Hey Everyone,

This last weekend was such a turning point in my life. I was surrounded by family members whom were highly supportive of me and my transition. They respectively treated me like one of the girls, used correct pronouns, and called me by my preferred name. I was so super charged with positive energy that my mind just turned off the fear switch and when we all decided to go to the mall, I wore my feminine clothes out in public for the very first time. It wasn't anything fancy, my hair was just nicely brushed but not done up or anything and I wasn't wearing any makeup. Everyone was very nice to me and no one even looked at me strangely. I was obviously presenting female and wearing a push up bra which gave the illusion to me having larger breasts than I really have. I even went into a crowded female bathroom and no one even batted an eye.

I'm very happy that my experience was so positive but at the same time I cant stop but worrying what people were thinking of me. Did they think I was a guy dressed as a woman but being considerate of it? Did they see me as a woman? I was never gendered by anyone which makes me wonder if I just straight up confused people but at the same time I didn't get any strange looks from anyone.

After that first mall visit, I've been just presenting female everywhere I go (except for work but that will be soon). So far, I haven't received "your'e a male!" type comments or even any strange looks. There was a target clerk that looked at me kinda weird but I think she was just having a bad day. I find that small kids will often point out things in an unfiltered manner but I have passed by quite a few small children in public and none of them even ousted me either.

I asked one of my cousins that I went out to the mall with if they thought that others perceived me as female or not and she told me "they probably thought you were female". But my mind just does not want to accept this fact.

I think I am worrying too much but I don't know how to stop myself from feeling this way.... 

The fact that no one called me either sir, mam, miss, dude, or anything gender specific since dressing this way just has me unnerved.

Congratz! and that feeling that everything is seeing you as male, will fade with time, ive been full time just over a year and when I first took the plung, thats how I felt for weeks, possiable the first few months. Your confidence with build over time and going out the door will feel right as rain. *hugs* best of luck.

Quote from: Teela Renee on May 07, 2014, 12:56:25 PM
Congratz! and that feeling that everything is seeing you as male, will fade with time, ive been full time just over a year and when I first took the plung, thats how I felt for weeks, possiable the first few months. Your confidence with build over time and going out the door will feel right as rain. *hugs* best of luck.

I think that you are right. I really did not anticipate coming out this early, I've only been on hormones for a little over a month but my inner woman just didn't want to wait any longer! It feels really nice to be able to express myself in colorful female clothing. When presenting in male mode, I only dress in black and gray colors as though I'm dressing for a funeral or something.

I'm also afraid that I look much older in female mode than I do in male mode. I'm 22 and in male mode, I can pull off looking 17 - 20 but in female mode, especially in my new profile pic, I think I look like I'm in my late twenties or even possibly in my thirties. Hopefully this will fade as the hormones mold me further but what do you all think?

hard to say. Im 27 and as a male I looked 18-21 as as a female people think im 16-23.    Just depends on my outfit. I like printed T's and shorts or skirts lol.

Those are all things you will develop a strength for as you progress. Kinda like hardening your confidence armor.

At first, i couldn't so much as wear tight jeans and a girl shirt without freaking out and having intense anxiety, I wasnt even wearing make up or a bra. Now I dress full time and I use the female bathroom all the time. Sometimes i get looks of curiosity or confusion, but people don't usually cause a big deal about it. I imagine that this is because Im only there to do what the inteded purpose of a bathroom is, and also because women usually are concentrated on a thousand other things to worry about whether or not you're a "dude or a chick".

People are gonna think what they are gonna think, what matters is what YOU think about you. Sometimes thats all it takes. I'm still just starting out and i have a lot of male features, yet i present female, i behave female and I firmly assert my certainty that I am female no matter what anyone thinks.

People wont generally be so straight forward or childish as to yell out "OMG ITS A GUY!" they will more than likely go no further than just gawking, anything else would be incredibly rude or childish and would more than likely cause them to make an ass out of themselves all on their own.

Its funny that i ran into this post because just last night i went out to a karaoke bar with friends and this old guy was literally RUDE enough to stand right in front of me and pull some random stranger next to him and say to him not even discreetly "Look to your right, look at that" and I was what was "on the right", the guy made a huge deal about me, and the other random patron was like "so? who cares?". Absolutely astonishing that this guy literally lacked the respect to consider that he was treating me like a zoo animal.

The more you do these things, the easier they will be to handle, and even better than that; you will be able to develop a sense of social behavior that exerts confidence. Back then I would stay quiet and avoid making eye contact or conversation with the cashier anywhere, but now if they ever chat me up, i chat right back and have a few laughs. Sometimes you just have to look at yourself in the mirror and say "I am me, no matter what anyone thinks."

You're just starting out so you have quite a ride ahead of you.

As for the whole looking older thing: that will change (at least it has for me), as the days pass i look younger and younger presenting as female, but currently it still makes me look older, probably also late 20's, and I'm 24 anyway so looking a few years older is no big deal. You will have a hard time seeing the female in your physical presentation because you've been staring at "male you" for the last 20-something years, so your mind has a burned in image of your male presentation. Some people will see you as female, others will see through you, others will simply treat you the way you are dressed even if they see through you. The point is to not place too much value on what others think of you and concentrate more on what you think of you.

Everything you're feeling is normal. I felt the exact same way the first time I ever began embracing and expressing myself You'll grow out of it; the hormones help with those feelings ~ they did for me.