Quote from: RockerGirl on May 14, 2014, 10:23:20 PM
Was walking into target as a girl about my age, mid-twenties, was walking out. She had this absolutely cute dress and sandals on. She just looked cute and comfortable and content and natural and most of all HAPPY! I almost had to turn around and walk out, I felt like I got punched in the gut. Not fair! I want to be wearing a cute dress in this weather!

Envy eats up your soul, don't worry your time will come and things will be better!

Quote from: RockerGirl on May 14, 2014, 10:23:20 PM
Was walking into target as a girl about my age, mid-twenties, was walking out. She had this absolutely cute dress and sandals on. She just looked cute and comfortable and content and natural and most of all HAPPY! And the she farted, I almost had to turn around and walk out, I felt like I got punched in the gut. Not fair! I want to be wearing a cute dress in this weather!

LOL... Sorry... Being bad 

But seriously, who doesn't feel a bit jealous of cute young girls who trot about? I imagine (know because I've heard them talk about it) many elder genetic women look upon them with envy as well

Yeah, envy is a big nasty monster and it'll chew up your guts and other internal organs. I used to feed my little internal troll something fierce and it just made me miserable - these days I see a pretty woman/girl and I just think "you look stunning/cute/gorgeous, I'm so happy for you". Seriously, it kills the envy monster and makes you feel so much better about yourself in the process.

have to wait another 2 weeks before i can start HRT -.- at least that elusive letter isnt as elusive anymore

Stress!!

Quote from: Constance on May 14, 2014, 05:34:02 PM
Hmm, I should've said the majority of the support team will be laid off.

My employer, Epocrates, was bought last year by athenahealth and they want to consolidate all support into their call center in Maine. So, this isn't a trans thing as a whole bunch of my cis coworkers are getting shafted too.

Now I'm conflicted, I love Epocrates and this makes me want to uninstall it!

Quote from: Dee Marshall on May 15, 2014, 10:16:00 AM
Now I'm conflicted, I love Epocrates and this makes me want to uninstall it!

I've been somewhat expecting this lay off since before the acquisition by athenahealth.

Some years ago I was told that since I was near the top of the pay scale for tech support that I would never see another merit increase, even though the costs of living increase continually. This year I actually got a raise. I was really surprised.

This is just business as usual in a for-profit corporation. The execs at the top earn vast amounts of money but when the stock dips the persons at the bottom of the pyramid are the first to go.

Just ago, my biological age became 50, as I was born between 2 and 3 AM in Seoul local time. I am sad.

barbie~~

This feeling I have is akin to PMS, which would make sense given that I haven't had hormones in over 48 hours due to bureaucratic red medical tape.
I wonder if it has anything to do with my sudden craving for pancakes. I hate breakfast foods, especially not at breakfast!

Quote from: barbie on May 15, 2014, 12:33:37 PM
Just ago, my biological age became 50, as I was born between 2 and 3 AM in Seoul local time. I am sad.

barbie~~

Don't be sad, you have a long way to go yet, cheer up and know that you have graced these pages here at Susan's in remarkably beautiful style and we here are all happy that you were born and we are happy to know you as much as we are able. Happy Birthday Barbie Doll!

my dang therapist's office seems to be closed on thurdays. couldnt reach him all day which is agitating 

Being called my preferred name but then also being called "he", "sir" etc. This happened to me at work today and while this typically happens, it never happens from 2-3 people in a row, let alone from the boss. -_- (Typically no one calls me sir but, today someone who doesn't work there came to inspect stuff and called me sir..)

I'm losing my cool and am getting very angry over this ->-bleeped-<-. I've already spoken to HR like 4 times now and will shortly be speaking to them once more, basically saying, are they even doing anything and if so, are they even taking this seriously? It just makes no sense how they went from called me by my birth name to my preferred name like in a snap of a finger yet they can't do this for the proper pronouns and quit falling back on my name instead of using pronouns?

Besides that and another incident at work which upset me (Won't say), it's been a good day but this is getting on my LAST nerve! ^_^'

Well, lest I can now dig into my left over Taco Bell and dig I shall. 

You shouldn't feel this way about family, but sometimes I truly hate my dad. The past few days he's been so negative, and he was talking to my brother about working with people with disabilities (my dad has for a long time now), and talking about everyone being "idiots." He called a supervisor a "b*", and he called one of the disabled girls "this chick" over and over again. In a really degrading tone. And then goes on, as if he is an expert in medication, about how these people should just be heavily medicated. Yes, in some cases medication is absolutely 100% necessary (and it is in the case of this particularly violent client), but the way he phrased it, he wants them to just be drooling invalids.

And if it's not that, there's always SOMEONE at work who is "bullying" him. He's always plotting and sending emails in these passive-aggressive little struggles. And because he's so busy plotting and mumbling to himself (constantly!) he ignores everything around him. My dog barked right in his face, for about a minute, non-stop...he ignored her completely and she peed all over the floor. Then he comes downstairs today and something smells bad and he starts mumbling about how I'm supposedly letting the dogs pee everywhere and whatever. I LISTEN to the dog. I PAY ATTENTION to the dog. She never pees or poops in the house when I am home. But he can blatantly ignore her, and leave the pee and poop for someone else to pick up because he doesn't think he should have to do it.

jfc I can't wait to move out. I hope jobs start calling back. Whenever he's around I get so full of anxiety because he's a mentally sick ticking time bomb.

Quote from: birkin on May 15, 2014, 05:21:28 PM
You shouldn't feel this way about family, but sometimes I truly hate my dad. The past few days he's been so negative, and he was talking to my brother about working with people with disabilities (my dad has for a long time now), and talking about everyone being "idiots." He called a supervisor a "b*", and he called one of the disabled girls "this chick" over and over again. In a really degrading tone. And then goes on, as if he is an expert in medication, about how these people should just be heavily medicated. Yes, in some cases medication is absolutely 100% necessary (and it is in the case of this particularly violent client), but the way he phrased it, he wants them to just be drooling invalids.

And if it's not that, there's always SOMEONE at work who is "bullying" him. He's always plotting and sending emails in these passive-aggressive little struggles. And because he's so busy plotting and mumbling to himself (constantly!) he ignores everything around him. My dog barked right in his face, for about a minute, non-stop...he ignored her completely and she peed all over the floor. Then he comes downstairs today and something smells bad and he starts mumbling about how I'm supposedly letting the dogs pee everywhere and whatever. I LISTEN to the dog. I PAY ATTENTION to the dog. She never pees or poops in the house when I am home. But he can blatantly ignore her, and leave the pee and poop for someone else to pick up because he doesn't think he should have to do it.

jfc I can't wait to move out. I hope jobs start calling back. Whenever he's around I get so full of anxiety because he's a mentally sick ticking time bomb.

Birkin, your dad is such a Neanderthal! I don't know if you remember Archie Bunker, you can google it, anyway your dad has him beat by a mile for being a real jerk! Sorry hon, you deserved so much better for a male role model, at least you know how you refuse to be and what you will not emulate.

Got my priorities messed up really bad today. Should have been shower, eat, look for a job, pick up my prescription, eat again, keep looking for a job, eat, chill, eat again if I'm hungry, sleep.

Instead it was shower, play Civ4 all day, oh look it's 8 in the afternoon, better eat.

Quote from: Shantel on May 15, 2014, 05:36:22 PM
Birkin, your dad is such a Neanderthal! I don't know if you remember Archie Bunker, you can google it, anyway your dad has him beat by a mile for being a real jerk! Sorry hon, you deserved so much better for a male role model, at least you know how you refuse to be and what you will not emulate.

Thanks Auntie Shan. It's just his way of dealing with his problems, I guess, and sadly it isn't going to get him far. It does make me more conscious though of how my emotions affect others, since his negative emotions impact the people around him so much.

Quote from: birkin on May 15, 2014, 07:44:20 PMThanks Auntie Shan. It's just his way of dealing with his problems, I guess, and sadly it isn't going to get him far. It does make me more conscious though of how my emotions affect others, since his negative emotions impact the people around him so much.

I know it's a long way so it won't mean much, but my apartment has two empty rooms, albeit without water or power, so if you need just a few days to get away, even though it's far, I'm always willing to take you in.

Quote from: Lauren5 on May 15, 2014, 07:48:36 PM
I know it's a long way so it won't mean much, but my apartment has two empty rooms, albeit without water or power, so if you need just a few days to get away, even though it's far, I'm always willing to take you in.

That's sweet of you Lauren, very thoughtful and kind!

Quote from: Lauren5 on May 15, 2014, 07:48:36 PM
I know it's a long way so it won't mean much, but my apartment has two empty rooms, albeit without water or power, so if you need just a few days to get away, even though it's far, I'm always willing to take you in.

Thanks Lauren. Who knows, maybe one day I'll be hitting the road lol. There have been times (when I had money anyway) where I almost just hopped a plane and took a vacation for a week. Never ended up doing it but got damn close.

Just realised I forgot to take my pills last night.