-waves frantically- HELLO!

So I'm getting closer and closer to starting my transition just my doctor is rather good so he's very busy and I have to wait quite long between each appointment which sucks but oh well. He's worth it, he's been fantastic for me.

I'm pretty much cool with everything, I accept who I am, even happy being trans! Cause it's just how I was born, inconvenient but still not bad. But there is one thing I am still very nervous about and would love to hear some experiences and views from you guys.

The first time you went out in public as the "correct" gender. Or first couple of times or maybe you plan to do the first attempt soon?
Cause awww maw gawd...... Just..... Phew for me I think my first time going out in public as a woman will be a long way off but I still want to prepare and how can you grow the balls to do that? Do you bring a friend? Like thats the biggest part for me. I'd want to be safe and all that and it'd be weird going out alone. But the biggest problem I'd have is like....... Meeting a friend I've known for ages and I'm dressed up as the opposite gender their used to.

Just would love to hear some first experiences and views and shizzle!

I dressed for a Therapy appointment and drove 120 miles by myself. I had such a positive experience I went full time that day! Nothing like diving into the deep end.

I will have to admit that I was scared sh*tless at first.  I felt like a shaven ape in a dress and pretty much looked like one too, but I knew that the hormones and laser treatments were already helping, and eventually I'd have to own my female presentation.

The first time I found the courage to even go out my front door was probably a week or two after starting E.  That day my wife had a lot of groceries to unload from the car and needed help, so out the door I went in a cute studded black skirt.  I started opening the curtains in my den and hanging out with my wife on my front porch that week as well, so neighbors could start seeing me.

The next weekend my wife drive me around town in full girl mode.  I never got out of the car, but it was quite liberating.  Nobody looked at me funny like I had expected.

The week after that, my therapist double dog dared me to show up in girl mode.  I was nervous as all hell, but her office is in West Hollywood.  I don't think anyone there cares if there's a guy in a dress.  If people there batted eyes every time they saw something out of the ordinary, all anyone would ever do would be eye batting.

The following weekend my wife and I spent the weekend in San Diego.  I took both girl and guy clothes, but left the house in a black dress.  That night was my first night out as the real me.  I was super nervous and my mannerisms were quite affected, I was clocked right and left and one a*hole at the hotel bar even thought it would be great to stare, point and laugh.  We went out for dinner that night with two other transwomen at a gay-friendly restaurant where transfolk were very welcome.  The next night we went out to dinner at a busy steakhouse where I got more funny looks.  It was the first time I used the ladies' room.  No big deal, actually.

After that weekend, I began to venture out occasionally, starting with restaurants that I didn't go to often and at which I wouldn't be recognized.  It got easier every time, and my feminine mannerisms and voice began to really shine through.  I was PASSING.  I started to really hate guy clothes at that point and my growing breasts started to poke through my shirts.  I felt much more comfy in girl clothes in public at that point and decided to try going full time to see if it was even a possibility.  I never wore male clothes again after only 8 weeks of E and 2 laser sessions, then came out via facebook.

I had gone out alone and late at night when nobody could see me. The first time I went out to face other people though was to a trans support group and that was months before I started hrt. I gave myself like 4 hours to get ready because I thought "if this is the only time I ever do this then I'm going to go all out." I gave had over an hour to just sit in the car and prepare myself. I remember starring at all the people and wondering what they must think of me.

This would also be the first time out during daylight and the first time my SO would see me dressed and stuff when I got home.

Of course nothing happened and it was a support group, but still, it was real enough. I have gone several times now. I only recently started going other places. The gay bars are mostly fine. Or meet a friend for dinner. Things like that. I have a long way to go but I'm getting there. Nobody has ever been rude to me but I do feel like everybody notices me. Oh well. My nerves settle down quickly and I let my role just kind of take over and enjoy things.

I don't go solo yet and I don't go where I might see somebody I know. My girlfriend has expressed an interest in going places together, so that's something. At least she is willing to be seen in public with lol.

I'd suggest small trips I to places you know are safe and feel comfortable. Nothing wrong with meeting a friend, but probably better they see you before you go out in public otherwise they might be so effusive when they see you you might feel a bit self conscious. My first time (this transition) was to visit my counsellor, I walked to the train station via the shopping mall and caught the train, so it was quite public and in broad daylight. It went really well! The next few times were evening adventures to go out with friends and so forth, all fairly safe but gave me experience dealing with people in public. Dress naturally, don't overdress (or, y'know, underdress) because that will draw a lot of attention, some of it decidedly unwanted - and not because you are trans.

Good luck!

To get to all these places, therapy appointment, transgender support group you have to go through public spaces Dx.

Oh dear me.... But yea really thanks for sharing them cause I just wanted some where to go before I would present in front of my friends honestly. I can handle abuse and the such, people looking at me or laughing, but not in front of my friends...... And I'd just be like a bull on ice with too many things to worry about. So yea I think going to my therapy session presenting and to maybe some sort of support group would be ideal for me personally. Because It's not what strangers think or say I worry about or even people who know of me like a next door neighbour. It's being embarrassed in front of people close to me that terrifies me. I'm told I'm a very dominate person so thats most likely why..... I can't handle the thought of my crown being taken away. Lol.

But honestly I've yet to even put on any of the clothes i'd like to..... Mainly because I use excuses I've just noticed 0-0 Like I've not started my transition yet! Or I don't want people in my house to see me like that yet bla bla bla. So guess it's time to order a nice outfit and a wig cause..... It'll help. My hair won't help paint a pretty picture, not yet anyway. And then who knows. I might look lovely! And if I don't I'll worry about it then. Currently I think I'm thinking a step ahead than I should be.

Would still love to hear more experiences other peeps have had though.

Oh quick additional note. Jill F. Every post I've read one of yours you just come off as a badass chick who has bucket loads of courage to spare. So send me a bucket yea?!

My first few times out were all to a local drag queen bar. Somewhere I could be myself without really worrying much.

The first time I went anywhere else it was to the grocery store. It was a 10 minute walk to get there and a 10 minute walk to get home. I lived in the entertainment/fashion district, so I knew I was walking through a very liberal part of the city. Didn't matter, I was scared just the same. I speed walked quite a bit, did a lot of ground staring, and tried not to interact with anyone. I went through checkout (there wasn't a self-checkout at the time at this store) smiling and nodding without saying a word. Payed by credit card ... thank god for chip cards!

When I got home I was exhilarated. I did it! I ventured outside to do everyday things. Unscathed, unharmed, and from what I could tell of the ground's reaction unnoticed And so glad to be home out of the "danger".

Quote from: Blue Rabbit on May 12, 2014, 10:47:43 PM
Oh quick additional note. Jill F. Every post I've read one of yours you just come off as a badass chick who has bucket loads of courage to spare. So send me a bucket yea?!

I know Jill and she is actually a badass chick!! 

My first time in public I got brave and went big (I didn't yet know that Eva's style is "fearless").  I was working in San Diego on a long term job assignment and I had met two bigender friends that lived in San Diego from another forum that I used to frequent. One of the persons suggested that we do a "girls night out" the next time we met which was all I needed to hear to trip me hardcore into girl mode. The day arrived and I was a nervous wreck, but Eva had a steely eyed determination to go out and she faced down her fears and marched right out that door. We met at a bar called Urban Mo's which is a well known gay bar in the Hillcrest section of SD. I can't believe what I did that night - I had to get out of my hotel, walk down 4 flights of steps, drive to the bar, park two blocks away, and walk past a sidewalk cafe full of people that would be staring at me - all while wearing 4" heels. And I did it.

After we had been in the bar for about half an hour I realized that I had completely forgotten how I was dressed and that I was sitting in full public view in a bar dressed as a woman - and it felt completely NORMAL.

Then we went to another bar and I had to walk a few blocks in those heels. Again, it just felt normal.

Well, the genie was sure out of the lamp by then! LOL...... There were many more firsts after that, but now going out as Eva is....... completely normal. Its boy mode that feels weird to me now.

Quote from: Eva Marie on May 12, 2014, 11:31:34 PM
After we had been in the bar for about half an hour I realized that I had completely forgotten how I was dressed and that I was sitting in full public view in a bar dressed as a woman - and it felt completely NORMAL.

While I wasn't able to let go of my self-consciousness my first time to the grocery store, I was able to on my second time, and then my later trips to go shopping, or to friends' places, or to fanexpo, ... and it was exactly like this. Things felt normal and how they should be.

The first time I went out in public was when I was 16. Me and my girlfriend at the time (yes I did have a girlfriend at one point in my life)spent a day in Atlanta. I can't remember all we did but I do recall some shocked faces of some old people at a Wendy's. But that could have been because we probably looked like a lesbian couple. 

First time I went out with friends for dinner. It first involved me walking to the train station then catching a bus to her place at early afternoon. Followed by another bus and train and finaly a taxi to reach our destination, (Oh the joys of not driving). As Grace said dress appropriatley for what you are doing (how many people do you see wearing shorts and a singlet top at a funeral?)

Also even if you are with friends pick a place where you are comfortable. If you don't like bars don't go to a bar, if you don't feel up to going out to a resturant don't. Self confidence for you is the key here and baby steps is what important

Quote from: Blue Rabbit on May 12, 2014, 10:44:04 PM
To get to all these places, therapy appointment, transgender support group you have to go through public spaces Dx.

Well, yeah, I mean you do get seen. But if you're just driving or walking or whatever, people don't seem to really care. The first time I went to a restaurant a family of like 10 million were leaving and I had to walk right through their entire crowd. I was like, of course this is what would happen. But what can you do? Suck it up and smile and say excuse me and get on with it. You're not going to turn around and run away screaming DON'T LOOK AT ME!

Quote from: Eva Marie on May 12, 2014, 11:31:34 PM
After we had been in the bar for about half an hour I realized that I had completely forgotten how I was dressed and that I was sitting in full public view in a bar dressed as a woman - and it felt completely NORMAL.

Yes, this. I don't have a female ID yet so that part always sucks.

First " 10 Min walk to my Doctor
Second  -  20 Min walk for my psych refferal

Those only times iv  been out alone. Im having problembs with soloing a crowd if im not sure the destination has a shoulder to cry on or an ear to talk to if anything happens.

First time I went en femme, was for my second therapy session.
I chickened and went by car instead using the public transportation.
Not ready for that yet.
Anyway, expect to get clocked and be prepared mentally to deal with it.
Something only you can do.
I got clocked and tried not care but still did.
That said, being clocked didn't kill me.
My experience in broad day light, so far, is about 800m only in 2 different occasions.
I walked in heels/flats around my block a countless number of times in the dead of the night.

It takes courage to go out in femne when you know you are not passable.

There you go some pics of me in femme. Only one in guy mode.
http://s102.photobucket.com/user/sonia274/library/?sort=3&page=1

Sonia