I just registered and I'm psyched to get to know the cool ppl on here.
I've had a hysterectomy, but no other surgeries. I just literally called my Dr. to inquire about shots-I want to start T- but she hasn't called back yet.
I have called my member services (HMO) and they do not cover the shots (crap!!) :/
So, I'm wondering how much they cost. I'm in the U.S.
Another question that I could probably find out if I could navigate around here, is do you find the gel cheaper and as effective? Just wondering about my options.

Also, here's a biggie. I'm married 20 years with 3 teen boys. I've changed my clothing (3 years now) and have rid myself of all female things, perfume, jewelry, clothing... shoes. I was wondering if I could talk to someone who is transitioning or has already who is/was married and how your relationship is. My hubby knows I'm FTM, but doesn't know I want to go on T. Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance and have a great week.

-Andrew

Hi Andrew, and welcome to Susan's.

I can't be of much help with the T cost question in the US because, well, first of all, I live in Canada, and second of all, I'm MTF.
As regards the relationship... could be a bit dicey. I have been out to my wife for about a year and a half. She was devastated. She is having a really difficult time with this, and was really upset  about me starting HRT. While the "gender change" was unsettling by itself, I have a really bad habit of not being completely open. Might be a lifetime of hiding and living in fear... not trying to excuse myself. Anyways, if your spouse has not sought councelling yet, I would recommend that he does. I saw, in my wife, a feeling of betrayal that has not diminished in the last year and a half. I also know of some couples who have adapted well and are still happily together. It's a bit of a crap shoot. You need to communicate well, trust your mate fully, and calmly work through this. There are other areas here on Susan's, check out the FTM area in Tansgender Talk https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,27.0.html
There might be some topics that deal better with this.
Hope this helps

Thank you for replying. I can totally understand the 'betrayal' feeling our sig others will/do feel and I too am one to hide myself due to not wanting to hurt him or cause him stress. Honesty is best. I just don't want to lose him, but I know he doesn't want to identify as gay. (cuz I'd look more like a man) My mother told me not to go on T cuz of the kids. She said to let them move out first but by then, I'm afraid I'll be dead by my own hand. I can't live like I am, in limbo, and I also can't devastate my family by changing. I just don't know what to do.

Thanks again Ellie. Take care and good luck to you.

I know too well that dark cloud that hangs over us. As far as your kids go, I guess it depends on how old they are and how much you are showing. I still present (and easily pass) as a male in public, but I don't think I'd be able to pull that off at the beach any more...
The kids, (she's 16, he's 18) have never seen me en femme, nor do they know what's going on with me.
I don't know how long it takes for T to do the physical magic, but you know, there's always the razor. A good shave will get you over the hump while you are waiting for full transition. The mental effects of having the "correct" hormone balance are liberating. A lot of the dysphoria goes away after starting HRT, at least for me that was the case. If you need to remain more or less closeted, you may be able to pull this off. Check out the FTM area, your bros there will be better able to help with that. The shaving part? Ah yes... well, unfortunately, I am an expert there if you need some pointers

Thanks Ellie, you've been more than helpful xx

A big warm welcome to the family Tigger! Most of us have been in a similar situation with SOs and some relationships work and others fail. I personally lost a 16 year marriage and it hurt, but living a lie hurt worse. My son stayed with me and accepts me totally (has even slipped and called me Mom a couple of times), but my daughter went with her mother. I hope you can find a way to work things out with yours, but it requires a lot of communication and information. You have to remember your SO is kind of going through transition as well and may not have had enough time to think about it as you have. Be patient and if it works out, great! Be prepared of course in case it doesn't. You now have access to many different stories from people all over the world and how they handled their personal issue's concerning SOs. Pull up a chair because there is so much information here it will take a while. Here is a BIG HUG  to welcome you and make you feel right at home!

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Tigger, I'm currently going through something similar with my SO, the difference being that she's a lifelong dyke -- which is how I identified until I realized I just couldn't do it any more. Also, there are no kids in the picture so I can't speak to that.

It's hard. She's very supportive, but at the same time, she doesn't really get it, and it's very difficult for her, especially now that some effects of T are starting to show (I'm about three months in). The more she's able to think of me as a guy, the less she's able to think of me as her partner. But the ironic thing is that in spite of that, this is bringing us closer together; partly because I'm so much less depressed, more able to open up and be vulnerable emotionally, and generally nicer to be around.

I think the key to this is that I've chosen to be very open with her, as honest as I know how to be about what's going on. Making oneself vulnerable in this way is one of the hardest things there is, because the fear of losing this most important person is so strong. But if you really respect and love someone, it's the only way to go. We tend say "Oh, I don't want to hurt them," or "I have to protect them," but I'm pretty sure, at least for me, that what's really going on when I say that is that I'm protecting myself, not the other person -- from fear of rejection, fear of being hurt -- it's about me. So I've learned the hard way that it's a selfish thing to do. My partner is her own person, and she gets to decide how she feels about things; I can't control that, and it's disrespectful to try.

Our relationship is changing... but it's also getting stronger, and I'm working pretty hard at letting go of needing to control the outcome.

Hi Andrew  and welcome to Susan's Place! Here's a big  from a new family member.         

Injection is the cheapest route. Without insurance, Stroheckers is the way to go. They ship to most states and you only need to have the script faxed and payment made. They include alcohol wipes and syringes and needles in the cost. Expect about $65 per vial and it should last a good while. They are a compounding pharmacy in Oregon.