My mom and I have never seen eye-to-eye. We've built some walls between each other growing up. Financially she supports me. I'm living in her home at the ripe age of 22. I'm working full-time at a small business. I'm an aspiring medical field worker slowly searching for a way to break into hospital work. And I identify as male even though I am biologically female. I can go into great details about why I ID as male, or how long I have. But I won't. This is more about my mother. I came out to my mother. I was forced to over the phone. Before that moment, she would passively ask me about why I like to dress in men's clothing, or get short hair, etc. She asked me several times if I'd like to be a boy. I defensively denied that accusation each time. Until one day, I snapped a little, and told her. She came home and was livid. She yelled. Screamed. Called my ideas stupid. Called the whole thing "retarded." My idea of a name change, of a gender change, of anything. Stupid. Worthless. Nobody in society will ever accept me. I will lose all of my friends and family. I'd be an outcast. Many things. She eventually decided for me that I was just a lesbian and should live as such for a while. Because one problem aside from the transgender bit is my mother still believes she needs to have every part of my life controlled at my age, and that I'm unable to make my own decisions in life. There's a branching connection of problems right there.
Fast forward to today. I got my hair cut very short for the first time in a long time. Got it cut, highlighted a little, and I love the way it feels and looks. It's a bit new and different, but I think it makes me look older and a bit more masculine. My friends love it, my hair stylist likes it, but more importantly, I like it. My mother, however... Well, the first thing she said when I came home was something along the lines of "why did you get it cut that short? You'll never get a job because you don't look normal. You look like a boy." Again, another rift in our relationship. This knocked my self-esteem down a bit, honestly. I was hoping it at least looked slightly tolerable.
One thing about my mother I should mention: She's the very textbook definition of a conservative Republican. Bill O'Reily, Fox 59 (our state's right-wing Fox station), huge McCain supporter, anything and everything so long as it's conservative and Republican. I don't normally like using a political party to define a person, but this is how she defines herself, honestly. If it's not "normal" to her, it's wrong. She'd do well to live in the 1950's.
So all of that aside, you can consider this post a mini-rant. If anyone has any input in dealing with un-supportive parents, please do let me know, as I've just begun my battle for my correct gender about a month ago and am still ever-fighting.
