I looked in the mirror again.

I try to look in the mirror as little as possible these days because my reflection brings me down every time I see it, and this time was no different.

I see plenty of problems with my appearance (from mid-back length black hair to round cheeks to a not-so-small chest, and so on). However, I can't do much about most of that now, but what I can do (without drawing too much attention to myself) is exercise more.

I need to lose weight; I know this because female-bodied people store more fat than male-bodied people, giving them the appearance of roundness and curves that I am so desperately trying to get rid of.

On top of that, I need to build muscle. I have never been an athletic person, but if it will make me look more how I *should*, then it's well worth it.

So my question here is: what are good exercises to help me not only lose the weight but build muscle as well (preferably in my arms and shoulders)?

I'd love to hear from other FTMs about what has worked for them, but if any ladies have some advice as well, I'd be glad to hear it.

Thanks everyone.

Any advice on how to feel like I "pass" without changing too drastically would really be appreciated.

Exercises that build shoulder muscle can make quite  a difference. Try lifting gallon jugs of water out to your sides.

Kat, thanks for replying.

I have heard that a key to passing is in building up shoulder muscles, so that is one thing I am focusing on. I will definitely try the gallons of water thing, seems simple enough.

Thanks again for the advice!

I'm no expert on such things. But I would suggest the above. Build muscle, and focus most on the upper body, as that opposes the lower body which is usually where MtF look at more, as building more muscle in the legs would make the problems worse for you I imagine. I would focus on arm and back exercises, but not neglect the chest and stomach. shoulder muscles are in a very notable way, muscles that increase the size of the shoulders in appearance.

As for passing, perhaps more baggy clothes? I would think any form fitting clothes are a no-no as they would make the shape more apparent.So perhaps a shirt 1 size too big and looser pants? Wear a belt perhaps? Not sure but there is something more masculine about wearing a belt especially if it's black or brown and more simple looking. some sturdy leather thing that's not flashy. But that's just my own suggestions and opinions. I have these type of clothes, and I hate them. all my clothes are too baggy and require me to wear the belt. (which is just the kind I described.) Because I have so little money new clothes are just not an option. The best I can do is wear my 3-4 sizes too big shorts and a belt, and my only form fitting shirt to show off my bit of gynecomastia. (Male breast tissue) It doesn't look very feminine, so I just try to accent it with how I hold myself. combined with my broken glasses and short hair (gah) we have the opposite problems it seems.    (Meh, I'm in a good mood so I can talk of it without being depressed right now.)

Rayne,

I'm just gonna start by saying that I admire how you can talk so bluntly about it without getting upset over it. Bravo! I'm glad for you that you are making the best of your current situation.

As for the style, I think one of the hardest parts for me is my style. I am young and dress "emo," so I think it's natural for me to want to incorporate that style into passing. That being said, it's so hard! Because I love skinny jeans, especially on guys, but that becomes a problem since it does accent curves that I wish to hide. However, once I get a proper binder, I think my band tees could help me pass, seeing as not many of them are very form-fitting.

On that note, I cannot wait to start working out and building that muscle up. I don't want to be macho man, but definitely need more than this.

Dark clothing helps hide curves. I think 'emo, if I understand it, works with dark clothes. Busy  patterns help distract from curves as well.

Yes, dark clothes help a lot, Kat. I have a few awesome shirts that really help, and I'll be working to add to that soon. If I'm correct, horizontal stripes are a no-no, right?

Well um... Thanks for the complement ^////^

Yeah a binder would help definitely, but at the same time it has to be a good kind. I don't know much about the science of binding to decrease breast size, I hear It's supposed to break down the breast tissue a bit, but you want to be careful with anything that breaks down tissue. But yeah, with something to help hide the breasts, most shirts should work provided their not too form fitting. But the skinny jeans I know must be something that's hard. You either wear them and keep the curvy look or sacrifice your style for now in order to avoid them, tough call. I'm not sure, but abstaining from shaving arms, legs, etc might make you look more manly, or cut your hair. However both can be sacrifices, particularly the latter, that can be troublesome. I mean, Leg hair grows back fast but cutting your hair is semi-permanent in that it takes months to regrow.

So for passing I think we are getting down to more subtle things I guess that can help you pass. Mostly avoid crossing your legs and such. You can place an ankle on your other knee or something, but guy's have too much baggage down there to cross their legs well. (I can painlessly double cross mine ^~^) lean forward a bit, hands or elbows on your knees, legs spread a bit, is a fairly manly sitting pose. I guess any way of sitting that allows you to get up fast, and takes up some space, but not too much, is fairly good. Steriotypically men are the protectors,t hey need to be able to get out of that seat fast just incase after all.    In general most guys won't sit all the way back and rest their back on a backrest. In fact they almost avoid it. These are things I used to do before I started questioning myself, things I guess I was trained to copy from other guys. and I've seen my dad and other guys around me, paying some attention to how they move. (Mostly after I started questioning it and thinking of what to avoid doing. I didn't want to seem more manly after all.) Guys also lean forward when walking. Don't expect great posture unless their raised by strict parents, or something else, or they have prior/current military training. I guess exercise  instructors and the like too but meh. Also, avoid sucking your gut in. most guys would rather not hide any fat if it meant being less comfortable. Perhaps wear less colorfull clothes? (It sounds like you don't anyway.)

Again these are all what I have seen and my opinions.

Anytime.

As for skinny jeans, I think there are ones that are made specifically for males. I'm guessing those ones are better to not emphasize any curves and possibly keep my style.

Thanks a lot for the sitting tips. I really appreciate them, and I'll be re-training myself to use them now. I have a bad habit of crossing my legs (drilled into my mind by a mother who wants girly-girls). I think packing though will help me to remember though. XD

No Worries Phoenix ^~^ I'm retraining myself as well, so we are in the same boat there. But it's starting to feel much more natural to do things like cross my legs, I frequently double cross them for no real reason other than perhaps to increase my leg flexibility. My favorite pose is holding my hands behind my back while I walk. Not sure why.  I was always a bit shy so I can do more shy poses easily, their natural really. It's retraining my voice a bit to speak softer that's harder. (I am so lucky to never have went through puberty. Yay childish voice. ^~^)

Packing would be a decent idea yes, just so long as it doesn't become obvious. Your new underwear should help there. To those who don't know, you're still a girl, and obvious bulk down there would be a bad way of coming out.

Not sure if male skinny jeans would help. I do know men don't have the but females do in general, so they may not work there, and may not have the rear end to fit you. I honestly don't have any so I don't know to be honest. I am glad I can be of use ^~^ It makes me feel nice.

Ah, you lucked out in the voice department, eh. Congrats to you. XD as for myself, to myself, I have a rather deep voice (for a girl). When I listen to it recorded...no. I'm going to work on deepening exercises but I doubt much will happen without T.

Isn't it great that it starts to feel more natural? I'm happy for you. I am naturally flexible and not very strong so it's weird to try the reverse, but I would gladly change the two.

You're right...but maybe it's worth a shot. Or maybe I'll try out some androgynous skinnies at hot topic. 😀 thank god I don't have a butt, really XD

I like to help as well. It's nice to make friends who understand

And yes, you're right. The bad packing would probably not be the best way to come out XD I'd get some strange looks for sure.

Don't we all struggle with this.... I sure do, anyway.

I've picked up a few things: Dark colors below, lighter colors above will emphasize your upper body more. Once you have a decent binder, horizontal stripes up top aren't such a bad idea -- they may help your upper body to look broader. Another key thing is where jeans, and trousers in general, hang on you: you want them to ride relatively low, on your hips and not at your waist; this helps to minimize your curves. And if you can, avoid clothes that are too big -- they pretty much make you look like a lesbian instead of a guy.

And if you look on You Tube, there's a ton of stuff on how to deepen your voice -- some of it is by actual speech therapists and may even be safe.   If your voice is naturally pretty low, this might work pretty well for you.

Thanks a lot for the advice, tysilio. I'm going to start working on my voice ASAP.

As for the jeans, I didn't know that. Thanks for educating me a little. I'll be sure to look for that when I shop for them. XD

All is great advice that I appreciate very much. Thank you again

For me, baggy clothes, a shorter haircut (Which I've always had anyways), I've also always wore darker clothing... Uhm.. Ya exercise can help as well.. Though I'm not good about that department cause I'm lazy lol... Uhm a chest binder, I'd look up some youtube vids on chest binders. Don't do ace bandage wraps or anything like that cause it could do more harm than good. You could bust or crack a rib, cut off air flow, or do damage to your chest in general. As much as we transguys hate our boobs it's not good to injure yourself either. I have a couple binders from Underworks. I have a full torso binder which kinda helps hide the extra body fat in my stomach lol.

Uhm.. Ya that's all I got for you. Some of it can't really be helped cause things like your voice will give you away unless you have a naturally deeper sounding voice you may be able to disguise that. Some of these things, unfortunately, we have to wait for T to help out with. But ya try some of those things, unless you like your longer hair (and some guys do, hell I have a cismale friend who has long hair going down to his ass lol). But ya.. Give some of those things a try. It might help with passing, and if not it will help you feel more comfortable in your own skin at least. Especially a chest binder. For us transguys it can be like a security blanket that helps us get through the day.

I don't usually exercise either, but I love to swim and luck would have it that that's really good for building arm and shoulder muscles. 😉 I've also decided to try yoga. I thought it was too girly at first, but damn is it hard! It also builds muscles and endurance.

Things like voice and hair are tricky. My boyfriend's voice is higher than mine, presently, and he is cismale. Then, there's the hair deal. Some cismales, like your friend, have really long hair, haha. However, for me personally, I want to work on deepening my voice naturally and cut my hair (maybe to an androgynous style first).

I really do need a binder, but it's hard to get one when people around me don't know about this yet. So for now, I'm using the 'ole sports bra trick, which is helping some.

As for clothes, I am still hunting for skinny jeans that won't give me away. (Yes, I am crazy.)

Until then, I am busy re- training my body to behave like a man's and trying really hard to erase the irritating girly habits that seem natural to me now.

Thanks for the advice, bro. Good luck on your journey, too.

I have a bgger chest too so I know the feeling. But most people didn't even notice at first when I started binding. So either people actually don't pay attention in general or my friends/family is oblivious rofl

Haha I wish my family was that oblivious sometimes. I think they're watching me closer than before now

I lost a lot of weight by cycling (exercise bike) and walking pre-T. I couldn't focus on building muscle in my upper body because of an RMI.

I managed to stay fairly stable on T, but the clinic reduced my dose, so weight management became harder. But I did all right until a foot injury forced me to stop exercising for months and months. Stupidly, I also started eating a lot of junk food because of stress and, illogically, depression over my weight. Apart from all the anxiety of being overextended at work, I guess some sort of twisted logic impelled me in that direction: I'm going to gain weight anyway, so I might as well indulge.

Not the smartest way to go.

Still, T has made it much easier for me to maintain my weight. Other guys seem to have the opposite effect. What are your long-term plans?