So, I'm wanting to be a waitress, I don't know much about the job except, you greet your customers, maybe read them a menu, make sure to keep up with their needs (Bring food, drinks anything else) be as courteous and polite and friendly to then as possible and do it as quickly as possible. Besides that and knowing minimum wadge is like $5 lower than the actual minimum wedge, I know nothing else about the position.

Can anyone whose been a waiter/waitress (Preferably waitress) tell me how tough and demanding it is and what all you have to do? (All details you know of no matter how small I'd love to hear) I've worked (still am) in a fast food joint for over half a year as a cook and have to do TONS including stuff besides cooking the food and making it quickly which is very demanding but I really enjoy it. So I'm wondering if this gives me an edge or helps me get such a position as waitress? Also, how likely is it for us trans folk to get a waitress job and is there any chance a joint will let you be a waitress without any waitressing experience? Maybe the fast food business is experience they're looking for? Any advice for getting a waitressing job?

Finally, because I'm a bit of an otaku (Not much just really love anime), by chance, how common/rare are Maid Cafe's? (It's roughly the same as being a waitress from my understanding)

I can tell you what it is like at my work, I'm not a server, as we call them there, but I know the job. At my place, you greet the customer first, sometimes you seat them sometimes there is a hostess who seats, then grab their drink orders. Grab their drinks then bring it back and check in to see if they are ready to order. Take their order if ready and ring it into the computer, sometimes telling the cooks ahead of time about an order (for example, well done steak). When the foods up grab it and bring it to them and check back in a short time afterwards to make sure everythings ok, the food tastes good, got napkins condiments etc. After done with food, check to see if want deserts or more drinks, if so get drinks and or make the deserts yourself and put in in the computer. Take away the used/finished plates. As they are about to leave, you cash them out, unless there is a hostess then you don't have to worry about it most likely. Before they end their shift, the servers must finish their clean-ups, sometimes, if it is slow, there are extra cleanups the boss will make them do.

Being a server is pretty demanding I think because you are on your feet the whole time and doing a ton of walking. Another tough area can be those ->-bleeped-<- can't please demanding customers; they're the reason why I never would want to be one cause it would drive me nuts. Some people just like to make you "run", you go there they ask for something, bring it they ask for something else, repeat, when they could've easily said it all at once. Then there are some who just like to complain and bitch hoping for a free or discounted meal. Some are just ->-bleeped-<-s and you will have to deal with them. Some also refuse to tip and as you mentioned, making 2.65 an hour, you are totally depending on tips to make any decent money, but you still have to be nice to them and serve them.

I think working in the food industry, even as a cook, would give you a little edge because you have some kind of experience but I think it would depend on where you apply for a job. If you are trying to get into the fancy place in town I imagine they would want or require someone to have some experience waitressing beforehand but if you are ok with any place, a smaller one might hire you.

As for the being trans and getting hired, I think it prolly depends on a few things: how passable you are, the owners/managers stance on it, etc. I know at my place they don't hardly ever allow males to be servers, they're sexist..., I think there has been like 5 males they've allowed do it compared to like 500 (no joking, possibly more even) females. I know they'd allow me to do it but I don't wanna. I've seen that the food industry has a super high turnover rate, people come and go all the time. At my place at least, it is VERY important that the managers like you or else you could be gone quite easily; I'm unreplaceable , so I can get away with quite a lot  .So if you do get a job just be prepared that you could get fired quite easily, if they don't like that your trans could just make any little excuse and poof you're gone.

As for advise in getting hired, I'd say the first thing would be to apply in many locations because as I said before, people come and go quite often so there could be openings available or there could be many people applying and waiting for some to become open. Also, I think it is a excellent idea to meet with the manager/owner/person who hires if you can when you get an app or when you are turning one in and make a good impression on them. That way, when a spot does open up, hopefully that person will remember you because they know you a bit and that will give you an advantage over just some random name on a piece of paper and an app alone. After putting one in, check in on the status of it as well within like a week, lets say, to show that you are really interested in getting a job and keep doing that for a lil bit afterwards as well.

Ok well that was super long lol, hope it helps, good luck 

Here's part of a post I wrote today in FTM Transsexual (in the thread about jobs that build muscle) about working banquets which is similiar to waitressing:

QuoteI used to work banquets. The pay can be decent. The hours can be really flexible (most gigs are Thursday/Friday nights and weekends).

It's tough work (I often went home with bloody feet since I tended to work 10-15 hour shifts typically with only one ten minute break), and it can help you build up a lot of muscle. You can start out carrying the lighter trays, and you work your way up to carrying more and more on your trays. By the time I left, I was carrying as much as the guys (and I wasn't on T).

(Warning though, I left because the tendons and ligaments in my wrist got ripped. Many people who do banquets for too long end up with wrist and back problems. We had a fairly high turnover rate due to injuries and people getting pissed off over the poor way employees are treated).

Banquets are really tough, and there's soooo many labor violations (at least where I worked).

I extremely briefly did waitressing at a casino restaurant, which had better labor standards. You still don't get much breaks, which can be hard on your feet/ankles. At the casino, you could take your 30 minute lunch break either at the very beginning of your shift, or the very end. You can't take it in the middle. Basically, you clock in and then go straight to the cafeteria, or you clock in then work and eat right before leaving.

In banqueting, the trays are very heavy because you're bringing out food for a table of 10-12 people and you're going to have at least 5 tables to serve between you and your other server. In banquets, you have A servers (stay in the front of the house and put the food on the table) and B servers, who bring the food from the back of the house for A to serve. A and B clear up together ad B takes the tray into the back for the dishwashers. When you're doing that for multiple courses, as a B server you get a lot of wear on your wrists. Then, there's set up and clean up, which involves carrying superheavy dinner plates from the carts to the tables to set up, doing the napkins, putting out the silverware, etc. I worked up to being a B server, but over time my wrists got so f--up, I almost needed surgery and had to go to therapy for it. Today, my wrist still hurts.

Banquets, I rarely got a break at all that lasted over 10-15 minutes. I kept granola bars in my tuxedo jacket inner pocket so I could munch while working (or I'd steal off the hor d'ourves tray).

For jobs like these, don't drink a lot of water before coming to work, and make sure you won't need to take a crap because you don't get breaks. Eat before you come to work and bring in pocket sized snacks. If you smoke, quit because you won't be able to go out for a drag (not like customers want to smell that on you anyways).

I had a lot of waitress jobs before transition, and for me it was the hardest work I ever had. It is physically demanding, which I liked, and your pay is better depending on your charisma, which I did not like. I have never been good at being charming on purpose. It is good in that there are always openings for servers somewhere, especially once you get some experience. For some of my jobs (due to sudden moves or trigger issues) I claimed to have no experience just so I wouldn't have to come up with dates and phone numbers, and that wasn't problematic as long as I was presentable and available and appeared trustworthy.

I found working banquets to be way less stressful than normal waitressing. There's less schmoozing necessary and less to memorize, though there do tend to be separate sets of rules and dress codes for each one, depending on the facility or caterer.

Waitressing can be super competitive, and other servers may help you out or pull dirty politics on you, depending on what friends you make.

I really liked that if I needed money I could simply work harder. Tips are so dependent on your own friendliness that you can plan your budget accordingly. I did not like how manipulative I felt sometimes.

I agree with the advice about being able to deal with long shifts and few breaks, and keeping food in your pockets. Lots of times I was given the option to take a break and did not because it would have meant either neglecting a table or pulling favors from fellow servers.

When I was a waitress, I was very stressed out but developed strong muscles that weren't much visible. I do have a burn scar from carrying hot plates on my arm. Generally, after working at one restaurant in a given town I could always get a job at another.

If you don't pass well, you could easily be fired without being able to prove that was why. I was never fired, but I spent almost a year getting awful shifts after rejecting the romantic advances of a manager. I definitely saw people let go for reasons I felt were unfair, but there are so many bigger problems in food service that are also barely addressed that I can't imagine trying to fight it.

I am not familiar with Maid Cafes, sorry.

QuoteI found working banquets to be way less stressful than normal waitressing. There's less schmoozing necessary and less to memorize, though there do tend to be separate sets of rules and dress codes for each one, depending on the facility or caterer.

That's the huge benefit of working banquets over regular waitressing. You don't get tips (except for occassion where you sometimes get people trying to show off their money and they stick some bills in your pockets after ordering you around), so your higher hourly rate reflects the tips you *should* normally be getting. I think sometimes you could make more at a decent restaurant doing tip-waitressing, but the reliability of always making the same amount is a huge benefit.

In a way, it is less stressful, because normally there's no menu. Everyone gets the same rolls, salad, wine choices, etc. The only thing you need to write down is what meal each person at your table is getting, since there's usually a choice between two and three plates, but that's easy. You do just need to memorize a variety of napkin folds, place settings (which can be really complicated depending on how many courses you're having), but at least you'll be able to throw a rockin' Edwardian style meal at your house one day since you'll know how everything is supposed to look.

I just have to further complain about doing cocktail and hor d'ourve hours at banquets though.

That's another horrible stressor for your wrists is walking around a room for an hour or so with steaming hot trays of heavy food with people picking at it from all sides. Cocktails are even worse, because it one person grabs at the tray wrong you risk loosing all the glasses. Guests are your worst enemy, they'll cause you to drop so many glasses because of their impatience or intoxication. And, God, if you're ever doing a buffet make sure no one ever, and I mean ever, tries to clean up after themselves. I once was doing a clam and lobster buffet, and it was full of people who clearly have never eaten upscale before, because they kept trying to bring their dirty plates over to the trays where we put the dirty dishes on before carrying them in back (hello, we're paid to clean up after you  ). The trays are supposed to be stacked a certain way, and everyone messed up the stacking and caused the tray to fall over, spewing leftover clam and lobster all over the carpet. It was disgusting and it stank for weeks despite repeated industrial carpet shampooing.

Yes lol I forgot to mention napkin-folding. I liked that part because I loved the monotony, but most people hate it and it can wreak hell on your wrists and hands. I don't know if it was situational or what, but I was also frequently clocked out behind my back when I was doing napkins at the end of a shift. Even while clocked in, you don't get tips for that time so there's pressure to be very fast at it. Same thing if you have to deal with condiments or other aspects of presentation.

Also I feel like most people weren't bothered by it, but there is a huge amount of drugs and alcohol use in a lot of waitstaff culture. If you are prone to addiction or bothered by the drama, that can be stressful.

And if you do become a waitress you should do your very best to be nice to back-of-the-house staff, especially the cooks. Personally my relationships with the spanish-speaking dishwashers and busboys were what made me even able to survive some of my restaurant jobs. For every 4 or 6 or 8 or 12 hours serving food to capricious guests, I had a few minutes of being silly or working on language stuff with the people in the back. Even if you hate your cooks, your life will be so much easier if you can forge alliances with them.

I can't speak about on the waitress side, but as far as Maid Cafes go, they seem to be pretty rare if you live in the USA.  I would say there's probably less than ten of them here, and one closed a few years ago.  I hope they catch on here in the future. 

I used to be waitress years ago while waiting to get Perm Resident Visa ..  worked at few Thai restaurants .. had to wear traditional Thai dress like this



had to greet customers & lead them to tables. did some cleaning, sometimes cleaned the dishes too. (i worked night shifts only)

had to be very polite, smiled all the times to customers (some customers were so annoying & arrogant, i wanted to slap their faces with the tray but i couldn't LMAO )

the paid was not good at all, hard work, had to be patient, calm & collected .. imo, i think it depends on which restaurants/places you want to do this job and the owner/boss is open-minded enough to accept trans to work with them.

Anyway, good luck to you !

Quote from: @Diana on May 11, 2014, 02:16:33 AM
(some customers were so annoying & arrogant, i wanted to slap their faces with the tray but i couldn't LMAO )

Never been a waiter/waitress - but I'm always as polite as possible to them, sometimes  they have to put up with some real a$$holes who treat them like a servant or worse.

I waitress some evenings. Pretty strange given my day job, but I did it partly as the extra money can't hurt but mostly I chose that as it puts you completely in the public eye. There is no hiding. I wanted to up my confidence in public in general and decided the best way is to jump in with both feet and really put myself into a place where there is no hiding, no shying away and learn not to fear the public. Strangely its working while I am there but I have felt no overall increase in confidence yet, but I only started a few weeks ago.

I suppose my point is, be aware that you are completely on display.

I been to waitor class so I speak from that experience.

I think the waitor/waitress job depends alot on where you are and what type of job you get. are you a waitor at a small cafe? or a popular resturant or serving for the queen/president?

in general its a demanding job without the biggest payment and it tend to be stressfull.

it require you can walk alot or can stand still for a long period without getting tired. Specially the standing still jobs are really hard but from my experience it mostly upperclass waitor jobs where you are put into that positions or special ocasions like serving for the king, or to this or that companys bithday bla bla.

if you have jobs at special ocasions then it can be VERY stressfull as it usunally all runs on time. waitress jobs are in general stressfull unless you work at a very unpopular place or only work 1 person at a early morning where theres nobody at work, but thats not really fun either.

personally I prefern low class waitorjobs at small cafees and so which I belive you would find most easy to get into. they usunally don't require so much experience in the subject as highclass waitor jobs do, and for me they seams more cozy and relaxed serving for than the upperclass where you are valued as less but expected more.

being transgender is not really that easy. the low class in general expect less but depending on where you are they may have rules or dresscodes on how you can and cant look, also depending on your gender theyre can be rules. exemple there a rule that you always serve the lady first unless the man got a higher persition than her. If you are stealth pass and look casual it may not be a problem, but if you in someway look abit outstanding it can be difficult. Even having another haircolour can make it difficult to get a job or make them want to fire you even in the lower class.
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So in general the job demand something like:

being able to handle stress, being active, being able to deal with crap from costumers,
being serviceminded, and looking "presentable" (which usunally mean fitting in the place dresscode vision on how they want you to look like, being trans is not really a + here), being able to balance thing on your arms.
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If you want to work with a waitor job but dont have any experience then I think you need to get it,
Waitorclass like the one I went to are pretty rare and hardcore, but you can also take free jobs working somewhere for a period of time without payments and then either they will hire you afterward or you can go look for a job and say you had experience in this subject before.

For the point of maid cafe. I been working on a may cafe for a animecon. it was volunteery with no payment but fun to try even when there acceptence of transgender wasnt that big. you can try see if there some convensions who got maid cafes in your area. I think general these kind of theam cafes are rare. In japan
they got them with payments and if you are white, you may even go under a gaijin categori, but in the western world it not common as far I know..