It's got to be the emotions that come out of nowhere (at least not in my previous 60 years of living), and carry me away.
And they can reduce me to a puddle of tears in short order, or send my head into total bliss.
Tempered with the knowledge that I was never much in the manly man department, I have to say that my emotions are in a state of truce.  Calm down, each side gets it's fair share to time and attention.  The weak male part doesn't want to let go, but often loses because the female part is too quick.
That's the easy stuff.
The hard stuff is conducting oneself out in public.  I don't look like a woman, so I have to watch the giggles and batting eyelashes stuff.  Upsetting others is not something I want to be doing.  Making them smile & laugh, no problem.

Yes!

The feelings of joy and bliss are totally overwhelming. I love it but never expected them or thought they would last.

I don't think I understood what people were talking about before I started HRT.

The happy feels are almost too much.

2-months in

It seems like the neurons that rub together to form words are turning into word ninjas. (writing vocabulary and words I've forgotten are coming to fore more readily)

Beard shadow becoming more pronounced. Ugh. And it's a close shave.

Welp. Seems like my little army has lost their marching orders. Semen running clear. I'm actually not sure how I feel about this. I'm killing them!!

Temple hairline starting to show more regrowth.

Skin getting that freakishly asian pale-yellow glow.

Is it creepy to like the way you 'smell'? Things sure seem different.

Oh yeah, lost interest in video games.

And so the confustication continues on...

My hair in my problem areas continues to fill in, and overall it's growing like a weed! I had my dead ends cut off and a reshaping around a month ago, and my hairs length has shot down 3 inches in just 1 month -still healthier than it's ever been and no split ends. In addition my face is finally filling in and has a softer appearance I hope continues. My right boob is bigger than my left one, but both are very sore. Myself and my SO hugged tightly the other day and we hurt each other's boobs, lol! (it's her monthly time). As we hugged we're both yelling owe! owe! owe! owe! laughing at the same time, and we both just cracked up laughing about it afterward for over 5 minutes.

Ally

Quote from: Evelyn K on May 01, 2014, 11:47:05 PM
2-months in

It seems like the neurons that rub together to form words are turning into word ninjas. (writing vocabulary and words I've forgotten are coming to fore more readily)

Beard shadow becoming more pronounced. Ugh. And it's a close shave.

Welp. Seems like my little army has lost their marching orders. Semen running clear. I'm actually not sure how I feel about this. I'm killing them!!

Temple hairline starting to show more regrowth.

Skin getting that freakishly asian pale-yellow glow.

Is it creepy to like the way you 'smell'? Things sure seem different.

Oh yeah, lost interest in video games.

And so the confustication continues on...

Crap, you too?  I used to be pretty inarticulate, but now I catch myself using 50 cent words in my vocabulary that remained unuttered prior to HRT. 

Quote from: Jill F on May 02, 2014, 07:41:10 PM
Crap, you too?  I used to be pretty inarticulate, but now I catch myself using 50 cent words in my vocabulary that remained unuttered prior to HRT.

Thank God for blogging.

The language thing is crazy cool.

Quote from: Tori on May 02, 2014, 07:55:34 PM
Thank God for blogging.

The language thing is crazy cool.

Some days I seriously consider putting up a sign WARNING IF I AM QUIET DO NOT ENGAGE IN CONVERSATION. YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO LEAVE!!!. I could talk before now, I don't need to breathe to get words out

Hahahaha!

I used to rant on testosterone, now I jabber, and chat, and talk, and talk, and talk...

My friends tell me I have a "Glow" about me and they've noticed a change toward my being much happier than before I started my hrt & full transformation. I too have noticed I'm much more happyier and look forward to each day.

Ally

I know HRT will affect hair growth (legs, arms, etc but not beard), and skin (softer, etc) but what will it do for my legs and shaving?  Being on herbals for the last 7mos, I got the fat redistro'd fine.. on hips, butt and legs (thighs getting larger, thigh gap workin') but they still -look- like guys legs, just shapelier.. when (if) I get switched to real/script hormones, will leg skin get smoother also? I don't have blemishes on them, but they are just pathetic looking, even after shaving.. and whats with these lil red bumps, ugh!!.  Granted, they probably need some real Sun on them to darken up a bit but does HRT help make them "look" more feminine?

I haven't really noticed a whole lot of changes since I started, although I've only been on hormones for about 2 weeks. However, my breasts have grown and I seem to have anywhere from dull throbbing pain in the chest region to some pretty sharp pains. I noticed that my body hair takes a little longer to grow back, not a whole lot longer, but it's nice not to have to shave there every day. In terms of mental effects, I'm a lot calmer - I use to get really anxious, so I'm glad that stopped. For the most part I've just been sitting back and enjoying the ride, you know business as usual

Quote from: Paula Christine on May 03, 2014, 11:54:15 AM
I know HRT will affect hair growth (legs, arms, etc but not beard), and skin (softer, etc) but what will it do for my legs and shaving?  Being on herbals for the last 7mos, I got the fat redistro'd fine.. on hips, butt and legs (thighs getting larger, thigh gap workin') but they still -look- like guys legs, just shapelier.. when (if) I get switched to real/script hormones, will leg skin get smoother also? I don't have blemishes on them, but they are just pathetic looking, even after shaving.. and whats with these lil red bumps, ugh!!.  Granted, they probably need some real Sun on them to darken up a bit but does HRT help make them "look" more feminine?

The difference between proper hrt meds and herbals is night and day. In fact, for most girls herbals really just, well, don't work, period. As with all medicines you need to consult your Primary Care physician, and get a referral to an Endochronologist or OBGYN with transgender experience. You'll also need a therapist who has Transgender experience. However, the Endo or OBGYN can get you started on hrt, and monitor you in order to adjust your meds if necessary.

Best wishes.
Hugs
Ally

Ally, thanks, but I know all that and I am already seeing one of the best TG therapists here in the Valley.  And you and i are -not- going to start that herbal/drug battle again. I have good growth already (Bs), tho you won't believe it which I don't care.  I had my first endo appt akready just waiting on lab results and scripts.  I just asked if drug hormones will change the way my legs look.

Thanks anyway.

Quote from: Paula Christine on May 03, 2014, 06:24:34 PM
Ally, thanks, but I know all that and I am already seeing one of the best TG therapists here in the Valley.  And you and i are -not- going to start that herbal/drug battle again. I have good growth already (Bs), tho you won't believe it which I don't care.  I had my first endo appt akready just waiting on lab results and scripts.  I just asked if drug hormones will change the way my legs look.

Thanks anyway.

If you noticed I said with MOST girls herbals don't work. No "battle" wanted nor intended. I never tried them though I was tempted a few times over the years. I'm happy to hear you've got access to great specialists. To answer your question yes, hrt will change how your legs look to a more feminine appearance, and soften your skin.

Again I wish you the very best.

Ally

I'm sorry.. I do apologize, I didn't mean to sound antagonistic, I just am tired of being told they don't work, wasting time, money, etc.. sorry.. really.. but no, they are not all the same.  Some work, some don't.. depends on the body chemistry.  They worked well for me with no side effects.  But my therapist and endo can not work with herbals.. so that's why I'm switching to the script based drug hormones. 

Thank you for the answer tho.  I know you and others are just looking out for us.

Recently, I have really noticed my legs changing. The shape is softening. Fat is going to thighs, butt and hips. Hair growth has slowed. Muscle tone is much softer. Subcutaneous fat all over.

The process has been ongoing but I really started noticing these changes in the last 4-6 weeks. I love it!

the hair on my legs struggles to grow back

Today my left upper eyelid seem to be puffier than the right, just slightly enough that the folds stays slightly more open then the other.

Not symmetrical! Was never like this, ever!

The longer I am on E the more sure I am and never want to go back.
This was not expected.

How could such a little thing make such a difference?

Oh that and killer legs in the making as they tone down and loose their bulk.

Quote from: Jenny07 on May 04, 2014, 03:06:14 AM
The longer I am on E the more sure I am and never want to go back.
This was not expected.

My dysphoria has gotten worse on E. Before I was at least somewhat comfortable leading a fake life as a guy, but now I can barely tolerate getting ready for work (transition date at work is still three months off...).

Jane