Hi everyone.

I am considering trying to set up a charity fund to house trans and gender questioning youth, maybe adults too, who have been pushed out and have nowhere to stay, to get them up and started again and keep them safe.

When I was 15 I was kicked out of my house and had nowhere to go. My parents said the way I was presenting was a disgrace. My long hair and fingernails etc. They didn't want people to see me coming in and out of their house, bringing them shame. Mostly I slept in the little nigh-time enclosure for ATM machines that a few banks have in these parts. It was winter and that was the only place I could be and not freeze. I was cold, scared and felt really really alone and worthless.

Whatever, it doesn't matter now. I am over it and quite frankly very lucky that I managed to get out of that situation without too much bad happening to me. I could easily have gone down some very bad paths right then or had some very bad things happen to me.

Anyway, I was thinking recently, is my experience uncommon among trans people? I am guessing not? Is there a need for a charity fund to help youths who have been pushed out?

Kira x

While I have not come out yet to my family, the research that I've done on the subject says that this is not uncommon, which is disheartening. If only families were more accepting.

Anyway, I think something like this would be really helpful and great.

First, let me say that this is a really generous idea for you to have come up with. 

It seems that trans youth often have issues with their parents and homelessness is sometimes an effect of that.  I was a bit older when I came out (24), but yeah, I was threatened with being kicked out.  That's no longer an issue for me (and doubt it will again be as I pay rent at my home) but I always think about those who are younger than me.  Those with even less opportunities, without a degree, completely dependent on parents or maybe just down on their luck.  And sadly, I've heard enough stories to know that it's hard to be a trans teen or young adult as the threat of homelessness is very real. 

Please keep us updated on whether you create such a fund.  I would be willing to contribute something to it as I feel this is a great idea.  I have very little, but there are people out there with even less and maybe it will do some good for others that are really in need. 

That's a great idea! Though your talk of being kicked out at 15 distracted me. Rather than go into the depressing road of insulting your heartless parents, I'll just skip that and save you the depression.

I Love your idea. If I had money I'd donate to it if it was an active charity. This should be done.

Not nessissarily unique to trans, a common tactic for poor parenting and/or those that are at the end of their rope is to kick them out. My old man once kicked me out of his house for several days for setting fire to a plastic model.  But yeah,  LGBT kids seem to get the brunt of it. Which makes all the other issues they face even worse.

Maybe a crowdfunding campaign like Kickstarter?

I dont know if a trans focus is the best idea. (cant close your doors to a homless child because they arnt dysphoric) But maybe a trans enclution focus working with pre exsisting groops.

Social intergration is what we need, and i get the impresion that a sole trans focus might increase social separation. (we wont let you in our shelter you should ge here)

Thats my two cents. either way trans and homeless need help and im sure what ever is done its still going to make life better for a lot of people.

Thanks for the encouragement and ideas. I will definitely look into crowd sourcing . I hadn't thought of that :-)

I understand your point  about not excluding non-trans kids Butterfly Vickster. I am a little torn on that one though too. I would say my current thinking is that what ever facilities and funding we might generate could possibly be used for other vulnerable individuals, where it does not block a young trans from using it e.g. all accommodations we have a re occupied with other needy youths so the trans youth cannot stay there.

The needs of the trans kids would have to come first as trans people are a lot more vulnerable. They are more likely to be attacked, they have a higher suicide rate than any other group you could pick (such a racial minorities, the incarcerated, seriously disabled, gay people, lesbians, etc.) at 25x the national average (yes 2500% percent), they are more vulnerable to being lead into prostitution (I had offers when I was sleeping on the streets at night and it is very very tempting, for no reason other than to be able to be somewhere warm). It would be a place where they can also be directed to services that might help them with gender issues too and that would not work if it were a 'for all' service. T

here are plenty of charities that limit their actions to a specific group. I don't think they are doing it because other people are not in need, but one charity can't do everything for everyone.

I can't see there being a massive separation issue. Its a temporary thing, like the shelters for women sufferers of domestic abuse and their children, They spend some time there briefly while they sort things out so that they can move on normal living arrangements.

I am sure the charity that provides shelter service to women suffers of domestic violence accept that there are some men who are violently attacked by their female partners and would benefit from a similar service as would may others, its just its not what *they* do.

I am not set on anything yet though, they are just ideas and I am happy to look at things again, if can give me a different perspective?

Actually this is a huge need. There are a lot of homeless shelters and runaway shelters and not a lot of them accept trans people. I have done a lot of trans 101s and the guy who runs these mentions this in just about every presentation. Here in Albuquerque, we have pretty good services for trans people but this is a big need. Take a look at (after a stiff drink a report called "Injustice at Every Turn"). BTW, this is likely to be triggering for some folks.

You might take a look at Chicago House (I think it's called) that does this.

--Jay

Quote from: ButterflyVickster on May 17, 2014, 08:40:44 PM
I dont know if a trans focus is the best idea. (cant close your doors to a homless child because they arnt dysphoric) But maybe a trans enclution focus working with pre exsisting groops.

Social intergration is what we need, and i get the impresion that a sole trans focus might increase social separation. (we wont let you in our shelter you should ge here)

Thats my two cents. either way trans and homeless need help and im sure what ever is done its still going to make life better for a lot of people.

Well, considering all the things that transgender people are excluded from, one little charity with a trans focus is more likely to help create a refuge for trans people in need rather than endorse social exclusion.  There is hardly anything for our community and the safety nets in place sometimes discriminate against us.  Focusing on the trans community is a way to eliminate that gap while it still exists.  Promoting social change is great, but in the mean time there are people in need right now.  That's why I think this is a wonderful idea and really would like to thank Kira and her generous heart for trying to set this up.

Sound like a good idea to me
I am priviliged that I never been homeless for real, but when I was younger I did have alot of problems with my parrents and the whole trans thing, I had run away from home a couple of times and half-sleeping outside in the middle of the nights. I don't think its unnusual at all for trans teens to get homeless or move away from there parrents as fast as posible. it also true homeless transpeople are move vulnuable, I knew a couple of diffrent transwomen who been homeless, some where asylum seeker and place in all-male areas and another was placed at some kind of institution where she also got attacked and harrasmed at daily basic.

I don't think it would be wrong to put up an transgender focus. theres also glbt asylum focus, it not to discriminate non-lgbt asylum seekers and saying that they are not having a rough time, but it because when you are lgbt theres often other issues which also should be taking in focus.
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Quote from: kira21 ♡♡♡ on May 17, 2014, 10:51:15 PM
Thanks for the encouragement and ideas. I will definitely look into crowd sourcing . I hadn't thought of that :-)

I understand your point  about not excluding non-trans kids Butterfly Vickster. I am a little torn on that one though too. I would say my current thinking is that what ever facilities and funding we might generate could possibly be used for other vulnerable individuals, where it does not block a young trans from using it e.g. all accommodations we have a re occupied with other needy youths so the trans youth cannot stay there.

The needs of the trans kids would have to come first as trans people are a lot more vulnerable. They are more likely to be attacked, they have a higher suicide rate than any other group you could pick (such a racial minorities, the incarcerated, seriously disabled, gay people, lesbians, etc.) at 25x the national average (yes 2500% percent), they are more vulnerable to being lead into prostitution (I had offers when I was sleeping on the streets at night and it is very very tempting, for no reason other than to be able to be somewhere warm). It would be a place where they can also be directed to services that might help them with gender issues too and that would not work if it were a 'for all' service. T

here are plenty of charities that limit their actions to a specific group. I don't think they are doing it because other people are not in need, but one charity can't do everything for everyone.

I can't see there being a massive separation issue. Its a temporary thing, like the shelters for women sufferers of domestic abuse and their children, They spend some time there briefly while they sort things out so that they can move on normal living arrangements.

I am sure the charity that provides shelter service to women suffers of domestic violence accept that there are some men who are violently attacked by their female partners and would benefit from a similar service as would may others, its just its not what *they* do.

I am not set on anything yet though, they are just ideas and I am happy to look at things again, if can give me a different perspective?

I Was wrong, Inclusion can be worked towards later, right now places to go are what is needed. And every bit of money spent struggling with enclusion resistances can be better spent with a trans focuse.

And im sure you'll do fine. You have obviously put a great amount of thought into this, and looked at it from a lot of angles.

Quote from: ButterflyVickster on May 17, 2014, 08:40:44 PM
I dont know if a trans focus is the best idea. (cant close your doors to a homless child because they arnt dysphoric) But maybe a trans enclution focus working with pre exsisting groops.

Social intergration is what we need, and i get the impresion that a sole trans focus might increase social separation. (we wont let you in our shelter you should ge here)

Thats my two cents. either way trans and homeless need help and im sure what ever is done its still going to make life better for a lot of people.

I disagree with this. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with a focus (though it might be harder to get funders and so on). There are usually many more options for kids (say) who are homeless and none for kids who are trans and homeless.

--Jay

I believe this needs to happen globally!

I keep meaning to respond to this then- Squirrel! 

This is a brilliant idea. Amazing. A safe place for trans homeless to get a hand so they can stand on their own? There are few causes more worthy. No one should be treated as a lesser person, nor should they be encouraged to believe in such negativity.

Crowd funding would be a great way to get this started.

If I can help this get started at all, let me know. (I'll focus, I promise.)

much love,
-Claire

Quote from: kira21 ♡♡♡ on May 17, 2014, 07:36:38 PM
Hi everyone.

I am considering trying to set up a charity fund to house trans and gender questioning youth, maybe adults too, who have been pushed out and have nowhere to stay, to get them up and started again and keep them safe.

When I was 15 I was kicked out of my house and had nowhere to go. My parents said the way I was presenting was a disgrace. My long hair and fingernails etc. They didn't want people to see me coming in and out of their house, bringing them shame. Mostly I slept in the little nigh-time enclosure for ATM machines that a few banks have in these parts. It was winter and that was the only place I could be and not freeze. I was cold, scared and felt really really alone and worthless.

Whatever, it doesn't matter now. I am over it and quite frankly very lucky that I managed to get out of that situation without too much bad happening to me. I could easily have gone down some very bad paths right then or had some very bad things happen to me.

Anyway, I was thinking recently, is my experience uncommon among trans people? I am guessing not? Is there a need for a charity fund to help youths who have been pushed out?

Kira x

Yep no such thing as unconditional love. 

I think it is a great idea, being trans is such a difficult thing to deal with at any age, but when you are young without resources, there really aren't many good options.  A safe place where they can be accepted will definitely save lives.