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What the hell happened

Started by Tony2Toni, June 02, 2014, 01:20:48 PM

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Tony2Toni

What the hell happened???
I'm 64 years old and discovered I was transgender just last july  been slowly transitioning ever since..
I present fully as female now ..  and a couple of weeks ago I changed my name and documents..
I live with my ex-wife and 4 grown up children and I thought they were all OK with the new me.. no problems everything seemed rosy ..
Then Yesterday  my eldest daughter shes 27 .. came at me really annoyed and said  "my friend is coming around soon and I haven't told her anything about 'that' " jesturing at me .. " keep out of the way while she's here" that was bad enough then my ex-wife came at me this morning saying I want you out of this house I don't want someone like you near me ..and gave me a piece of paper with 2 weeks notice on it!!

I really don't understand whats just happened or why????
I'm dumbstruck ... why?? there was no signs of this hatred towards me before .. I don't dress very girly either .. always in trousers ..

I'm completly at a loss ... what now????
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AnneB

I'm so sorry to hear this, you just been inducted into a club none of us wanted to be in.  I pray it is just a phase.. like the moon, and that it will pass.  As for the 2weeks notice, who is paying the mortgage?

Hugs in any event.. Paula
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Tony2Toni

Quote from: Paula Christine on June 02, 2014, 01:41:47 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this, you just been inducted into a club none of us wanted to be in.  I pray it is just a phase.. like the moon, and that it will pass.  As for the 2weeks notice, who is paying the mortgage?

Hugs in any event.. Paula

The mortgage has been paid for but unfortunately in her name (that's another story)
Thanks for the concern Paula and the hugs  .. Toni ..
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Rachel

Hug,

Sorry to hear of you problem. Depending on the state you live in the house may be a joint marital asset no matter who is in the title. I would contact a lawyer now. I hope it works out but be prepared for the worst. 
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JulieBlair

Well that sucks!  You choose and disclose authenticity and ten months later the wheels come off.  If they won't talk, then the advice to get a lawyer is good.  I wish I had more comfort to give but something like this happened to me too.  We are talking, but we both have lawyers too.  Good luck girlfriend.  PM me if you need an ear.

Julie.
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
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Tony2Toni

Thanks Cynthia and Julie ..

I have spoken to my 2 daughters about every thing again .. and they seem a little bit better although they can't except it yet..
My eldest said she's always had a dream of me walking her down the aisle  when she gets married.. and what about when she has children ..and her boyfriend is quite a bigot (like I used to be)..  I can see these are real concerns for her but I think we can eventually work through it together ..

The ex-wife is another story she is completly anti.. seems when she noticed me wearing a bra that was the tipping point then she realised that it's not just a phase.. (she dosen't know about my name change yet)     It's got pretty ugly now with her..

I think the only course of action now is for me to move out .. Sad, but it's funny I'm not that upset about it anymore .. In fact I see it as a new begining .. It's all down to my new found contentment I think ..

Looks like I will need to get a solicitor  .. she says the house is in her name and wants me to move out with nothing .. even though I've ploughed thousands of pounds of my money into it with double glazing ,extensions,new garden etc etc etc .. shes always been a bit crazy but now she's off the scale ....

I've been looking at that site 'broken arrow' that someone suggested .. do you think they would be of any help in my case .. ( I live in the UK)
Thanks again Toni ..
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Taka

i think the best advice for your situation is to seek legal advice as soon as soon as possible. tomorrow, preferably.
you should protect your rights to the house by entering a notice of home rights against the property with the land registry. you've probably been married long enough for it to matter a lot. it's also important so that she won't be able to just through you out (she really can do that as things are right now, you have to get your rights registered for your own safety).

sites to look at:
http://www.divorce.co.uk/
https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/protect-your-financial-position-during-divorce-or-separation
https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/your-home-and-your-divorce-settlement
http://www.theguardian.com/money/2013/feb/15/divorce-what-happens-to-the-family-home

do use uk solicitors, they know the laws that apply to your case the best. and be the first one to seek advice, it's too late when your wife suddenly has settled everything on her own.
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LorisA

I don't have any advice, but I send me best wishes. I'm glad you see this as a new beginning and are keeping a positive outlook. Keep those spirits up!

Hugs.
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