Quote from: christopher on May 24, 2014, 02:07:25 AM
thank you. I don't want to make this thread about me, since I'm not the one that started it but I do appreciate your comment. Intellectually I know it takes time and it will come and all that. It's just been a hard week on a lot of levels. So, I will hold on to "it Will get better" and get through the now.
Does it help to know that it's completely normal to have "those weeks"?
Barring some inescapable catastrophe (and most catastrophes only seem inescapable), you should do fine. I'm not saying those day/weeks/etc... will completely go away (they rarely completely go away, and I'm actually suspicious of people who claim they *never* get them, anymore) but you're more likely to get less of them, and less of them still with every year. If it helps, the mantra of "one day at a time" helps out sometimes, cos until the next day arrives, that's all you have, focus on that and what is within your power to improve your mood --life is more about managing what comes to us in the best ways we can than about "making it happen", like so many insist. Sometimes bad days, weeks, or months, or even years come at us, and there's little we can do to fix it --maybe you're stuck in a job for reasons, but you can come home and watch a DVD that always lifts your mood a little, or maybe you sold the DVD player of computer to make the rent, so you can at least play with your cat or dog --or maybe you have allergies, so maybe going to the library or "window shopping" at the mall or downtown shops might help.
The misgendering hurts, I'm certainly not going to deny that, but sometimes shifting focus from that to something more pleasant can help. And for a lot of people, working on being assertive of one's prefered pronouns in public really does help --and if you can't do that at the cashier at Ralph's/Kroger yet, invite a friend to do some role-playing exercises in it, it certainly couldn't hurt.
Quote from: Whynaut on May 24, 2014, 12:38:14 PM
Hey all, I want to thank you for all the helpful comments on this thread. I'm glad I posted it because it looks like something everyone can weigh in on.
Part of my reasoning for wanting to correct people is that I am starting a career while I don't 100% pass. I need to get used to correcting people so my future coworkers don't misgender me for for the first few months before I start passing more often. Also, for my sanity, I'm sick of being referred to with female pronouns and I have no problem speaking up about it. As many people have suggested, I think a quick, polite correction will work the best for me as I don't want to be rude or start an argument with anyone over this topic.
Again, these responses are awesome and have helped me build the confidence to advocate for myself. I'm sorry I seemed to post this and disappear, but that's an unfortunate symptom of being a graduate student.
Oh, working on your studies is an excellent reasoning for neglecting Internet fora for periods of time.
