my transitioning plans are put on hold until i find a new therapist. starting to hate my life right now

Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 03:11:42 PM
I just found out that yet another friend of mine recently passed away.  I don't know too many details, but I have a pretty good guess as to what happened.

Really sucks doesn't it hon? ((Hugs))

Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 03:11:42 PM
I just found out that yet another friend of mine recently passed away.  I don't know too many details, but I have a pretty good guess as to what happened.

"Multiple drug intoxication."  I suppose it's pretty irrelevent as to which ones they were now.  Probable suicide due to the fact his longtime girlfriend unexpectedly dumped him two days before.  I swear my list of departed friends is getting far too long for my taste.  It always seems to be either drugs or suicide, too.

An unspoken issue.

I'm having a privacy freakout due to a dating site that due to reading data from FB, old hotmail contacts, etc, is linking everybody through a "you are linked to this person by means of this one". And then I saw my brother, info taken from his FB profile, but linked across his email address stored in my old mail account which I used for the dating site.

I have a major issue, and it is that I did not build a new identity from scratch. My google account and microsoft one remain, and have far too many important services connected, specially the microsoft certifications

Quote from: Julia (Apple-Whatever) on May 13, 2014, 05:11:44 PM
I'm having a privacy freakout due to a dating site that due to reading data from FB, old hotmail contacts, etc, is linking everybody through a "you are linked to this person by means of this one". And then I saw my brother, info taken from his FB profile, but linked across his email address stored in my old mail account which I used for the dating site.

I have a major issue, and it is that I did not build a new identity from scratch. My google account and microsoft one remain, and have far too many important services connected, specially the microsoft certifications

Too bad, Google and Facebook are the most privacy intrusive sites on the face of the earth, more so than America's National Security Agency.

Was at Starbucks with my spouse talking to a lady friend and suddenly she went off about transexuals and went on and on. I didn't say anything, just let her mouth overload her ass. Kinda sad though how self righteously perfect she is in her own eyes that she could make such judgments about others, hope she likes it where it's hot!

I am just soo...  I had my second Endo appt today.  Tho I told him, in my first appt three weeks ago, I decided to revert, to keep my family (that's another post), and that I was on herbs for 7months, (he said, they don't work..  Well, I didn't get these boobs eating carrots, 'mate).  I wanted to go on a low dose/micro dose to balance me, ease this pain inside, especially now that I had stopped my herb program (3 weeks ago).  He said I have to work out my social aspect before he will give me anything, "so come back in a month".   

He would not give me anything.  I am beyond ...  distraught, upset, bummed, I cried leaving the office.  even tho I had stopped, I still..  wanted..  needed..   my mind, is so messed up.    I'll show him, I still have a months worth of my herb program left.  The AndroEase and Feminol will take the edge off, I will have them to fall back on, to stay with them to low-dose cope. 

I was so hoping to get real E, to sleep, to ease this pain inside, to stop this battle, between good, and evil.

A month.. a month of little sleep, aches, headaches, anger, anxiety, rage.

Quote from: Paula Christine on May 13, 2014, 09:55:05 PMI am just soo...  I had my second Endo appt today.  Tho I told him, in my first appt three weeks ago, I decided to revert, to keep my family (that's another post), and that I was on herbs for 7months, (he said, they don't work..  Well, I didn't get these boobs eating carrots, 'mate).  I wanted to go on a low dose/micro dose to balance me, ease this pain inside, especially now that I had stopped my herb program (3 weeks ago).  He said I have to work out my social aspect before he will give me anything, "so come back in a month".   

He would not give me anything.  I am beyond ...  distraught, upset, bummed, I cried leaving the office.  even tho I had stopped, I still..  wanted..  needed..   my mind, is so messed up.    I'll show him, I still have a months worth of my herb program left.  The AndroEase and Feminol will take the edge off, I will have them to fall back on, to stay with them to low-dose cope. 

I was so hoping to get real E, to sleep, to ease this pain inside, to stop this battle, between good, and evil.

A month.. a month of little sleep, aches, headaches, anger, anxiety, rage.

Sounds like your endo is trying to play psychologist. I had the same experience. It't not his call, it's your therapist's. If you don't have a therapist and are doing informed consent, it's still not his call. Try to find a new endo, if possible. I got so tired of mine telling me to come back in 2-3 months for this reason or that, even with a letter from a therapist, that I said screw it and sought a new one.

Jill I'm so sorry.

And I relate. watching people destroy themselves is so freaking hard.

Well, my session with my therapist had to be re-scheduled for Thursday, so that was a bummer :p

Apart from that extreme sleeping problems have put a general damper on everything.

I'm so sick of working on projects I care nothing about.  Having to face class from 8-430 only to have to come home and do work for this stupid student film was just not working for me.... Then I ate too much chili and had to take a walk... and then I came home and felt sick and then I got maybe 10 mins of work done and now here I am... too tired and frustrated to bother.

More work for tomorrow.....

I'll be laid off as of July 11th. I guess to experience the depraved and degrading spectacle of job hunting as a trans woman.

Quote from: Constance on May 14, 2014, 05:21:49 PM
I'll be laid off as of July 11th. I guess to experience the depraved and degrading spectacle of job hunting as a trans woman.

Do you know why? If it's because you're trans then contact the HR department and inform them of the matter AND the law. Also contact the EEOC and speak to them if it's a matter of you being trans. Just because the laws don't specify "can't discriminate  based on gender identity /expression" doesn't mean they aren't breaking the law because they are. It's because of the "based on sex" art. Others have taken their discrimination based on this to court and have won. 1 I heard even won twice in a row but the person who didn't like losing is trying to take it to the supreme court. Basically the EEOC deals with this sort of issue and is on our side. (I know, spoke to them though luckfully I didn't have to follow through with them)

Hang in there and best of luck.

the panda made me unhappy. he stole my cookies!

Quote from: Shana-chan on May 14, 2014, 05:28:25 PM
Do you know why? If it's because you're trans then contact the HR department and inform them of the matter AND the law. Also contact the EEOC and speak to them if it's a matter of you being trans. Just because the laws don't specify "can't discriminate  based on gender identity /expression" doesn't mean they aren't breaking the law because they are. It's because of the "based on sex" art. Others have taken their discrimination based on this to court and have won. 1 I heard even won twice in a row but the person who didn't like losing is trying to take it to the supreme court. Basically the EEOC deals with this sort of issue and is on our side. (I know, spoke to them though luckfully I didn't have to follow through with them)

Hang in there and best of luck.

Hmm, I should've said the majority of the support team will be laid off.

My employer, Epocrates, was bought last year by athenahealth and they want to consolidate all support into their call center in Maine. So, this isn't a trans thing as a whole bunch of my cis coworkers are getting shafted too.

***WARNING- THIS IS HEAVILY DEPRESSING SH*T BUT I HAD TO VENT IT***

Quote from: Jill F on May 13, 2014, 05:05:09 PM
"Multiple drug intoxication."  I suppose it's pretty irrelevent as to which ones they were now.  Probable suicide due to the fact his longtime girlfriend unexpectedly dumped him two days before.  I swear my list of departed friends is getting far too long for my taste.  It always seems to be either drugs or suicide, too.

Well, I got more details from my departed friend's cousin today, and I have to say I'm angry, sad and more than a bit depressed over it.  My old friend had a major drug and alcohol problem for many years, and finally got clean for real about a dozen years ago.  He had fought off so many demons and we were all grateful that he was no longer a danger to himself or others.  Apparently he was in a pretty serious motorcycle accident about a year ago and sustained injuries that prevented him from working as a contractor ever since.  He became addicted to prescription painkillers, xanax and who knows what else, then relapsed on the booze.  His girlfriend of many years, with whom he had an eight year old daughter told him enough was enough and finally left him earlier this week.  He was found dead by his brother alongside empty pill bottles that he had washed down with hard liquor.  Apparently this did not come as a surprise.

I feel so bad for his daughter that he apparently adored so much that I can't stop crying right now.  I really feel more for her than I do for him.  I hope she will be OK and not get permanently f***ed up in the head like my niece did when my brother-in-law died.

What a bastard.  If you were here to b*tchslap I'd be doing it repeatedly, you GDMFSOB.

Quote from: Constance on May 14, 2014, 05:34:02 PM
Hmm, I should've said the majority of the support team will be laid off.

My employer, Epocrates, was bought last year by athenahealth and they want to consolidate all support into their call center in Maine. So, this isn't a trans thing as a whole bunch of my cis coworkers are getting shafted too.

I see. Well, as I said, best of luck and hang in there!

I noticed a member that I genuinely liked and considered a friend on here has closed their account for good after leaving for a few months.  I'm not sure when they closed their account or why all this even happened (and I rather stay out of things that aren't my business), but I just realized today that they are gone for good.  For me, it's a bit upsetting.   I don't know. I really appreciated everything they've done while they were here as well as their good will towards me.  At the end of the day, I was hoping they would come back and relationships could be healed, but things happen and life moves on.  I'm just hoping they are doing okay and it makes me a little sad.

I just think this is something to remember.  Appreciate the people in your life because they may not be around forever.  It makes me think of things I could have said or done differently with all the people I've ever interacted with in my past. 

P.S.  Out of respect and privacy, I will avoid using their name and will apologize in advance if this is an unwanted post.  I just wanted to wish them well and thank them for all they've done for me while here (as well as apologize for all the headaches I've likely created, lol).

Was walking into target as a girl about my age, mid-twenties, was walking out. She had this absolutely cute dress and sandals on. She just looked cute and comfortable and content and natural and most of all HAPPY! I almost had to turn around and walk out, I felt like I got punched in the gut. Not fair! I want to be wearing a cute dress in this weather!