On Friday I went to a gender friendly night club for the third time and I met a six year pre-op transexxual, and it was so amazing on how much we clicked in our way of thinking. We sat and talked for an hour and half about everything, and I told her about all the problems that I was going through, and she was  confidently able to convince me that I was born this way and that it was not the result of my accident as my mom has been trying to think. So when I see my neuropsychologist this Thursday, he's going to hear alot from me, and unfortunately, he's not going to like it. One thing that I've found is that by going to this gender friendly club is like therapy for me. It's allowing me to be with people of my own kind and being able to talk with them about certain issues.

Gina

I am of the opinion that many need to have three areas of support.  The first is a therapist who understands gender issues.  The second is made up of family and/or friends.  The third is a bit of the community.  The T community helped me out a lot when I first started and I will always be grateful that they were there.

YMMV of course.

Right now for support I have all my close friends here at Susan's and I have my new friends at the gender friendly night club, but my neuropsychologist is being heavily influenced by my mom.  Unfortuantely my entire family is against me and so if I proceed with my plans with transitioning (which I plan to do), I'll be taking my journey alone. 

Gina

Not alone Gina,

Sounds like you are making some new friends who will be supportive, and who knows maybe once you are more underway so to speak, your parents will realise that they can't stop you and come around and support you instead. One can always hope.

Cassie

Quote from: gina_taylor on December 19, 2005, 03:30:46 PM
Right now for support I have all my close friends here at Susan's and I have my new friends at the gender friendly night club, but my neuropsychologist is being heavily influenced by my mom.  Unfortuantely my entire family is against me and so if I proceed with my plans with transitioning (which I plan to do), I'll be taking my journey alone. 

Gina

Two points...

I would just like to remind everyone that while Susan's is a wonderful and the most important place for support, friendship, advice, fellowship, comfort and safety, professional medical advice and therapy must be pursued as well, and I'm confident that everyone here at Susan's would support that.

The other point is specifically for Gina.  I know you are over the age of consent so why on earth is your mother involved in any of your therapy sessions unless it was at your request.  She should not have any bearing or influence on them what so ever, and your neuro should not be consulting with her unless it was with your permission.

Just my thoughts,

Steph

YMMV stated, "I am of the opinion that many need to have three areas of support.  The first is a therapist who understands gender issues.  The second is made up of family and/or friends.  The third is a bit of the community."

And the fourth thing that some TG's need, money.  And lots of it.

Stephanie is correct, unless your mother has legal authority over you because of your accident, she has no business talking with your counselor and he could be breaking the law discussing your diagnose with your mother.

Sarah L.

I still stand by what I said Harper, unless Gina's mother has Power of Attorney over her (for what ever reason) she has no right to know what is going on with the councelor.

The fact that Gina works for her parents company is a different issue and something that Gina will have to contend with.

Sorry to refer to you in the "third" person Gina, I know this issue is of extreme importance to you.

Sarah L.

I really appreciate all your kind heartfelt words.

I know that I have alot of support from y'all here and that y'all wouldn't let me journey alone  Thanks for reminding me of that Cassie. That's a very good point thought that maybe once I am underway that maybe my parents may take a better likings towards me. We can only hope for the best. 

Y'know, Melissa, I do try to ignore the bad comments, but sometimes they over weigh the good comments. Unfortunately my mom is so closeminded to me and my lifestyle that she won't even listen to any of my friends. So it's reached a point where there's no point in even trying to convince her of anything. So most times I just pacify her. My parents feel the same way that their not 100% sure that I'm a transsexual either, but it's not up to them  to judge who I am.

No win answer to your question Stephanie, my mother just likes to get involved in a lot of things, and sometimes I think it's beyond her ability. But I also think that it's simply that she likes to hear exactly what the therapist is saying instead of hearing  a washed down version. My mom has no legal authority over me due to my accident, but I will be checking these things out with her soon.

Harper is right. My mom is really pushing to declare me incompetent in all sorts of fields, and even though she doesn't want to do it, she is coming very close to getting a court order for me. 

I am right now seeking help through the Transgender Law Center as advised by Harper.

Thanks for being so supportive 

Gina

Very interesting information Harper. My mom was just telling me today that the only reason that she's keeping the business going is because of the medical for me. My father just found out that his heart has a problem that will be corrected next year, and already I'm getting the guilt trip that if I cause any additional stress, it will kill him. So she's told me that if she doesn't have the work for me, she can simply let me go with no reason due to the right to work law here in Florida,  I can't sue her for wrongful dismissal, or unless I've missed something. But since I have gender dysphoria, that may save me in court. I'll be seeing my neuropsychologist next week, and he's already declared me menatally incompetent. My mom tells me that I am sick and that she wants to help me. I told her that there is a difference between being sick and being mental, but that's another story.  Right now she'd feel better if we were divorced. 

Gina

It's a family thing Harper.

Today I saw my neuropsychologist with my mom, and  they got into an argument. He was telling her that she never acts on anything that she says that she'll do, which is true. There's been a lot of threats, but that's it. One comment that she had made to me afterward was that she wishes that she had never had me, and that hurts  , just because I'm not turning out to be exactly what she wants me to be, she's almost rejecting me. She says that if I were gay, she could handle it better, but she doesn't want another daughter, since she already has two. Hmm, isn't that being selfish? I'm at a point right now, where I may just pack up everything that I own and leave. . .

Gina

Hang in there Ginna.
It's got to be hard when your mother says things tlike that.
She must be very confused and hurting too.
Your not alone.
Jillieann

Thanks Melissa, my parents actualy do think that I have choosen this lifestyle more than it's choosen me. My neuropsychologist calls it "nonsense", which really didn't make me feel too good. But perhaps he can't see past it from a textbook case. 

Thanks for your kind words Jillieann. I do truely believe that my mom is more confussed than I am, and yes perhaps she is hurting, but taking it out on me the way she does isn't going to resolve anything. Weather they like it or not, I'm going to be transitioning, and I will be come their daughter. 

Gina

I also checked, and unfortunatelly, without a contract, I cannot collect a severence package. Florida has a right to work law, which simply means that if my employer doesn't like anything about me, it's his / her option to fire me with no reason. So I'm up the creek without a paddle . . .

Gina

Gina:

I'm impressed with how strong you sound during this difficult time.   I am proud of you and hope I have your courage to withstand all the negative crap I'm sure is awaiting me around the corner.

I wish you well, Molly

Thanks for your vote of confidence Molly. It's been a really tough struggle. Right now my mom has reached the end of the rope and she will be helping me to look for a place for me to live, 'cos she can't live with me anymore and to her I am dead, and she will remember all the good times that she's had with me, but she says that time is a healer. Strange thing though is that I will be still working at her company. Go figure???

I went and saw my GP today and my mom told him that I don't understand that I have a problem, and he agreed that I don't understand . My brain is more or less telling me that I don't have a problem, so technically that makes me INSANE!

Gina

*smile*

Insane is the only sane way to be dear.

From my outsider's perspective, which is missing many of the details, my opinion is your problem is those around you.

Some of your decisions seem a bit rash, but otherwise sane and logical.

Just make damn sure *YOU* think and do not let anyone else think for you.

Hang in there kiddo.

Hi Gina:  Thank you for the wonderful message you sent me.  I tried to respond via email but I can't figure out how to do it.

I am deeply sorry you have to experience so much hardship.  I'm glad the members at Susans are giving you comfort and support.  We all need that.  Keep a positive attitude and some day you can look back with pride on how much you have accomplished - not that you haven't accomplished alot already.

Molly

Thanks for making me smile Kimberly  . So you actually believe that my decisions are sane and rational. I wish you could talk to my mom and all my doctors. They actually believe the opposite.   But believe me with all that's going on around me, I try to stay 100% focused and I try to do my own thinking. Perhaps ypu'd like to PM me and let me know what's on  your mind if you don't want to publically announce it . . .

Gina