What doubts or fears did you have? Or did you feel nothing but excitement/anticipation?

Absolutely sure.

Then for the first and second shot I think, I would be like "Am I sure? Should I really do this? What if it's all in my head?" and then I'd remember all the pain and misery. It was the right decision for me.

I was on the fence for quite a long time. My biggest fears were not about me and the changes that I would go through, but rather about my family and coworkers and how transitioning at this point in my life would change things. I sat for almost an hour with the first shot in my hand playing out every scenario I could think of. Finally I just took a deep breath and did it.

Mostly though, I was excited.

Quote from: Polo on May 15, 2014, 10:15:17 PM
What doubts or fears did you have? Or did you feel nothing but excitement/anticipation?

I was both excited, scared, but also had doubts. I think it's normal to have doubts--this is a huge change. 

Never had any.  I waited for it my entire life, so it was a relief.

I was pretty sure of myself and I thought it over for a very long time, but of course there were (and still are, it's only been a day, haha) doubts. I think that's normal, considering you can't be sure of what exactly is going to happen to your body. I think it all comes down to "is this what I want, even if everything doesn't turn out exactly how I envision it?"

I was about 95% sure. When I got that letter in my hand and I had to wait that night before giving it to my dr I had a few mental hiccups. The normal, is it all in my head? Will I be able to do this the rest of my life? But that first shot pretty much summed it all up for me. I knew I was a guy for so long and looking back even when I presented female, it never felt as right as I am now, being who I was meant to be born as. And the changes so far have been pretty exciting and great.

By the time I went on T, I was mostly sure and have been completely sure since starting. I was afraid it wouldn't work and that I'd look female forever. I was also very excited and couldn't wait to start.

I was sure I wanted to start, but also scared -- it felt like jumping off a cliff. By the time I actually did start, I was excited, impatient, and still anxious. It still felt like jumping off a cliff, but with a safety net. (I have a very good therapist. )

I think if anything, I was more anxious about injecting myself than I was about the T.

I had a period of debate because there are some changes on T I didn't particularly want- increased sex drive and change in clit size. But everything else I did want and the pros outweighed the cons. 3 weeks in I'm so happy and sure.

what doubts are you having, Polo? do you want to talk about it? (crap, I sound like a therapist )

Lol you DO sound like a therapist Christopher, but thank you for asking

My main doubts stem from fear of making permanent changes only to feel differently later on down the line (irrational and unlikely) and fear of what T will do to my fertility. I really want a child of my own genetics (through a surrogate) in about 5-8+ years... But it's something I'm sure I will talk about with my doctor.

My current plan is to go on a low dose anyway since I already "pass" most of the time, hopefully too low to do damage to anything... Any one have experience in this?