Sorry to come off as negative, but I'm in a pretty bad headspace today and I would really like a little advice. Basically, what do you folks do on the bad days, the days when you hate yourself?

-Tegan

What do you mean? Body dysphoria or Not being able to do somthing you want to? Do you mean being at war with yourself, un decisive moment? Or when you set out to do somthing and second guess yourself and don't do it?

Or do you just mean "hate" for anyreason?

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One of the things I do, is take to someone I hate less then myself. I talk to my dad a lot and he treis his best, but turns dismissive some as far as my transition is concerned, and I'm greatfull for this in a way, because I leave the convo hating him instead :p.When I talk to more sympathetic people I get hugs and cuddles (sometimes I hate myself for completelly none dysphoric reasons).


If I hate myself because I think I should of been better, had more courage, more intelects, more stamina, I just keep trying and trying, and oive had to learn I'm not a heroin, I can't help everybody and somtimes its bnest I do nothing or do somthing els.
Wishing I could do more, realy gets to me.

Another thing I do, is a try and see a funny side or take my mind off of it, I somtimes do things for the purpose of feeling better about myself, ill visit the what made you un-happy and can I pass threds to cheer people up. Last time I hated myself I read the bad jokes thread from start to finish

My nose and my big butt make me self conscience

Self harm, starve etc. I don't handle stuff well, evidently. We all feel insecure sometimes, tho, even the most beautiful people in the world do. It's apart of life I guess.

you dont even wanna fathom or guess what i do on days i hate myself.

Whatever the reason I always believe if your going to do something do it properly.  So for a bad head space I like to go deep really deep. Be that picturing me and a blunt instrument,  or listening to Nick Cave's murder ballads and I come up when I'm good and ready blasting anyone who says I should cheer up. (Side note never be afraid to ask a friend R U OK, a simple conversation may change a life), even if some of us like to wallow its nice to know people care.

I also bowl either by myself or with anyone I can drag with me.  It forces me to clear my mind and focus if I want to get a decent score and I can take out any issues on the pins (They can't do anything back to you)

I tend to just slink away off to my own space and just overwhelm myself with music. I just drown everything out with that.

Quote from: Abbyxo on May 21, 2014, 08:15:25 PM
Self harm, starve etc. I don't handle stuff well, evidently. We all feel insecure sometimes, tho, even the most beautiful people in the world do. It's apart of life I guess.

i dont know how people can starve themselves. i just end up going bulimic o.O

Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 21, 2014, 08:37:11 PM
(Side note never be afraid to ask a friend R U OK, a simple conversation may change a life)

Yes and if nothing els. said freind has already vented some anger by grumbeling "what do you think" and being sarcy.

I talk with my brothers or close friends aware of my 'situation'.
Frank talk. Keeping for yourself is not good.
Otherwise, music or watching a documentary (I love documentaries about social insects and space) also helps me a lot if I'm alone.
Try to take your mind off the negative feedback loop. Put your brain in standby.
Alcohol and drugs won't help. Tried that before...

Sonia

I stare at myself in the mirror and have a very bad conversation.

Quote from: Brianna Umiko Liliana on May 21, 2014, 08:41:51 PM
i dont know how people can starve themselves. i just end up going bulimic o.O

And ruin my teeth?? Never! Starving is truly an addiction for me. I love hunger pains when I'm really bad off xD

Quote from: Abbyxo on May 21, 2014, 09:28:16 PM
And ruin my teeth?? Never! Starving is truly an addiction for me. I love hunger pains when I'm really bad off xD

i can understand that. i use to starve myself but after being starved most of my life, my survival instincts say you must eat even though i dont want to lol

Quote from: immortal gypsy on May 21, 2014, 08:37:11 PM
Side note never be afraid to ask a friend R U OK, a simple conversation may change a life, even if some of us like to wallow its nice to know people care.

So Tegan are you okay?

sry, i did get a bit carried away, but i'd say go for a bike ride, go for a walk, find anything to distract yourself. hell, if you dont like reading, nows a good time to pick up a good book lol

I'm assuming this has everything to do with transitioning or something presentation related - so in this context - I would just accept the best version of me at the time of whatever it is that's causing me an insurmountable dysphoria and live with-and-within it. Don't harm yourself needlessly by trying to do otherwise. It will crush you in the end.

If you achieve androgyny - live happily androgynously. If you pass - live passably. Be realistic and temper your expectations.

I'm still moving along here at a comfortable pace, yet mindful to preempt myself from iffy thinking by adhering to baby steps, testing, then deciding if what I'm doing is realistically feasible or not.

I realize my limits.

If anything that I'm doing is not in the cards or feasible or attainable, then I'm going to drop it, have a dry martini, reflect a little, forgive, and move on. At least I tried.

Oh yeah, there's always the option to chase after $$$$. Because it tends to solve a lot of other problems in life. And it keep you busy to-boot.

Cry... don't get out of bed... don't eat... cry some more...

My partner learned well and blocked off all of our mirrors around the room.

I don't necessarily hate myself- just my body. And that's pretty much 24/7 it just depends on the intensity.

I talk to my friends and family. Those who know me and who I really am and accept that. Before I could do that though I talked to my therapist and my mentor on this journey.

And as of lately I have devolved into a certain Hearthstone game.
Horrible I know.

Cry very easily or feel dead inside. Self harm with cutting, drinking alone, starving. Sleep too much, isolation, accepting emotional abuse, vicious self-loathing. Feel suicidal more easily.

Recently: Not cutting anymore (though still tempted), trying social interaction, using a crisis chat line I found (7 cups of tea), not drinking. Still excess sleep, self harming with starving. Still think about killing myself/ remembering past attempts on those bad days.

I could be wrong, but I gathered Tegan was maybe looking for some positive solutions and coping strategies.

Self-hatred is a pretty dark and toxic place. Been there on more occasions than I care to mention. Fortunately not for a while now. The worst thing about self-hatred and self-abuse (verbal or physical) is that you're doing it to yourself. If you wouldn't do the same thing to another person or animal, why on earth would you do it to the most important person in your life - you?

I don't know how it happened, but one day a few years back I was in a despicably black place of self loathing, and all of a sudden, like an out of body experience, I saw that I was a prisoner to a mean, nasty tyrant and sadist. I became deeply sad and upset because I realised that sadistic tyrant was myself. I just wanted to hug myself, heal myself, love myself and keep myself safe. "It's OK, sweetie, they're gone, no more abuse, no more prison."