Susan's Place Logo

News:

Please be sure to review The Site terms of service, and rules to live by

Main Menu

Gaslighted

Started by Tori, May 17, 2014, 09:36:04 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Tori

Wow!

Just had my first real bad female/trans experience, and I have been brutally beaten. They were just an animal. This was different.

I just had someone, a computer Admin, try to erase my past, and make me look/feel crazy. The term for that is Gaslighting, after a classic movie. Thank God I have a brain. It looks like people believe me and not him. Even though there is no proof.

Now ladies, this is the thing: The only reason people believe me is I do not sell myself short. I stand up for myself. I offer my ideas. I am outspoken. I am a bossy bitch.

But that is also why I was targeted.

Ah... Trans world problems...


  •  

justpat

   Wow I knew what you meant right away, that is an old term or saying but also very good.  I had a habit of printing important stuff and putting it away or in general making a copy I never have trusted comp's to many people have the ability to screw with you, and you don't know till its to late.You did the right thing standing up for yourself if you accept poop they will keep giving it to you cause they perceive you are weak.Subtle paybacks can be hell just let them know if they mess with you its not a good idea. Been there done that ,was a middle manager for over 25 years, it is much better to work together.  :)  Patty
  •  

Kim 526

I would tell HR. Messing with employee records is, at least malfeasance, if not illegal.
"Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak,
So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep."
  •  

Tori

Yeah, seems their job is going away.

I am lucky a couple of people saw what was there before it disappeared and stood up. Also lucky I caught him doing it twice before before he bit off even more than he could chew.

Crazy, such an old term takes on new nuance in the digital age.


  •  

stephaniec

sorry to hear this.so glad it worked out for you. don't quite understand what happened , but glad you caught it.
  •  

Tori

A tech guy made some of my computer records vanish, then tried to get me in trouble for it.

Fortunately I had caught him twice before, so when he went big this time, there was a group of people who had my back and saw the stuff before it vanished.

This guy is also the only person I know who insists on using my male name and male pronouns, so it is easy to guess what he dislikes about me.


  •  

justpat

   WAY TO GO GIRL ! If it is important always back it up , you have the best thing going, friends who came through for you when it really counted :)  So now you need a computer admin person where you work ? I would bet there is one here that needs a job.
  •  

JamesG

Cool. But watch out for escalation/retaliation.  Some people don't know enough to walk away.
  •  

Tori

True. Hoping this won't come to that.


  •  

Ms Grace

What on earth is that dude's problem? :-\
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
  •  

Jill F

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 18, 2014, 02:00:22 AM
What on earth is that dude's problem? :-\

Why do I have a funny feeling the porn on his hard drive would explain everything?
  •  

Tori

You are probably quite right.


  •  

Jessi Lee 1970

You were much smarter than I was at my previous job at an HP call center. I had issues with the new hire trainer and after a heated discussion one day found out I was out of a job for confidential files that had gotten planted on my work PC. I couldn't prove I hadn't done it... bye bye to the job I had held for 6 years.
  •  

luna nyan

That's an interesting term you used there, learns something new every day.

Sorry to hear abou all the work hassle, I hope it resolves in your favour soon.  The person in question has a personal dogma going and is unlikely to ever learn. :/
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
  •  

Ms Grace

Quote from: luna nyan on May 18, 2014, 05:20:54 AM
That's an interesting term you used there, learns something new every day.

Someone mentioned a book, there was also a Hitchcock film (presumably based on the book). In it a husband would make a gaslight at the house flicker, but when his wife mentions it he says it isn't flickering...over time it causes her to lose her ability to tell if what she sees is real and starts to go a bit cuckoo...
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
  •  

justpat

   Tori,
Your new picture is fantastic ! Computers have been the downfall of many people they don't realize that everything can be tracked especially honesty.Good job Tori you are far more valuable to your employer than the other dirt bag.
  Jesse I am sorry about your job, but everything can be traced---if they really want to know !

  Grace , nice take on an older great film.
  •  

Jessi Lee 1970

It's been 12 years... I healed from that a long time ago. I just wanted to highlight how well Tori handled herself.
  •