Due to pressure from my Wife I have started to Detransition Today .I have just had my first aplication of Testosterone Gel.I could not contemplate life without her and this was the only way to keep the Marriage alive and happy .Maybe I will be able to talk her round at a later date but being reletively newlyweds the sex side of our relationship is very important to her and I was totaly impotent due to eostrogen and she was very very unhappy about It. .Now I am sad but that is life as they say must go on

Anita that was but is no longer

Jeeze, that's tough Anita. 

Clearly you love and need your wife very much. If she is hetro and needs/wants sex with a male bodied person it's understandable she'd make that demand for the relationship/marriage to continue. But do you, as the woman within that body, feel you can comply though? Your happiness is just as important - so I hope you can work something out.

Anita- sorry to hear you have had to make such a hard decision

I can't help but wonder, is it because of being female or is it purely hormonal? If solely the latter, you may want to talk to your endocrinologist.. I know there are methods out there that will allow you to retain sexual function and still transition. Sorry if I am beating it into the bush, just figured I would mention if it helps.

Mostly I'm just glad you are doing what will make you the happiest. That is all that really matters regardless of gender

I read an article today about the things people wish during end of life care and the top thing was essentially "I wish I had done more of what I wanted to and less of what was expected of me." Followed closely by "I wish I had been happier." None of us will presume to make your choices for you...and we all know that they aren't easy ones to make. Just don't forget that you are also a wonderful and unique person that deserves to live a full and authentic life. (((hugs)))

I'm really sorry Anita I know this is a difficult decision you must really love your wife. But is this your decision or hers? Your keeping your marriage alive but will it be happy? Now I understand your wife doesn't want to be with a woman I understand her point of view. But I want to understand how you feel about this? Can you spend the rest of your life as a man and be happy with that? A marriage takes both people to be successful and I'm more concerned that this is not your decision and your just doing this to make her happy. Which is good to keep your partner happy but bad because it can lead to resentment and eventually hurt the marriage. I do hope it all works out for you and you find some happiness in this life.

I can't advise what's the right decision,only you can make that.My experience was that in 1979 I planned to transition but got cold feet and put it off to stay with my girlfriend.She dumped me 7 months later as I'd turned into a permanantly pissed off monster.It never goes away and one day I had to transition

i understand your situation but did you see a doctor about Viagra it works and unless you have another problem ,i take estrogen and have for many years ,i also get a testosterone shot every 2 weeks ,my breast started growing in my 20's when i had low T and started the shots along with some prescription meds for ulcers ,i am not impotent and still love a woman ,the fact that i have very large breast has caused my x wife to leave me due to being ashamed to be seen with me around her friends, i do not want surgery to remove my breast so i wear a bra every day and no problem,i hope you can save your marriage go see a doc for your ED problem estrogen alone will not kill your desire my doc has told me i possibly have the xy chromosome and is monitoring my estrogen.

Sorry for your situation.. I would say as a lesbian, if she really needs that type of sex, there are more than ample devices that make it ten times better than it ever was... think "always up, always on" in whatever sizes you or she likes lol... but the other thing is that you will resent her for this. That will be difficult to live with, and even more difficult to hide from her.

Quote from: Spiritwlker on May 16, 2014, 03:57:57 AM
I read an article today about the things people wish during end of life care and the top thing was essentially "I wish I had done more of what I wanted to and less of what was expected of me." Followed closely by "I wish I had been happier." None of us will presume to make your choices for you...and we all know that they aren't easy ones to make. Just don't forget that you are also a wonderful and unique person that deserves to live a full and authentic life. (((hugs)))

I definately second Spiritwlker on this.

Yeah I am selfish in that I want to live my own life and be incontrol of my own destiny. Yes I walked away from a longtime marriage in which she loved who she married but not so much who I really am and could never be around her. Yes it hurt me too 'cause I did love her. I am in no way trying to change your decision "cause that is up to you but rather just telling you those feelings of longing to be female will probably never go away. I thought they might but all they got was stronger.