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Legally changing your last name

Started by BORNTOFLY, May 18, 2014, 02:14:19 PM

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BORNTOFLY


I told my parents about my transition & how I felt my whole life. They admitted they saw many male gender differences in me but basically are very opposed it. Both are trying to persuade me to stop the transition process & are being mean, as well as unsupportive.

I've been thinking about legally changing my last name as well. Does anyone know if this can be done?  I understand many name changes are the first & middle names only. But I'm concerned w/ a last name change as there may be difficulty w/ changing over bank accounts, home mortgage etc.

Thanks guys :)
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Arch

In the U.S., you should be able to change any parts of your name that you wish. I changed all three in California, but I did use the common use method years ago. Still, I had no trouble changing over bank accounts and school records and the like.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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BORNTOFLY

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JesseO

I changed my first and last name in NY - no issues at all.
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Arch

Quote from: BORNTOFLY on May 18, 2014, 02:43:29 PM
Thanks Arch, I'm in Cali too :)

Cool! We're neighbors!!! (Okay, I know, it's kind of a big state.)
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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Whynaut

I just changed my first and middle in OR but I could have changed all three if I wished with the same process/no extra steps. I don't think you should have a problem. Women change their last names all the time when they get married, then must change their official documents.
"It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story."
- The Name of the Wind
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Jill F

It's no big deal.  When you file your papers, you just fill in your full preferred name.

I know I'm MTF and in the wrong forum here, but the same rules apply.

I still haven't broken the news to my parents and am trying to figure out how to do it without crushing them.
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BORNTOFLY

Thanks everyone :)  I will take the steps to change my full name.

And I'm a San Diego native, but thinking of moving to San Francisco. Where you from Arch?
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Felix

Changing your last name shouldn't be too difficult and will likely actually raise fewer eyebrows than changing your first name. Good luck going forward. :)
everybody's house is haunted
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tgchar21

Yes, you can change it all in the same process. Another benefit of changing your last name is when a form like a job application asks for a former or other name you've used, and they have no practical reason to know your full former name (e.g. all of your work/school/criminal records/references that are to be checked are in/know you by your new name, if applying for a job) you can put down just your former last name as an "alternative" response and not out yourself. Since you're FTM this may raise a little more eyebrows than if you were MTF (since it's much less common for a man to have used another last name), but still better than giving out a former-gender-specific first/middle name that outs you (or even the "initials only" tactic another FTM once suggested on here).

Quote from: Felix on May 18, 2014, 04:51:27 PM
Changing your last name shouldn't be too difficult and will likely actually raise fewer eyebrows than changing your first name. Good luck going forward. :)

"Raising less eyebrows" is really only true if you're doing it in conjunction with a marriage/divorce (or the best legally allowed equivalent if a same-sex couple), and even less so since your target gender is male (since as I said it's less common for men to change their last names upon those events). Absent those events a first-name change would probably raise less eyebrows - at least in a judge's eyes - since it's common for people to prefer to go by a different given name, but a last name change not tied to a specific event or backed by a specific reason (beyond what I listed above other examples are adoption - or the opposite if you are getting back with your birth/biological family, changing your name to assimilate - or the opposite if getting back in touch with your ancestry, etc.) is more likely to be assumed that you're doing it for illegal or quasi-legal reasons (such as to hide debt or a criminal past - legitimate reasons a judge can deny your name change).
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Arch

Quote from: BORNTOFLY on May 18, 2014, 04:33:30 PMAnd I'm a San Diego native, but thinking of moving to San Francisco. Where you from Arch?

I don't tend to divulge my exact city, but I'm in Southern California.

Why do you want to move to SF?
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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Vicky

For the Unchanged California crowd (and western U.S.)  these folks are great for Name and gender change advice ---http://transgenderlawcenter.org/.  Their site will link to the necessary forms for DIY, or for trans issues you can use the site to get personal answers.
I refuse to have a war of wits with a half armed opponent!!

Wiser now about Post Op reality!!
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BORNTOFLY

Awesome info everyone, thanks a bunch!

tgchar21..thanks I didn't even think about that. And yep I'm past the point of being concerned about raised eye brows lol :)

Thanks so much Vicky, that link was very helpful & I bookmarked it!

And Arch, I want to move up to SF for many reasons, the trans* community is much larger w/ more services & its ideal for my company...a pool of top talent & vast local resources :)
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BORNTOFLY

And thanks Felix..appreciate the cheer :)
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Arch

Quote from: BORNTOFLY on May 18, 2014, 06:29:29 PM
And Arch, I want to move up to SF for many reasons, the trans* community is much larger w/ more services & its ideal for my company...a pool of top talent & vast local resources :)

I have heard many complaints that trans men don't "pass" well in SF, so be prepared for that. Because the trans community is so large, people know the signs. I expect that my small hands would get me instantly clocked up there.

Some trans men apparently never fly under the radar in SF. I wouldn't be able to live that way (at least, not by choice), so SF is not an option for me. But I prefer SoCal anyway.

Both SD and LA have reasonably large trans communities and halfway decent services. The Inland Empire, not so much.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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