When I was first becoming aware that I was transgender, I was very skeptical about transitioning. I was afraid of the label of being transgender and how I would be treated, and I was also struggling to accept myself and who I really was. I ended up being on low dose hormone therapy for over two years because I at least knew I didn't like testosterone and I didn't want my body to get any more masculine than it already was. But it just wasn't enough. I reached the point where I had to admit to myself that being male was requiring me to pretend to be someone I wasn't, and that in and of itself was still making me miserable. And you know what I've found? Once you get started, transitioning isn't nearly as scary as you'd think. I have found that overall people just accept me for who I am. I don't get stared at, or notice people pointing at me and laughing. Part of that may have to do with the fact that I live near Minneapolis, which is apparently one of the most transgender friendly cities in the country. But I think that no matter where you live, if you have a strong support base with your friends and family, you can make it work. The hardest part for me was getting my family to accept my decision to transition, and I really do think having the support of your family can be the biggest factor in terms of how much of a struggle transitioning is.
I'm still far from the point of being 100% passable, and I doubt I'll ever get there completely. And I also have some bigger problems than being transgender that I'm still struggling to deal with. But I can still say without a shred of doubt, that I have zero regrets about my decision to transition. I know it's a pretty scary thing to confront, but fear quickly melts away to certainty when you are just being yourself and doing the things you want to do and saying the things you want to say without constantly second guessing yourself. It's not always easy, and I still struggle a lot with dysphoria about my body. But if it's what you really want, it really is worth it.
