I don't know. The thing is, I did do a lot more "masculine" things pre-transition, but it's not like I'm actively repressing anything, not doing those things anymore because somehow I say to myself "girls don't do that." I actually feel like my interests have changed. There's a lot of things that I was REALLY into as a guy, like roller coasters, engineering shows, car racing, sports, card games, pretty much just things that are more mechanical and emotionless, where now my attitude toward them is just "meh." There's even times where I actively try doing the same things, but I just lose interest in them now. They don't really appeal to me anymore.

So sometimes I wonder if I was only obsessing about those things in the first place because I was trying to fit in as a guy better. And actually, you know what? Frankly I just do NOT obsess about things anymore. Ever. Something about having male hormones in me made me very obsessive. I'd constantly be going on "kicks" where I'd go from obsessing about roller coasters, to obsessing about gender issues, to obsessing about writing, to obsessing about anime, to obsessing about music, to obsessing about Magic: the Gathering, to obsessing about poker, to obsessing about Christianity. It was always an obsession, always something that dominated my thoughts and made it hard to think about anything else. Now I really don't obsess over anything. I frankly just feel like I'm going through life, doing what makes me happy at any given moment, and I'm in control of what I'm interested in rather than what I'm interested in being in control of me.

So I don't know. A lot of stuff that I was into as a guy I was possibly only really into because it was an obsession. And now that I don't really obsess about things anymore, it's just kind of lost its appeal to me. I don't really understand why this has happened, but it has. Frankly now what I'm interested in is having fun with my friends, whatever that activity may be. And most of the time when I'm by myself, I'm bored, and don't know what to do because I don't really have things to obsess about anymore. I still play video games, but I can take them or leave them. I still watch anime, but I can take it or leave it. I still watch sports, but I can take it or leave it. I enjoy shopping and feminine things, but I can take them or leave them. Etc.

So I don't know. Is that "sacrificing?" It's not like I'm actively avoiding anything just because it's stereotypically-male.

The only time I wish I could do something more masculine is in regards to clothing. I wish I could just go out in a unisex t-shirt or sweatshirt and not have to care so damned much about my appearance. But that's just because I'm still getting gendered male when I do it. If I could do it and still be gendered female, I guarantee you I'd be doing it. I only avoid it because the pain of not passing is worse than the annoyance of being limited to fitted shirts with feminine necklines.

Derailing, but I'm digging that hairstyle on you, Carrie!

I can't think of anything I *consciously* gave up, except maybe that I used to love the grunge look and stopped doing that for a couple of years out of fear of looking too masculine. I did stop playing video games for a year or two as well, but that might've been because transition (and my new writing career) ate all my free time. Oh, and I did go through a phase where I was obsessed with makeup and hairstyling.

I've gotten back into gaming in the last year or so. I've also gone back to the flannel shirt over T-shirt and jeans look when I feel like it (I even have a couple of leftover shorts from the boy years that I still wear) and gave up on makeup except for special occasions. I don't have the patience anymore. So I guess while there *were* some sacrifices, they've turned out to be temporary, even if I didn't know it at the time; a few years out of transition, I'm not so insecure anymore, I suppose. Don't get me wrong, I still think I look hideous a lot of the time, and I still wish I weren't so horrifically shy and socially awkward... but I'm not seeing these appearance/character flaws in the context of gender so much anymore.

No personality sacrifices.  My journey is to strip everything down to the true me and  then build new dreams from there, from a place of complete authenticity.

I do have to sacrifice some of my own needs to meet the needs of others, with my physical gender dysphoria.  Which is a bit painful but necessary right now.

I suspect you will not need to walk that path.

I think about this a lot sometimes. I can't think of anything off the top of my head, I'm pretty open and comfortable with my interests and personality. I guess because I realized a long time ago that there's no point in hiding yourself because the truth comes out eventually.

That being said, there is one thing I can think of. I'm a lot more careful with my speech because I'm really insecure about how high my voice is (at least in my mind - people always seem to read it as male). It's not so much that I want to sound manly and tough, I'm just afraid people are going to go "that's a girl!"

My personality may have changed a little, but I think it was more a natural progression of finding some sort of peace with myself and not being pissed off at the world all the time anymore. I still do most of the same stuff, I still pick on some people and I still like most of the same things. So I don't feel I made any sacrifices pertaining to my personality at all.

None. The only difference between when I was pretending to be female and being honest as male is the relief from no longer pretending to be something I'm not.

Quote from: Declan. on May 07, 2014, 01:56:31 PM
Not sure I understand the topic title. We don't "become" anything; we change our bodies in some cases to ease dysphoria, but that's not "becoming" something else... Anyway, moving on - nothing has changed. My personality and interests are the same as they always were. I've gotten calmer with age, that's it.

This.

All I had to do was strip away all of the BS.  It's a lot easier now just letting the real me shine through unfiltered.

All the girls I know, including my girlfriend, plays video games. Especially Nintendo. There's no need to sacrifice something that you love doing!

I didn't sacrifice anything. I've always been true to myself. My personality, mannerisms, and choice in clothing were already masculine based. There was no need to change.

Quote from: Abbyxo on May 07, 2014, 09:04:28 AM
So, this was inspired by a brief convo I had on another thread. I think it's something a lot of us do, even inadvertantly...like, in trying to fit in as one gender, we give up things we associate with our birth sex to fit in.

I notice I do a ton of this, unfortunately. Like video games...I used to be majorly addicted to Nintendo. I *still* own every system back to N64 (used to have an NES) but I havent played video games since transition. And I even get mad when people bring up the fact I used to...I'm always like, ohh ya know I never reaally liked video games I just played along. But really, I've played I think every TLOZ and Mario game ever created, haha.

Then just other stuff like that. LOTR...I love LOTR. I've read all the books, even the Silmarillion, some multiple times. The appendices as well, hahah. I've seen the movies more time than I can count. I still have all the extend editions, all the books, even a few action figures, haha. Then Star Wars...know every obscure character, I owned every video game, card game, tons of action figures.

But, yeah, there's actually a ton of stuff like that. And it's not like I just grew out of all of it. I still like some of that stuff but I feel like it's too guyish. I remember I started playing Skyward Sword right around when I started transitioning...never finished it cause I didn't wanna be associated with that anymore. Hell, I stop watching Breaking Bad for a while, cause somebody told me it was a 'guy show'.

But yeah...I'd say by the same token I've gotten into some stuff that is soo not me because it seemed feminine. Like I do loove makeup. I fricken lovee makeup, I think it's so fun. But at the same time some of the styles I've sported have been waay over the top...like eye enlarging, blue circle lenses...and like, I became a pro at Dolly eye makeup to look like anime eyes, because I became obsessed with 'Kawaii culture'. And I made my voice soo super high and girly (which I still do and probably will continue to do tbh) because I was trying to come of as something that isn't exactly my style.

Anyway, what about you guys? What unnecessary changes have you made to yourself to be your identified gender?

Abby,

This stuff doesn't sound guyish to me; it sounds geeky. Geeky is good- it means you have passion about your interests and hobbies. Geek girls not only exist; they're hot. Embrace the stuff you love. That's what being a geek is.

Geekily yours,
Teg

Not a change in personality what so ever... Girl !

I am the same old alpha bitch !

and I love it... LOL

No sacrifices, and I never will. I've never fit in, so I guess I don't feel the need to start. I'm already getting to be comfortable with being a guy no matter what I say or do or like or dislike. Obviously not perfect; I have dysphoria, things about me bother me or make me feel like I won't be seen as who I am. But generally I'm OK. I've never felt like ditching something because it's too girly; that said, I'm not a girly person lol. The way I see it, me wanting to transition isn't simply because it's who I am, it's because it'll make me happier to be me completely. So, to be me completely, I can't delete things from my personality or my likes or dislikes or interests for the sake of being more typically masculine, because then I'll have gotten rid of parts of who I am.

Probably the biggest "sacrifice" for me is that I used to be a hard core car person. I have a full on drag race car and a very rare muscle car that I spent 4 years restoring that are currently rotting in storage right now and I'm trying to figure out a way to get rid of them. Getting dirty under the hood no longer holds any appeal; and I suspect it was a way of me overcompensating in the first place. I do admit to having a lot of fun with the drag race car; it's a blast to take off from a standing start with your front wheels in the air 

As far as personality changes - the biggest change there for me is that I'm releasing the macho fake male persona and I am learning who the real me is, and she has a gentle soul and really cares about people. She likes to cook and shop and spend hours girl chatting with her friends which is way different then the anti-social hermit I used to be.

Quote
No sacrifices, and I never will. I've never fit in, so I guess I don't feel the need to start. I'm already getting to be comfortable with being a guy no matter what I say or do or like or dislike. Obviously not perfect; I have dysphoria, things about me bother me or make me feel like I won't be seen as who I am. But generally I'm OK. I've never felt like ditching something because it's too girly; that said, I'm not a girly person lol. The way I see it, me wanting to transition isn't simply because it's who I am, it's because it'll make me happier to be me completely. So, to be me completely, I can't delete things from my personality or my likes or dislikes or interests for the sake of being more typically masculine, because then I'll have gotten rid of parts of who I am.

I couldn't have said it better, Jason. 

No sacrifices for me, I still play videogames everyday, still love cars, still love the same music. I actually spend most my gaming time with other girls.

For me I just added the things I was scared to do, bought a sewing machine etc

I don't think anyone should change what they enjoy doing for sake of what others might think. Saddens me OP that you gave up on nintendo, link between worlds was amazing as was Mario 3d world. Hyped for mario kart 8.

I would hope that when we give things up as we transform it's because they were over compensations we only did to convince ourselves we were the other gender. I'm not yet off of T and onto E so it's too soon to tell, but I hope I don't give up things and people I really like.

At  the age of 24 I gave up EVERYTHING: my parents threw me out, I lost my sister, my home town, my past, all my friends, and everything I had ever known. I left home with one suitcase and a bank draft for SRS and started my life over from nothing in a new city. I knew that I knew nothing and had everything to learn.

What I found was ME! I immersed myself in women's world and took the time to 'grow up girl'. Within a couple of years I was just amazed at the person I had become. It was worth it! 

The one thing I've worked to actively change in relation to transitioning and not just trying to become a more complete person is my handwriting.  I know that's a silly one, but all my science classes gave me doctor's handwriting; in othder words chicken scratch. So I decided to develope a more feminine style.

There have been other changes but I don't feel any of them were active.

I made zero sacrifices; I thoroughly identify as female but I will never allow that or anything else to dictate my behavior.

Quote from: AlexisPP on May 15, 2014, 12:08:24 AM
The one thing I've worked to actively change in relation to transitioning and not just trying to become a more complete person is my handwriting.  I know that's a silly one, but all my science classes gave me doctor's handwriting; in othder words chicken scratch. So I decided to develope a more feminine style.

There have been other changes but I don't feel any of them were active.

Ha!  I still can't read my own handwriting.  I think it's hopeless at this point. 

Maybe I should start putting little hearts over the "i" in "Jill"?