So... I've never thought it would happen, but obviously I need to go back on part-time instead of full-time... I just cannot bear it right now... I've been sirred almost all the time, no matter how I dress, what's my make-up, etc. I was called "he" even with a top, showing enough of my breast, while it's visibly not fake... I have more feminine walk, than half of the girls I know... My voice is passable on the phone...
I don't know what I do wrong, but maybe I was just rushing the things, assuming, that on almost 15 months of HRT I am visually passable enough, which aparently came not to be true.
I feel frustrated, depressed and stuck...

Can you help me with some suggestions how to proceed in this situation...?

I don't know that I have any suggestions, but I do have tons of tenderness to send your way. I'm not seeing anything in your photo that makes me think "male". Do you have any women friends that you are comfortable enough talking to and who will be candid (but not blunt) about any visual cues that seem male in your demeanor or deportment? How about your gender therapist? Mine was very good at recognizing the vestiges of male socialized mannerisms in my and helping me get rid of them.

Either way, please stay strong and beautiful. You will get there, I'm sure.

Jane

I wish I could make it better.  In your picture you look absolutely like a woman.  Just stay strong.  Hugs

Your beautiful, in your picture.  I really hope everything can work itself out, and you can go full time again soon.  Please keep your chin up.

Dont let others get to your skin & change who you are  ... Stay strong & I wish you best of luck in what decision you make

Getting some advice from cis women you trust is a pretty good idea.  Ultimately the choice has to be what makes you the most comfortable now.  "Tomorrow is but a dream"  I don't know of any rules except to be true to oneself. If you are more comfortable part time for now, ok.  If you need to better find the inner you, she is there.

I hate it when someone calls me sir, even if I deserve it for the way I am behaving.  But it doesn't happen to me when I am projecting femininity, only when I am unsure.  Could confidence be a part of this?  IDK

Hugs,
Julie

Based on your avatar I can't imagine what the issue is. Maybe it's posture, the way you walk or talk (as opposed to the sound of your voice), or clothing style (surely they don't sir you when you're in a dress?) or make up (is it too much or not enough, don't know if your beard shadow shows but that's a definite male gender marker). Short of correcting them, I'm not sure what you can do.

Am I missing something here ? From your picture, you clearly look every bit the woman to me. So, why on earth would you want to go back the other way ? I think you would have to try hard to convince people that you were a bloke if you tried. Chin up and ignore them or point the in the direction of the nearest opticians.

Nikki

Keep trying! Rest up a while, get better organized & try again.   I tried so many times I've lost count. For me it was always the stupid beard/facial hair.

It's OK GF, chill a while, take some bubble baths, be glad for what you did.

There are no gender therapist in the country I live in... just psychotherapists (I am visitng one every week). She was the one, who told me it is time to go fulltime three weeks ago...
There are two friends of mine, who think, that my face is still a little bit more angular for a woman and if someone stares at me and they are close enough, they will probably notice what I am... The rest of my friends say, that I am passable enough, but I think, that all of them are just hiding the truth, trying not to hurt me.

I don't have a beard shadow - I had 11 laser sessions so far and there is no dark hairs anymore, but only some light and tiny hairs left, which are hard to see, but I still need to shave them to become 100% invisible.

I don't wear dresses now, because I am still afraid to do so, but I wear tight jeans, which are pretty feminine, combined with different kind of tops, blouses or shirts, also typically feminine.
My make up is usually something like that (this photo was made right before I was going out en femme, about 10 days ago):

You look great, maybe just relax more & do not try so hard. Enjoy yourself, be confident in yourself & care less what other people think.

Lipstick, all women wear lipstick. You are pretty, enjoy making up your face.

Enjoy life GF, you are going to be just fine.

Buy some nice dresses. A bright red litte number. Dress up & go out on the town & just have fun.  Almost nothing makes a girl feel better than a beautiful dress unless it's a new pair of shoes.

Quote from: FrancisAnn on May 03, 2014, 05:54:55 AM
You look great, maybe just relax more & do not try so hard. Enjoy yourself, be confident in yourself & care less what other people think.

I agree, I don't think looks are the issue..

QuoteLipstick, all women wear lipstick. You are pretty, enjoy making up your face.

Feel free to disregard this, not all women wear lipstick.. Maybe if it was 1952..

QuoteEnjoy life GF, you are going to be just fine.

Can't argue with this..

Poor girl is probably tired of everyone telling her what to do. She looks great.

Good luck GF.

try going out with a group of chicks, I notice I pass more when its me and some guy friends, people tend to just see me as another dude, just shorter lol so maybe going out with a group of chicks will help, plus they can let you know whats tripping you up with passing, you look female to me, I would never sir you on the street

Aquarelle, you don't look male to me.

Thank you all for the kind words and the advices *hugs* I will follow most of them (some are not applicable)

My wardrobe is full of nice girl's clothing - everything from lingerie to coats. I don't have male clothes anymore - I gave them all to friends almost two months ago, because I believed it is time to go fulltime and continue my life as a woman... But now, my lawsuit for changing ID is delayed (this country is freaking absurd), I got sirred enough and finally I am just scared to wear my dresses, because I still see a man in the mirror... Maybe I am weak or just something's wrong with me...

Unfortunatelly, I can't go anywhere with girlfriends and so on, because I have no money to go to cafes, bars, cinemas and everything like that... I can only visit some friend around after they finish work and then walk back home alone in the dark, which is not an option...

I'm sorry it's going a bit rough.  For what it's worth, I can understand where you are coming from.  I've never gone full time myself (still waiting) but it seems like the very beginning is always a bit of a transition.  Maybe you just need a little more time with it.  However, if you decide to go back to part time for a little while, there is no shame in that.  Some of us need more time and it's as simple as that.  It's not a race, you move as fast as you need to for yourself.  Good luck with everything. 

What part of the country are you in? I mean, I'd almost say anyone who "sir"s you the way you're dressed and present is doing it deliberately and hurtfully. Are you sure it's as much as you think? Or do you only remember the ones that stick out? Are you super tall? Just reverse their gender back and smile... confidence and cheekiness go a long way. Good luck and don't give up; you aren't pretending to be a woman, you aren't trying to be a woman. You ARE a woman. Own it.

Quote from: Jane's Sweet Refrain on May 02, 2014, 04:27:29 PM
I don't know that I have any suggestions, but I do have tons of tenderness to send your way. I'm not seeing anything in your photo that makes me think "male". Do you have any women friends that you are comfortable enough talking to and who will be candid (but not blunt) about any visual cues that seem male in your demeanor or deportment? How about your gender therapist? Mine was very good at recognizing the vestiges of male socialized mannerisms in my and helping me get rid of them.

Either way, please stay strong and beautiful. You will get there, I'm sure.

Jane

This is great advice. I don't see anything about your photo that would psychologically force somebody to sir you unless they see something we don't, and they're just being arrogant jerks. If I knew you in person I could help you some. I don't know how you have been carrying yourself or whether your voice / verbiage / tone does in fact set people off from time to time. In my experience in having a lot of trans friends, voice is usually what brings people to subconsciously mis gender somebody.