Lately I've been thinking of cutting ties with my parents, none of it has to do with me being trans they're fine with that and have know since I was a child, I live at home with my boyfriend, mother, father, and sister. My parents aren't together but live together and my mom has a boyfriend, ( who I cannot stand)  anyways my boyfriend and I are in the process of getting a place and I'm thinking of just starting a new life, with none of my family members in it, my mother is dating a guy who is abusive, has broke her nose, arm, and pushed her down a flight of stairs and she sees these *crystal things* due from the fall and its permanent, I decided that I don't want nothing to do with her because she will not Leave him and insists on staying with a man who abuses her belittles her, and talks crap about her kids. My father I want to disown because we hardly ever talk even though we live together, he's very greedy and all he thinks about is money, I give my father 400  month out of the 721 I make and I only see about 200 dollars. Even if I need a ride to something simple, he expects gas money yet I give him all this money, I have him hold onto my food stamp card, but he never gets good food that we all enjoy (nasty crap from the dollar store) I'm really tired of these people so I've decided I no longer want them in my life once my boyfriend Brandon and I get a place, I plan on living fully stealth and if I'm around them I will always be known as transgendered. I'm really excited to get a place and start a life with Brandon, but I also want my parents to suffer and go into financial woe for not being parents to me, I don't care what anyone says because I would be happier without these people in my life

That's what I did. I love them because I can't help it, but I'm never going back. You gotta do you at some point, and it sounds like there's no room in their lives for everything you are. It sucks, but you aren't wrong. hang in there. :c

If there are bad, untenable, and destructive elements in your life the best thing to do sometimes is to cut out the fat imo.

-AM

I'm pretty sure most people will say or be thinking "They're your parents you should try to sort things out with them cause they love you" or some ->-bleeped-<- like that......

But I too have severe problems with my mother and would rather not have her in my life, I don't wish her pain or anything like that (I used to which is awful, she is the only one in the world I've ever wished "revenge" upon) now I just want her out of my life simply because she just makes it harder, I wish no pain on her anymore I just wanna continue with my life. "Mother" / "Parent"/ "Father" should not be an excuse to keep some one within your life who does nothing but make your life worse. Think about if they were just a friend, would you of already cut them out of your life? Why should the word "parent" give them the right not to be cut out of your life if they don't fit within it positively?

People also when at least I talk about how I'm not on good terms with my mother that I owe her. Because she gave me life and brought me up. I and you owe our parents nothing, when you bring a child into the world it is your responsibility not theirs until they are of age to look after them selves.

But anyway, enough of ranting -_- Seriously I suggest you just move out and not make a big thing about it, just don't talk to them, don't invite them over and see how things go. If you never regret it then you'll never invite them over or talk to them or see it and you'll think nothing of it. If for some reason you begin to miss them, then you can always rethink things. If you don't make a big deal of it like telling them you're disowning them and never seeing them again, there is no downside to blanking them for a bit and seeing if it's gonna work out for you or not.

I suggest keeping enough distance between you and your parents to keep you sane.

I wouldn't suggest cutting off all contact (people can change) unless they harass you. But don't visit or be in touch with them any more often than you can stand or you think is good for you.

People cannot change, I've already made a decision, thank you all for our responses

You should move as far away as you can. 500 miles should be a suitable barrier, although moving more than a days drive away would be ideal.

First of all Kate, you don't know me, or my parents for that matter. My father is a greedy person with no emotion. And it doesn't matter how you put it, they're going goodbye

Quote from: latoya rayne on May 06, 2014, 01:51:53 PM
First of all Kate, you don't know me, or my parents for that matter. My father is a greedy person with no emotion. And it doesn't matter how you put it, they're going goodbye

You know, if you didn't want the opinion of someone who doesn't know your parents, I don't know why you asked in the first place... I'm pretty sure the only one who knows your parents here is you. Anyway, I wish you'd at least consider keeping in touch with your mom. I know it's tough to support someone while they are making a horrible, self-destructive decision, but those are often the times when you need the support of your family the most.

*edit: unwanted comment removed.

Um I didn't ask no one anything I sited a statement, and no I will not contact my mother thanks.

Serioualy Latoya. Your mother really needs help. There are many women in abusive relationships that stay in those relationships and nothing really come good out of it in the end. He may actually one day hurt her really bad. One day she may actually have enough and do something that will ruin the rest of her life. If I were you I would definately try to help her or at least call the law when her boyfriend is abusing her. Domestic violence in the states is an automatic trip to jail for the agressor.

As for your father, hmmm. can't say nothing other than you are right. Frugal, greedy and basically taking his kid's last dollar. Like I said. I can't say anything other than he is a jackass.

You, your boyfriend, your mom, her boyfriend and your dad in the same house? Pardon me for being blunt and brutally honest but that is crazy intense and extremely unhealthy emotionally. Wow. You and your boyfriend run as fast as you can and don't stop until you hit water, Canada or Mexico if you are in the US. Just distance yourselves as far as you can.

You may not like what I got to say and you don't have to contact her but if your mother hasn't done anything bad to you, she may very well need you one day and come to you. Pretty much it's up to you on what you do but battered woman's syndrome is sometimes just as complex and uncontrollable as being trans. But like I said, that is up to you how you handle it.

Seriously, my mother will never change, she always puts herself before her kids. And I did not say her boyfriend lives with us, I said mine

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