It's been over a year since I came out as FtM. Most of my "friends" were "supportive." Very few were true to their word, and call me by whatever is my Facebook name. My friends that know me through online chats call me by that name as well as using male pronouns. But everyone else? They force the female pronoun onto me. I've never tried to correct because I'm too afraid of being rude, too shy, and just plain anxious to bring up it up. Very few people at my new school know about it, but only one (one of my few true friends) actually uses male pronouns, and tries her best to correct herself if she uses the wrong one. I nearly ran into a bathroom, not caring what gender it was built for, and cried because a couple people signed my yearbook saying stuff like "you're an awesome girl" type stuff. I was shaking pretty bad, feeling extremely low of myself, had absolutely no self esteem, and felt like a pile of poo. I have very few friends that I can pour my heart out to on this stuff, and I don't think any are online right now... I've been feeling really bad about it lately, having constant thoughts like, "Do I pass as a male?" "Do I dress manly enough?" "Am I too androgynous or am I just a freak of nature that is like part female and part male?" I wish I could just rant on it more, but I hate feeling like a burden to people, and I also don't like to make them feel like that they have to listen to me and help me. I don't even care if they're listening to it, as long as I'm not being judged. I've been rather low about it...

I hadn't noticed this post, I often just keep hitting the recent topics button. So its easy for me to miss some posts. it been a while so I was wondering. do you feel any better?

Quote from: ButterflyVickster on May 31, 2014, 01:40:56 AM
I hadn't noticed this post, I often just keep hitting the recent topics button. So its easy for me to miss some posts. it been a while so I was wondering. do you feel any better?

It's fine, I miss posts as well from other forums and such.
And not necessarily. I talked to my boyfriend, just making small talk, which made me feel better. I played one of my favorite games, kicked some butt in a tomb, and actually scored some awesome kills in there, which definitely helped. But overall, I'm still kind of meh.

I know it is very tough for young men, particularly at school, but hold on to the fact that T will transform you into a striking man.
You can see that in the male before and after thread.

In the mean time just hold on to the fact that one day it will all happen and a great life is in front of you.

Hugs

Riverend, you will never be a burden. Here you are always free to rant, rave pick up your metiphorical baseball bat and swing. Unleash your firey temper and reign down like the left hand of God himself. (Sorry little over carried away for a minute).

This is a SUPPORT site as well as an information site. How are we expected to support each if we don't communicate with each other in good times and bad. Even by putting down what is troubling you, people will read it and some of us will respond with words of advice, sympathy, encouragement or congratulations.

I'm sorry school is rough at the moment but give it time life will get better slowly but eventually

Cindy: I really hope that T will help. I've seen quite a few men and their before/after pictures, and man they look great! It's one of the few things that I'm looking forward to when I'm older.

immortal gypsy: I tend to rant a lot, so I see myself posting here somewhat often. But thanks for that great description! Made me chuckle a bit. I visit a couple websites for support, so yea, I know that communication is really important. And thank you, I'm feeling a bit better now, I nearly finished a project this morning. All I have to do is burn it onto a CD for class. Now I just hope things keep looking up.

Thank you guys.

You know, I can understand how words can be so painful. That phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me," unfortunately yes they can. However, it is also in part how you look at it. For instance, have u ever tried nicely asking these people to call you the way you want? Perhaps they aren't doing it to be mean, and if you just ask them, they will call you what you want. If you just stand there and say nothing, then it won't change anything. But besides just that, what's really important is rather than focus your mind on those who don't call you what you want, focus your mind on those who do. And most importantly focus on what you think of yourself as well. If you can be happy with yourself, you can be happy with others. And then even if people continue to call you incorrectly, at least you will have plenty of friends who do care about you, and call you a man.