So, I've been deliberating on coming out on Facebook, so I can share my thoughts and (more) articles and... well... other stuff on it, and I don't really feel like creating a new persona just for it. All of my close friends and most of my close family know at this point, and I'm not friends currently with anybody from work. So. Should I do it, and if so, how would I approach it?

I made a new account and then posted my coming out news on the old one before closing it out. That way if anyone objected or could not handle it I would not have to unfriend and just start out accepting new friend request's on my new page, if any. I got an amazing response which honestly surprised me. This approach worked for me best.

I did that.  No putting that genie back in the bottle!

It went over better than expected, but I don't have a lot of intolerant acquaintences.  A few, mind you, but it's nice to know who your friends and allies REALLY are and who was really just a waste of your time.

I came out on Facebook at the end of March. Did a coming out post to explain things and changed my name and gender on FB. Took most of my photos and made them so only I can see them. I was expecting a few positive responses and no negative ones (until my "recently sober" cousin decided to berate me. But that is a different story) anyway if anything I gained friends. Wives of old friends sent me friend request it was quite odd. So I say go for it, seems like most already know.

Yes, it seemed I had quite a net gain as well.  I get to go out on girls' nights out now with my all of my wife's crazy girlfriends who have adopted me as one of their own.   So much more fun for me than dudebro gatherings. 

Quote from: Jill F on May 05, 2014, 08:00:40 PM
Yes, it seemed I had quite a net gain as well.  I get to go out on girls' nights out now with my all of my wife's crazy girlfriends who have adopted me as one of their own.   So much more fun for me than dudebro gatherings.

very nice Jill 

Same here. I had 17 regular friends now over 50. The support has been literally over whelming. Not all aspect's of transition are bad.

I came out on facebook too, I did do a run through and made sure it was only people I knew personally. And apart from one sister that couldn't understand and removed me because she didn't want me confusing her son. Everything went ok, I luagthed at the why have you got a womans picture and the wow realy when I told them its a picture of me. I don't hide my photoes and haven't removed old ones either. And people look through then and always say "I must admit you look a lot happyer now".

Another surprising thing was how people asked questions like

have you started hormoans yet?
Will you be getting be going all the way?

So yeah a net gain for me too.

I would like to point out that comming out on face book was somthing I did in order too feel a bit of progression in a you have a year and a half to wait before you can start waiting period.

One of the things I did to help cope with a long wait combined with a sence of urgency and a need for progression

Facebook?  That is so... 2012. 

Quote from: JamesG on May 05, 2014, 08:31:12 PM
Facebook?  That is so... 2012. 

What can I say? I still troll usenet sometimes. 

Quote from: JamesG on May 05, 2014, 08:31:12 PM
Facebook?  That is so... 2012. 

lol

yes, let come out through IG

I came out on Facebook in February after all my immediate family knew. I didn't loose a single friend and in fact gain about 6. My wife shared my post on her account with a lovely response and several of her friends friend requested me. She also didn't loose any friends either (except she had to drop one). There were a few that kept asking if she was OK and after a while she kind of got annoyed about it. There was one or two of her friends that said they could not have stayed in the relationship with their spouse if the same thing happened to them. My wife kept having to remind them, that she is not them. She ended up un-friending one of her friends because of her attitude and saying that "God wouldn't want her to stay married to me." My wife would have un-friended them wether she stayed with me or not.

My wife has warned me against it. "Once you do it, that knoweldge  is out there for anybody to see, even your employer." She does have a point, though. Right now I'm still in my 90 day 'trial period' with my current employer, and I love this  job so much, and I can't afford to lose it. As much as I'd love to bring people to task for being bigoted, I just don't have the luxury of being unemployed again.

And to be honest, its your business.  No one really should care or want to know beyond those you know/know you.  I know that gets into the whole "visibility" and activism thing, but why do you even care if the whole Facebookiverse knows you are trans?  (I've never gotten the whole narcissism thing that FB facilitates)

Yes work WILL find out and it it will follow you around for the rest of your life (or until the apocalypse).

Oh, I know work will find out. I plan on talking to HR once I'm hired full time.

But that's the rub. I'm not. I'm just a contractor, so they can let my contract go for any reason at this point. So, while I agree with you that it is my business, if it wasn't for the fact that it could (possibly) jeopardize my employment, I probably would have gone and done it already.

And as a contractor you need to think (worry) about the next gig too...

I donno,  I am just the naturally cautious, conservative type, esp. when it comes to work/business.  You can go run out there if you want to/feel the need.  Just remember they call them martyrs for a reason. 

Well, it's a contract to hire position. Either they hire me or I'm forced to look for another job. I wish I had a better feel about the person who's going to be making the hiring decision, since I've never actually met him. I already know that there are a few misogynists that work there, and that the VIPs are all good Ole boys, so it's hard to suss out how things will play. If I were full time, it wouldn't bother me because I'd have hr backing me up, and if they didn't, I know a good lawyer. But as a contractor? We're disposable.

Then again I doubt anybody will find out in the next two weeks, so I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill.

I wouldn't be 100% percent sure work would find out. I changed my name and made all old post private  only. Anything you are tagged in will change the name automatically. If you haven't changed your FB address you can do that for added protection from work. Mine hasn't said anything. So they may not even care. Honestly I was worried about that at first too. But I am not friends with anyone I work with so I decided it was worth it for me to feel better about myself to check a profile the reflected who I am.

So I decided to go ahead and do it, and damn the consequences. Here's my post:

QuoteSo I have an announcement to make.
I'm transsexual.
I've already talked to a lot of you about this in person, and for those that I haven't, I apologize if you feel slighted in finding out through Facebook. This is not my intention. I'm simply at the point where I feel that a broadcast here will reach the rest of those closest to me (and some that aren't as close) and be comfortable with being out in a more public setting.
I've been out to myself and to my immediate family for almost a year now, and the stress of hiding is outweighing the fear of people finding out. I'm at the point where I want people to know, and damn the consequences, and doing this will make it easier for me to sleep at night, even though this might cause friction between a few of my Facebook friends. I've been cautioned against doing this since my employers could find out, but I've come to the conclusion that this is unlikely since I'm not friends with any of them, and if it does, and it does affect my employment, then I'll just have to find a good lawyer.
Throughout all this, I want this transition to be open, and maybe even educational, so I don't mind talking about it at all, if you have any questions. It's exhausting having to keep this to myself, and I want to share the small bits of joy that transitioning is bringing to my life, and I hope that you all will want to share in that too.

As my daughter would say, "da da DAaaaa!!"



Congrads!