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How do you know that you are ready for SRS?

Started by Tiffany, May 24, 2014, 08:25:40 AM

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Tiffany

Hi ladies,

A sister had her SRS date fixed in Dec 2014, so she begin to freak out. So i told her that she need to know that she is ready.

so the question is that, so ladies here, who are already had your or had a SRS date. how do you know that when you are ready for SRS?

Thank you ladies :)
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Monkeymel

Mine is in 9 weeks. So I still have time to freak...

But in reality it was whilst doing a two week residential course in massage therapy - when we are all in underwear and I hadnt told anyone. 2 instructors guessed but most participants didn't. I just felt like u couldn't relax... After booking the dates I had an Easter weekend of tension - but am now calm and peaceful. It feels right. It fits easily with job events in my life.

As my therapist wrote in the referral - I had been investigating options for a few years and had not rushed into anything. But once a decision is made I don't look back.

Good luck to her - and hope she finds her inner peace
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Cindy

You know, when there are no doubts, even in your secret life.
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Megan Joanne

Only things I'd freak about would be that I'd be worried something would go wrong, that there'd be complications with the surgery or the doctor would do a really terrible job. Otherwise I'm ready. If I had the money now, right now I'd be getting everything prepared. I tell you, I'd have so much anxiety I'd be a mess, the whole process of therapists, letters, travel plans, as well as the waiting would kill me. I knew I was ready way back when I first knew that I wanted to live my life as a woman. I looked at myself in the mirror and yes, you can do this, time to come out, tell everyone who you really are inside, show everyone that you can handle it, that is not just a fleeting phase I was going through. While it has been a rocky road while on (and off) of HRT, still I've been handling it all far better than when I was living and looking like a guy. I am a woman afterall, always have been, and knew this with all my being. If steps hadn't been made to put me where I am now, perhaps I would have been dead. I thought all things through completely from the beginning, just wish I would have done better to secure myself a really good job - but what, that's where I'm lost.
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Donna Elvira

I'm twelve weeks from surgery and after a bit of excitement when I fixed the date and sent the deposit a few weeks ago, I guess I'm as calm as anyone could be when counting down for major surgery which requires two to three months convalescence when all goes well. There is some real fear/apprehension about the surgery itself but other than that, I'm really very serene. I guess that's one way of knowing that you're ready, no?

To be honest, I've known I would go down this path from the day I knew I was going full time as I just couldn't imagine myself living as a woman in every dimension of my life, having all my official documents saying I was a woman and yet still have that male bit hanging around.

Like Samantha said above, after that, it was just down to the logistic issues of getting it done, finding the time and finances to cover both the costs of the surgery and the recovery period.

The required opening came a couple of months ago and I just went for it...
Hope that helps
Donna
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alabamagirl

I've always wished I had the opposite of what I have down there, so I think that's a pretty strong indication.

I'd think a bit of freaking out after setting a date would be normal. After all, it is a major surgery. As others have said, a lot goes into it. Travel, expense, some degree of worry about things going wrong, the recovery time after... If someone could remain 100% calm throughout the entire process, that's what would seem odd to me. So, I'm not sure your friend isn't ready just because she's freaking out a bit.
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บ้านสิริรอดชีวิต

#6
For me, I always knew that I intended to have SRS in the future, but when I first started transitioning it was low on my priority list. My number one concern was passing, followed by breast growth; why would I spend money fixing something almost nobody will see? I slowly started filling up my savings account, figuring I'd get surgery once I'd saved up enough.

However, after a while the little concerns piled up. Mostly little things at first: being able to fit into tight clothes without a bulge; being afraid to use women's facilities; fear that I might get sexually assaulted and my anatomy would turn things even worse, or that I might sustain a life-threatening injury and have healthcare workers refuse care to me. And I really wanted to change my birth certificate, something my home state requires SRS for.

But most of all, I think, was my urge to shut off the flow of testosterone. That was why I knew I absolutely needed surgery. (And an orchiectomy would have been a waste of money, in my mind, since I still wanted full SRS in the end.)

As soon as I had enough in cash for the surgery (~$10,500) two years later, I immediately reached out and scheduled a date. By that point I couldn't even wait to save up for transportation, lodging, and other costs, and took out a $5,000 line of credit to pay for those. I'm now three-months post-op, and I'm absolutely glad I did.
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Vicky

At 15.5 months post now, I cannot tell you exactly when I was ready, other than as they were putting my feet into the stirrups of the table and things went fuzzy and cold, I choked on my last chance to bug out of it.  (A person scheduled before me to have the surgery had pulled the plug in the OR, and wanted out.) 

At 24 -36 hours later, I had big time regrets, and I mean the most terrible kind, but when some pain meds and another sedative checked in, and I had a good cry and nap, those doubts were gone.  I have other sisters who also have reported the 36 hour cry, so I was not alone there.

I am certain now that I was ready years ago in my spirit, but logical minds tend to be several years behind that kind of stuff.  Keep the course clear, and if you make it to the day, you will know it is time.
I refuse to have a war of wits with a half armed opponent!!

Wiser now about Post Op reality!!
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Julieb1

I booked my surgery after xmas and my flights had a tearful moment as it meant the end was near.

was I ready dont know I had the brain was in overdrive especially as I came of hormones and the clock ticked away...

got on the plane the rest is pretty sereal really speaking to the surgeon paying the money doing the bowel prep just seemed a routine thing i spoke to the shrink on the night before she didnt have any doughts even going down to the theatre i didnt want to jump off cant rember if i was even asked on the day was i sure i still want to pinch my self just to check its not a dream.

was I ready apparently so but I didnt really know then but I do know now.

xx
Postop 19th march 2014
Dr sanguan
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noleen111

I actually dont know...

For me, It just felt right.. it was time for me to be a complete woman... now almost 5 months later... very happy with the results.. I still cant believe I actually have a vagina .. I still catch myself staring at my little cookie between my legs when I naked after I get out of the shower (I have full length mirror in the bathroom).. and I get all excited again..

Dilation is a pain in beginning .. but it's now part of my routine.. so it does not really bother me...
Enjoying ride the hormones are giving me... finally becoming the woman I always knew I was
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suzifrommd

I knew when I was able to go through the entire list of possible complications and bad results that I'd ever heard about a transgender woman having from SRS and say "I can live with that" to all of them.

Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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BebekArzu

hi


4 weeks post op here :),

I knew I was ready when I was fed up with not being able to get too close to the guys I was attracted to,

I again knew I was ready when I was so sick of tucking in

hope this helps :)

x
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Apples Mk.II

When my therapist says I am ready, I guess. She says I still need a bit more of mental strenght and confidence in order to go with the proccess and the post-op recovery.


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noleen111

Quote from: BebekArzu on May 29, 2014, 02:34:42 AM


I again knew I was ready when I was so sick of tucking in



I don't miss tucking at all... its nice to put on my panty and pull it up... no making sure it looks right...
Enjoying ride the hormones are giving me... finally becoming the woman I always knew I was
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Apples Mk.II

Quote from: noleen111 on May 31, 2014, 11:09:50 AM

I don't miss tucking at all... its nice to put on my panty and pull it up... no making sure it looks right...

I'm clearly wanting to miss tucking right now... All my gaffs are drying and I'm using the backup plan: The old waistcincher. And I am not as skinny as when I used it. Urgh.
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AnnahM

That's a good question. I had my SRS (GRS as they call it in Montreal) with Dr. Brassard in 2004. I had been living full time for several years prior to booking the surgery (they had a waiting period of almost 2 years) and had been growing weary of tucking and stressed that I couldn't date "as me" until things were fixed. It wasn't until I had lived that way that I finally realized that more than wanting it, I needed to have surgery so that I could simply feel "normal."

Now, after 10 years, it remains one of the best things I've ever done.
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Colleen Corrigan

I am 20 now and I am 2 weeks from getting my srs. I am so excited! I have been waiting for this day forever. It's totally.time for me to get my srs. It will be the best decision I will ever have done. For as long as I can remember I have felt like a woman this will help me fell more like a woman. I can't wait
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Gail20

I went about transitioning very methodically, over a long period of time. First hormones for several years. I was out socially for over 10 years. I lost my career and was concerned I would never be able to pay for GRS, but I still held out hope.  The opportunity to fund it came about and I jumped on it.  Still, as I said, I'd gone about this slowly and methodically.  There was no absolute need to do it immediately. Surgery day came and the only in trepidation I'd ever momentary felt came when I walked into the "star wars" looking, surgery room and laid down, spread eagle.

They got me all prepped, inserted an IV and I passed out. I woke up and immediately knew something was not right. It turned out they'd stopped my surgery because of an irregular heartbeat.  I was crushed and immediately began sobbing. That is when I knew, with certainty, that GRS was "absolutely the right thing,and necessary" for me.  A week later I had my surgery . . .

Some rush through and have this need to get everything done in 18 months or 2 years, etc.  I had none of that, but yes, it was truly just as important, right and necessary for me. . .
"friends speak for you when you can't speak for yourself" :)
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GingerVicki

I have to wait another 8 1/2 months to get to a year and I think about when I getting rid of them daily. It is not obsessive, but the ransom thought comes in. Honestly, they annoy me. I am so ready on so many levels.
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CynthiaAnn

Quote from: Vicky on May 24, 2014, 08:54:26 PM
(A person scheduled before me to have the surgery had pulled the plug in the OR, and wanted out.) 


Unbelievable Vicky ! Who would have known, getting that close.

Having been there in the Mills Peninsula OR, I remember that morning so crystal clear, all the logistics, all the preparations, I was so ready at the point, and recall being disappointed that my CA sterilization form required was not faxed over just yet to the hospital from the Dr's office. I had to wait 10 more minutes for that !! I remember having a pleasant conversation with anesthesiologist and she asked me "why are you here?", and I told her "I need to get to the other side, and to please make my outtie an innie  :)

I remember a certain time telling myself I would not reach this point in transition. I rationalized I could be happy without surgery at one point, I was wrong back then. Certain things were really bugging me the longer I lived in the role. I experienced a rising tide of body dyshporia, and I had to do it in my mind, I set the wheels in motion in late 2014 getting my approval letters in order, and I secured my date (paid my deposit) in early 2015, there was no turning back, no doubts in my mind.

So happy I did today, I can get dressed, shower, and not be repulsed. So awesome to see my lower body in certain clothes.

Thanks so much Dr Bowers, you gave me a much better life today and body love (not to be taken for granted)

Cynthia -
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