I was making copies of a girl friend's nephews wedding. The attire was formal, gals and guys all looking good. The separation of sexes; the gender wedding roles, party games, etc. etc, where all black and white. I can't think of any other situation where your presentation as a male or female is going to be more scrutinized.

Would you avoid going to a wedding at all costs? I think I would

I went to my brothers wedding and it went fine.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on May 23, 2014, 10:13:06 PM
I went to my brothers wedding and it went fine.

Yeah but you pass! I guess I should say, if you are androgynous, how would you present at a wedding?

Wear a grey suit with heels?

I may pass but I was still there with people that knew me when I was living as a male.... lol

Imagine a tough 100 person crowd dressed similar to this:









How would you present androgynously?

No. But I'm stubborn

Eh, too much color in the dresses and a couple of those suits look like they were actually tailored by someone who know which end of a needle to thread.  Grey suit wouldn't be much fun!  Suit with heels though does sound awesome. 

Evelyn, does your brain ever hurt!?  This is a total compliment BTW.  Reading through here you are insightful, just slightly off the wall, pervasive, and almost always still remain relateable to everyone it seems.  Is there a line waiting to here you talk?  I really hope that all came out right, I kinda feel a bit awkward now.

I filled in as Mother of the Bride for my late GF at her eldest daughters wedding last July.. Had a blast.. Yeah, some people knew, but most didn't and seemed to have no clue.

Oh I would love to be invited to a wedding, even if it was one where people new me before!

The last one I went too was a wedding for my niece in early 2011....it was right at my in-between stage but still presenting male.. I did decide to wear some striped socks and these type shoes. The rest was 100% male clothing, black slacks, solid collard shirt and my hair was in a short pony tail. I felt really awkward going but wanted to finally have a little fun. When I arrived no one recognized me, and after they were told by me or someone else who I was, I was talked too as if I was ill LOL It got even stranger, as I waited at the end of the bar to get served, I mentioned to the guy next to me that they should have more than one bartender. He then proceeded to call the bartender down our way by saying "she" would like to be served. I was like are you kidding me!! Now what the hell are people going to think!!

I avoided all picture opportunities and I think I did fairly well since I just recently seen some from this wedding and only seen my arm in one pic.
The bouquet throwing and the garter toss was a really strange time, I wasn't invited in the bouquet toss (thank God) but it was awkward standing there watching the garter toss. Thank God no one asked me to go out for that either!! I did leave early since I didn't have the fun I expected to have, the last straw was when I needed to use the restroom and was looked at very strangely when using the men's room.

I'm torn on weddings. Love love love them. Seeing people so happy, I don't know just fills me with joy. But right now my younger brother and his future wife are planning their wedding. It isn't until November but I am honestly scared to death to attend it. He had intended for me to be his "best man" in their super catholic wedding but now I am not so into being a man at anything. I don't expect to be in the wedding at all. And that doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that everyone there will have known me a male. I mainly worry that I could some how cause a scene, or in some way take away from their day. If they invite me I plan to go as andro as I can if they are worried to. I won't bring up my worries to them but it is something that is weighing on me. 

i only been to one wedding and i said i would never go to one again or i'd make everyone's life miserable lol. sry, cant do formal xD

Quote from: Michaela Whimsy on May 23, 2014, 10:52:49 PM
Eh, too much color in the dresses and a couple of those suits look like they were actually tailored by someone who know which end of a needle to thread.  Grey suit wouldn't be much fun!  Suit with heels though does sound awesome. 

Evelyn, does your brain ever hurt!?  This is a total compliment BTW.  Reading through here you are insightful, just slightly off the wall, pervasive, and almost always still remain relateable to everyone it seems.  Is there a line waiting to here you talk?  I really hope that all came out right, I kinda feel a bit awkward now.

See:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,163256.msg1417045.html#msg1417045



It's the E. I just can't shut "her" up!!!

I think I'm really in my element around these parts. Just never been more comfortable and open about stuff, lately.

That is a really good question!  I have two weddings coming up in the next year....one that I am expected to be a part of.  I suppose if I am passable and I am accepted by them after I come out, I will go.  Like Hayley, I would worry about becoming a spectacle or a distraction on someone else's day though.  I love and hate weddings.  I love to see people so happy and all of the love that is present, but the strong gender divisions and dress always makes me really sad.

Looks like a bit of late party dancing. It's obviously clear who's boy and who's girl here.

But for the one in-between. I wonder what they would look like. (I wonder what *I* would look like).

If you're the word ninja, I guess I'm more of a word butcher using here instead of hear.

Sorry for the off topic. 

The hard part about a wedding, I think, would be trying not to be the distraction that people remember the wedding by, if the people are real serious their wedding is a huge deal to them probably.  A friend of mine who had a big NYC wedding was really offended that one girl wore pants,  nicely dressed but pants.  She is very traditional though.  I have heard about those pants a few times. 

I suppose fit one gender or the other and add just enough flair to leave people guessing, but not talking.

The last wedding I went I felt terrible.  It was my cousins shotgun wedding.  I was no where near the thought of going out as female at that time I was dressed male.  I definitely overdressed.  I should have stopped at wal-mart on the way there and closed my eyes while i pulled clothes off the rack and just go ahead and leave the cow dung on my boots.  What better chance to look awesome then a wedding right?  No one said anything there, but there were jokes about it a few months later...   
Love/hate weddings...

I just photographed a wedding last week. Everyone couldn't stop telling me how I was working my ass off, and I made over $120 in tips. I've never been tipped previous to my transition. *shrug*

I absolutely love weddings, but over the last few years I have found them to be really triggering.  Too many things to think of like, how I feel I should have been married by now, thoughts about which wedding dress, wedding plans..everything.  It also doesn't help when I found out I was snubbed out of a close highschool friend's wedding, that one really stung, and I honestly hope that non of you girls would have to go thru that.

Black slacks and jacket over a white woman's blouse with open neck and bling? Could be something a woman would wear...might fit the andro look?

I haven't been to many weddings, but have been in guy mode for all*. Am expecting to go to one later this year and, oh god, I can't wait!!

*Actually, I lie! Just remembered I went to the wedding of two friends as Julie during my first attempt at transition. Now here's the thing - I knew the bride and groom from uni, I don't know if the bride told her folks or not, presumably she did. Apparently after the wedding her father referenced me and said "that is how I feel too"... and transitioned to female!

I think its best if everyone avoided weddings. People should just cohabitate as  desired, less issues down the road.

Done my best to avoid them,3 weddings in 56 years(school friend 1981,sister 1983,nephew 2013) is pretty good going