Not sure how to go about coming out with who I am to my family and friends.. who do I start with, what do I say to lessen the shock. Any advice or personal stories would help greatly.

personally, i said "mom, i'm a girl trapped in a boy's body* maybe becuz i'm old enough to make my own choices but my mother said ok, i love you either way and thus i started my therapy. you have to decide who is most important to you and start there. i suggest make hypothetical remarks such as what if and gauge their reaction

Thats one of my problems I don't really have a relationship with my mother I thought that would have been the best choice to if it where something I could do. I was raised by my dad : \

eep. father's, from what i hear are very difficult to handle but some are understanding. personally, i dont know how to deal with men whether its my friends, my brother cousins or any man period but try the what if scenario but try not to give yourself away as of yet. is there anyone else your close to like a friend or an outside family member?   

In a what if scenario my father has said its would not matter to him if I was gay, that he would still love me and understand. but I feel like this is a much larger ballpark then sexuality. As for any other family maybe my grandmother but not sure with her ether, especially considering im living with her right now. Friends I feel like I should work in after I get it of my chest to one initial person.

well yes, its far bigger than sexuality. like you, i'm also suffering from dysphoria so the main suggestion is that you talk to a therapist who specializes in gender dysphoria becuz as it stands, you and me are 2 peas in the same pod. in the case, you actually have a stable footing so see if your dad would agree in letting you talk with a therapist

Like me and him talk with a therapist together?

if that is something you want than go for it but its you who needs to do the talking. its a long process i can tell you that and days like i've had today will happen that it will break you but hang tough. also try looking into information about this so your better prepared for when you do decide to see a therapist to talk these feelings over and it will also help your dad understand so it wont end up like the play dough affect is what my therapist calls it

i didnt come out directly .. but my mum found my picture of me had make-up on in my drawer , so i we talked, we cried , then everything went well

Quote from: DianaVV on May 04, 2014, 06:49:32 PM
i didnt come out directly .. but my mum found my picture of me had make-up on in my drawer , so i we talked, we cried , then everything went well

so looks like i score high points in just coming out off the bat. i can tell you though, when i told my mom i was going full steam ahead, it look like she said finally, after all these years of saying it your finally do something about it. just havent told my brother yet. oh boy.

Are you in school? Are you in your 20's? The reason is if you are in school then a guidance councilor my be someone to talk to and perhaps offer neutral ground to discuss this with your Dad. There is a Barbra Walter special with Jazz you can have him watch. It sounds like you need the support of a gender therapist and if available use a sliding scale therapist if money is very tight.

Pick your the friend relative you are closest to and you are almost certain will support your decisions and back you up come hell or high water. Then slowly start from there.

Personally I chose one of my female friends (had to tell her twice but that's another story). Then came out to more of my friends slowly one after he commented about my dress and that I wasn't taking female hormones (my reply yet).

My siblings I've yet to be able to tell due to time and location.

When I told my mother this time around she flipped out, placed a heap of restrictions on me on who and when I can tell (still debating what  shoulder I should listen to ). And accused me of this and that but she was told years ago and she is a bit of a narcissistic so.... Haven't and won't tell my father but I don't speak to him even when we lived under the same roof.  So don't think you have to tell everyone.

I told everyone face to face because that's the way I'm most comfortable with so choose a method that you are comfortable with because you are probably going to be nervous enough as it is.

Hope this is helpful for you.

Gypsy

my father family side whoop got ape bananas if i told them. they are scream and holla christian folk, my twin sister is like whatever (dont know whether she cares or not but still debating  ) if my father was still alive, he'd probably break down and cry like a baby, my brother wouldnt care but he is somewhat of a person who speaks his mind off the bat so he'd say something like " i understand but i need you to think about what impact this would have on your life and the life of your family* so yea but since i dont have any friends, not dating and not working since i'm in school, makes my journey easier.

Grr face wrong a whole essay on how I came out, was feeling realy good about the thought my exsperieces could help someone and my phone did a one push bye bye to it all. Anyway, realy long story short. Come out slowly a little bit here and their, exspecially if its to a person that has no idea this can come as a shock. Also you might want to try going to a doctor and comming out to them and see if they can reffer you to a psych, being able to exsplain a word such a dsyphoria and that you've been dianosed with it, can be a lot easyer to understand, as aposed to hey what ever you think about gander I'm a throw a spanner in it :p.  One thing I will re write is that I took great deight in pointing out a sentence that was in my psych refferals letter "gender dysphoria is not a mental illness" I pointed this out to my dad and said "well I was right its my body that wrong not my head" then stuck my toung out and made hin a cupper  

i think we are confusing dev. either that or i'm totally lost again lol

Quote from: Umiko Nixie on May 04, 2014, 06:51:44 PM
so looks like i score high points in just coming out off the bat. i can tell you though, when i told my mom i was going full steam ahead, it look like she said finally, after all these years of saying it your finally do something about it. just havent told my brother yet. oh boy.

ahha thats good thing girlfriend i hope your brother gonna take it very well

now my mum said i'm her oldest daughter, she helped me in every single ways she could, when i had breast augmentation, she helped me got up in the morning .. when i had sex reassignment surgery , she's the one who took care of me , helped me got stuffs (also my dad & sister were very helpful)..

So I've only told certain members of my family. I tried to make it out as if it was someone else, of course that was only to my mama and she wasn't fooled.

The only people in my family I really haven't told is my dad. This is mostly because he hasn't been reacting very well hearing about my friend being transgender.

Reaver

To clarify im 23 years old about 6'2, so im not in school anymore im an adult but still young. No one here is confusing me, im just trying to get advice on others experiences to help pick the right person to talk to and help me through this. to change from

This"unhappy person"


To This big smile 

Looking at the photos if you have ever presented as the second photo to your friends. I would suggest telling them first. (Actually I would tell at least one of them first anyway, (a) they may not be surprised (b) we pick our friends we don't pick our family.) That was the way I started once one person I trusted and knew would accept me was down the others while difficult slowly followed.

Also have you thought about a counselor while helping you find where you lie on the gender spectrum, they could also give you some advice on how to come out to the people close to you.  Mine gave me some ideas and also helped me see some problems are smaller than I'm thinking they are

Hun, you got me jealous now.