I know some might not understand why but I can't help it. Like I'm dressed up right now without all like necklaces, makeup and all. Gonna do myself up even cuter tonight with my nails done, makeup and my necklaces and all. Nobody even realizes that I do this except 1 or 2 girls I know. I have to put on a boy look again in a few minutes. Ya that's the depressing part but I'm fine and I always go out in boymode. I have a friend who emailed me the other day about being trans. She asked if my feelings of feeling this way decreased. They have not. I am a girl partly inside and to deny that is something I've never done. It's something other guys can't get a concept ofcourse of feeling that long hair against your face and feeling pretty like a girl for example. Wearing a bra stuffed to look like breasts under a cute tee and feeling normal like yourself is not comprehensible for guys not trans. Guys would go crazy and be VERY uncomfortable being this way. I'm not. The uncomfortable is sometimes when I have to be in boymode.

It's great that you have time to get all prettied up and feel comfortable. Have you ever thought of going full-time?

I'm somewhat jealous. I'd love to do things like that. I really do. All I have are some cute earrings I'm too scared to wear. I don't have any clothes but baggy shorts and jeans too big for me now and mostly bland shirts all dark greens, browns, etc. oh well. Have fun! ^~^ And yeah, anyore I am ferquently uncomfortable being a guy with my family... and...not friends XD I have none near me. If anything since I started questioning my gender the feelings have increased, not decreased.

Yes but ill never be a girl full time for a multitude of reasons and sometimes I'm uncomfortable all prettied up but that is not often. Sometimes I feel more of a girl than a boy or the other way around but I never feel fully boy or girl so transition would be hard just as this one of the reasons. That and I like girls, not guys so I cant transition.

Perhaps your gender fluid? From my understanding they sort of fluidly change genders over time. (Gee, that wasn't the least bit obvious compared to the term was it. ^~^) Ahh, Well, just be comfortable. And do what you want to do. and if that means you don't want to transition, then don't. I see no reason why you can't just be a girl sometimes and a boy others.

I totally get what you're saying - I've not actually prettied myself up for quite awhile. I do it now and then as a nice thing to do, but mostly I stick to being pretty generic guy but then again, if i was physically a girl I wouldn't dress too different than what I am right now haha. I can fairly fluidly jump between either gender when needed, but I'm way more comfortable being my girl side online where as I feel I sorta go through the paces as a guy. I don't actually know if that is a unique thing or not, since I have talked and read stories from other transgendered people that had a difficult time understanding how the other side lives - its always been a weird second nature to me (not putting anyone down - I just think I may be more fluid than some people)

One thing I've wanted to do for a long time though is go to a transgendered boutique/salon place and get a full day transformation done with the makeup and maybe a wig and the filler cup bras and pads and all that. I actually went looking around for one, but couldn't find one in San Diego =(