So here's my story. I'm 23 years old and think im transgender or Gender fluid. Since I was a little kid I have been putting on female cloths but not regularly until the last couple years. Growing up going to school I was always bullied and made fun, feeling different and like an outcast. I would get made fun of for having friends that where girls and being called one for having long hair. I have been suspected of being gay by family and friends but I don't think they have that quit right. I don't find myself attracted to guys or any masculinity for that matter, I like femininity "girls". I have been with another trans girl before and liked that but I don't consider that gay ether because in my eyes it was a girl whether or not she had boy parts down there. Other then that all others have been with is girls in my life, so I don't think sexuality is a problem with me. I'm still closeted to this day. Since I was old enough to start caring about my looks I have never really cared for my them, I look in the mirror and don't like my appearance. I have had long hair forever and refused to cut it because I didn't like the way I looked with short hair and since I started growing hair on my face and body I have shaved it off because I find it gross. I Put on female clothing and do makeup to the best I can and love the feeling, I like the idea of being pretty always have. I know im going to get this question so yes I have worn girl cloths for sexual thrill but I also do it because it feels right to me. Know the real confusion im getting is a struggle between the guy me and the girl me that I have inside. I still enjoy a lot of things that would be associated with guys but also in secret enjoy a lot of things that would be seen as thing a girl would do and im not sure if its just the many years of trying to live up to the expectations of being a normal guy or if that's part of the real me. So I have done research and come to the conclusion I mite be gender fluid, but im not sure. I want to look feminine and where girls cloths and be considered a girl I think, but still have these male urges as well. I have yet to see a therapist about this but am looking for one right now. Im just scared at the moment cause I feel like my body has already gone to far to reach the level I want. Im 6'3 and have size 14 feet and feel like I would stick out like a sore thumb even if I could pass in all other categories, as well scared of ridicule from friends and family. I just don't know what right anymore and its making my head spin. If there's anyone who has been through anything like im am now I would greatly appreciate any help and advice given.

-waves- HELLO!

So the part where you mentioned you're not gay however a lot of friends and family are convinced you are and all that. You're not alone, thats basically almost spot on the same for me. My family know I'm not gay because I bring women home I suppose 0-o And my mum used to go mental cause she could hear me having sex with them upstairs. But not important! When some one knows me, they accept me for who I am so they accept I'm not gay. However almost 80% of the time at least when I meet some one new they think I'm gay, and this is not because I flirt with men cause I don't or that I sound too gay. I don't know why most people when they meet me think I'm gay but it just happens and it used to bug me a lot, because it'd happen so often ya know if some one asks you the same question a million times ya gonna get annoyed.
But now yea I DO see it at least as a small indication I am truly female at least inside, and maybe that is what they're picking up on, that I don't quite fit in the body I was given so they pin me as gay, I like to think of it like that anyway cause it makes me happy!

So yea my family and friends, I surround my self with people who are supportive, fantastic and just accept you for who you are. But strangers and people who are a bit more...... Old fashioned in their way of thinking maybe..... They almost always think I'm gay and the "old fashioned" people even when I get to know them they still give me ->-bleeped-<- about it and don't believe me no matter what which can be very annoying.
So yea I know that can suck but I see it as small evidence I should transition and when it bugs me it helps to think of it like that.

Anyway! Personally it sounds like you know what you want but you're confused because of fears and doubts..... At least in that post it sounds like that.
But yea nothing you can do apart from research the topic, spend time here and with other people who are trans so you understand and get used to the issue. With time at least for me I just accepted who I was and all them fears and doubts were always stupid and silly so eventually they did disappear. And now I am HAPPY and excited to be trans, I don't see it as a sickness anymore. And I'm thrilled to start transitioning.

This is truly not a bad thing, inconvenient maybe! But yea just rant ya feelings out to anyone that'll listen, deal with issues as they arise (Like no need to worry about family knowing until ya know what you wanna do) with time things will improve and when you know what you want all them fears and doubts will feel silly no matter if you decide you're happy in your current body or not.




No F-Bombs Please