Ok I might just being feeling abnormal or somthing, but. I get the impression that I'm rushing my transisition.

I mean I can't remember a time I've ever felt as though I belong in the male role? And all my life I've always tried to as people say, "be a man and man up" and "stop being such a girl" but that ment dening that I liked flowers, hiding that preffered "female" attire and that I though life was unfair.

Anyway, I kept putting off comming out because I didn't want to upset my family and I loved them, why should my happyness come at the exspence of their I told myself. Que depression since I thought it was selfish to be happy, I also kept telling myself that I've not tried this yet or that and preffer to wait antill I atleast exsperienced a few things I thought and hoped would make living in the male roll enjoyable. Due to lack of self estiem and motivation for the male roll completelly I would apply and for financial reasons hope I got a job, But My aplications were never accepted further depression. Not only was I not happy as a man, but I felt I faild at trying.

So At 22 yrs old I had exsperienced everything I hoped would make me happy In the roll of male, and none of it worked. I spent the next 3 yrs simply waiting in hopes death would take me.

I thankfully came to terms that I needed to do somthing about it, but because I know that their is no enjoyment in life as male, I feel as though I'm moving towards transition as fast as I can. And I'm worried because I seem to be rushing In comparison to others.

I came out to my sister, a week later my dad, went shopping with my sister, wore my outfit to the doctors, and again to the psych for my refferal. And I push myself and have mile stones. You know like if I can't do it now who's to say ill be able to do it later? So the ways I see it is? yes I am self contious about shadow boobless ness and buldge, I don't wear make up. But I just set myself now or never if not before for specific situations, because if I can go out "pressenting" as female, before hormoans with a shadow, and hiding a buldge, then hormoans can only make it easeyer for me.

The thing I'm worried about is that is seem to be diving in at the deep end, when it feels like I'm still in the shalow end. I don't know

I know I am going very slowly.  I think everyone is different with either their situation of level of comfort.  If you just do what is right for you then I think everything will work out in the end.  I would not worry to much about rushing things right now.  There really is no instant cure (unfortunately).  HRT can only progress at its own rate so your transition will take however long your body takes without regard to what you want.  I think for me small steps is all I can handle due to family and work responsibilities.  If you can leap forward and it works for you than by all means go for it.

I think you are the only person who can answer that question. I've been going fast and now I feel the need to slow down a bit. I don't think it invalidates that I want to transition I just need time to get used to the changes I've already made. I had to get to a certain point though, until I felt like I could slow down.

Do you feel like you are rushing it?

Quote from: christopher on May 06, 2014, 09:00:22 AM
Do you feel like you are rushing it?

NoN I was just comapring my self to others, I shouldn't do that. I'm first to say everybody is unique and yet I'm probably one of the first to compare myself to others.

No It seems to be going slowly, but I think its mainly because my first apointment with the gender identity service is in august, and I've been waiting a whole year, to get a letter that says wait half a year. So I been pushing myself here and there fo at least fgeel some form of progression.

But that's probably beacuse hrt is the real (this is permemant) no going back to how things were before moment so apart from taking my clothes out of the closet, everything els is a cake walk in comparison.

HRT for the 1st 3 to 6 months is mostly reversible (YMMV). You will know the 1st week or 2 if the medicine is the proper fit. Then settle in for 4 months and enjoy the process. If you want out pull the little cord and a parachute will come out . I knew after 4 months I was not going back to pre-hrt.