could this almost be a trigger for us who never got this advice from mom?   For many, who didn't discover our true selves (or at least admit) until recently... there's no way she would have known, and therefore -given- us this advice on clothes, makeup, safety, etc.. I do not, for a nanosecond, hold mom responsible for any sadness this might bring up, just wish I had really said something when I was younger. 
I have not experimented with any makeup yet, other than some shimmering lip gloss (Burt's bees), but somehow feel I would end up looking like a serial killers victim if I tried.

Quote from: Paula Christine on June 02, 2014, 10:11:52 AM
could this almost be a trigger for us who never got this advice from mom?   For many, who didn't discover our true selves (or at least admit) until recently... there's no way she would have known, and therefore -given- us this advice on clothes, makeup, safety, etc.. I do not, for a nanosecond, hold mom responsible for any sadness this might bring up, just wish I had really said something when I was younger. 
I have not experimented with any makeup yet, other than some shimmering lip gloss (Burt's bees), but somehow feel I would end up looking like a serial killers victim if I tried.

It takes time Paula, you have to experiment like all young girls do!!

Though I feel the same. I wish I could of pulled myself together enough to ask my mother about these things when I younger. I try now and she does give small tips but nothing worth while.

My mother was largely a fashion disaster. I took my makeup concepts from girls in my subculture and from the media. I do sometimes wonder if I had been born properly if I would have emulated my mother and her terrible green eyeshadow matching her green sweatpants and white blouse with red cardigan. I should perhaps be thankful I didn't look to her for inspiration.

It is up to us not only to stay trendy but also what trends apply to us and our style. After all big fur coats aren't that great in the Alabama humidity nor are kikwears popular among metal heads anymore. Most fashions are not timeless.

I guess this is more makeup than fashion, so I guess it could get moved to that area if needed.. But I started thinking, is there somewhere to go get makeup tips/color recommendations based on hair/eye/skin tones? So everything compliments?   Like Dillard's, Macys, or salons, something like those to get a makeover tutorial?

Quote from: Paula Christine on June 02, 2014, 04:23:06 PM
I guess this is more makeup than fashion, so I guess it could get moved to that area if needed.. But I started thinking, is there somewhere to go get makeup tips/color recommendations based on hair/eye/skin tones? So everything compliments?   Like Dillard's, Macys, or salons, something like those to get a makeover tutorial?

Try You Tube. There's many makeup and fashion tutorials for you to choose from that are very good and educational.

Ally

I've seen those but was wanting someone to look at my colors and come up with list what colors would go with mine.

You had the right idea, go to a chain store and ask for a makeover. They will tell you the colors they used in an attempt to sell you cosmetics. Use the colors whether or not you use that same store.

Quote from: Hikari on June 02, 2014, 04:17:03 PM
My mother was largely a fashion disaster. I took my makeup concepts from girls in my subculture and from the media. I do sometimes wonder if I had been born properly if I would have emulated my mother and her terrible green eyeshadow matching her green sweatpants and white blouse with red cardigan. I should perhaps be thankful I didn't look to her for inspiration.

It is up to us not only to stay trendy but also what trends apply to us and our style. After all big fur coats aren't that great in the Alabama humidity nor are kikwears popular among metal heads anymore. Most fashions are not timeless.

*Dies laughing.

I've been kicking around the idea of making a fashion/mood board for my style. Sort of like an inspiration for my looks, what I like and how I could use that to keep building my wardrobe. I'm starting to think of myself as some kind of rebranding project. Has anybody done something like this?

OK. Common fashion mistakes, huh? I'll go ahead and state the most obvious: Bad hair. I recently revisited a crossdressing forum I used frequent, but hadn't seen a long time. It immediately occurred to me that the avatar pics there form a veritable encyclopedia a bad hair looks-- primarily bad wigs. The painful truth that is often obvious to everyone except the wearer is that it is not easy find and wear a convincing wig that doesn't make you look like a drag queen or, at least, your goofy Aunt Agnes. While a wig doesn't have to be expensive to look OK, if someone doesn't put a great deal of effort into selection, care and styling, it's going to look phoney-- costume party phoney. I don't know how many times I've seen someone on the web who would look quite normally female if they just hadn't topped off their look with an obviously plastic-looking wig.

I would say the rule is to do one of the following: A. Wear you own hair if at all possible. Learn to care for and style it super well. B. If that's not possible consider a high quality professionally fitted hairpiece. C. Go to a good professional wig dealer and get one fitted and styled to suit your face. Learn to care for and style it well. D. Learn everything you can about hairstyling and wigs before you buy some silly lump of Kanekalon to put on your head.

A camera is a most useful tool when it comes to this stuff. Take a pic of yourself, then put on the computer next to pics of people with hair you'd like to resemble. This can be humbling, but it's better than displaying your hair mistake walking down Main St.

~ Lyric ~

Hmmmmm

Not sure I can particularly comment on the makeup area...I generally keep is super simple most of the time due to being super pale and wearing glasses...doesn't exactly leave much room for flair with the eye makeup

What I can strongly recommend though is researching how to put together a solid "Capsule Wardrobe". Too many girls buy one item without thinking on how it will go with others. They become fascinated with a specific style of dress or jeans or shoes or whatever, normally because  they have always coveted it, or it represents femininity to them. The problem is that they don't consider on how it will fit in the greater picture of their wardrobe on a day-to-day basis.

This is where some girls end up with enormous miss-matching wardrobes that cost them a fortune to maintain and they can never "Find anything to wear".

Transitioning is a hard enough job as it is! Buy fewer better quality articles of clothing that work together first.

Once you build a solid capsule wardrobe, going full time and managing your clothes is so much easier.


My other big suggestion is researching "Colours and Composition" and how it applies to clothing and creating illusions.

Fashions come and go, and cultures differ vastly in their styles and trends. So the most important things to learn are not specific rules about how to dress for your age, or in punk or hippy styles etc, but how clothes in general can be used manipulate the eyes of the viewer and cause illusions.

Eyes naturally follow lines and contrast, so try and have lines that point down and away from your shoulders etc, or towards areas you want to emphasise. This can be done with hanging necklaces, neck lines, scarves, belts and any other number of things.

Light colours make areas look larger, dark colours make areas look smaller. Manipulate this to shrink and emphasise areas as you desire. A dark coloured short sleeved open cardigan over a bright vest top or blouse can cause the shoulders to shrink and breasts to appear larger.

Become an illusionist

Once you know these basic concepts, you can put together an outfit for any style. Hippy chique, punk rock, business woman, the same rules of colours and composition apply across the board.

it's not a competition though, lots of cis girls don't have a clue either, just wear what you like (:

Quote from: sad panda on June 12, 2014, 10:36:36 AM
it's not a competition though, lots of cis girls don't have a clue either, just wear what you like (:

The best advice I've seen so far. Also you'll learn with experience. There's enough pressure on us already. Wear what makes you feel good within reason for your body type.

Best wishes.

Ally

Quote from: sad panda on June 12, 2014, 10:36:36 AM
it's not a competition though, lots of cis girls don't have a clue either, just wear what you like (:

Quote from: Allyda on June 13, 2014, 11:26:52 PM
The best advice I've seen so far. Also you'll learn with experience. There's enough pressure on us already. Wear what makes you feel good within reason for your body type.

Best wishes.

Ally

Hmmm.

While I approve of the above sentiments, and wish that we lived in such an idyllic world where we could all go about our business wearing whatever we like without being judged for it...the sad truth is that it is a competition in a way...

In this world...people, other women especially, do judge each other on clothes and fashion sense every day.

Like you say, there are plenty of cis women who have little to no fashion sense...but even they do tend to stand out in a crowd and draw the ire and snickering of the more fashion concious women out there.

Now of course there is nothing wrong with that, if somebody wants to stand out, doesn't care about the opinions or comments of strangers, and has the strength and confidence to hold their head high and walk through the daily hail of negativity, then more power to them.

You should always aim to do what makes you happy, cause what's the point in living otherwise?

But most trans women just want to be like every other woman, to look good and blend in to society at large as the woman they always wanted to be. They simply don't want every time they step out of their door to include a silent war on social standards and the mental exertion of saying "Screw you people, I do what I want, you can't judge me" to the wider populace of the criticising and harsh world.

Sometimes you just want to go to the store without having everybody on the street glaring or inspecting you.

But, to blend in, one needs to understand fashion, and how to dress correctly for your age and body shape etc.

If you are a trans women who is trying to blend in, especially when going through the awkward stages of transition, the last thing you want to do is draw more attention to yourself. There are countless problems with being trans that you cannot easily fix...build...voice...body language etc are all hard or impossible to manipulate and/or disguise. So why would you want to add poor clothing choices into the mix, when all it takes is some simple tips and advice to fix?

In these cases, trans women have to learn fast and hard when it comes to fashion. We are oft times new to it, and have not experienced decades of trial and embarrassing teenage error to discover the fashion styles that suit us and those that don't.

So that's where threads like this are a very positive force in my opinion. By pooling information and experience together in this manner, we can provide simple fashion tips and advice to struggling trans women, that can potentially save them huge amounts of embarrassment and hurt during what, as you said, is already an extremely stressful time.

In my opinion, saying "Just wear what you want" etc is not helpful to these women, and in some cases actively damaging to them.

If somebody is searching for fashion advice and tips to blend in, these types of phrases often make them feel like they are giving in to peer pressure, that they are less of a woman or that they should simply be "stronger","more confident" or "Stand Proud", which are all very difficult mental states for many people to enter, especially during the early days of transitioning...when all they really wanted was some quick fashion advice...

So yes...I agree with your sentiments. You should aim to become confident in yourself, and not need to rely on fashion to get through the day. But it's rarely as simple as "Just wear what you want and you'll be fine"