Over the past going on 4 months now since I started transitioning, I've began to notice a pattern. When out in public to strangers I'm noticing I'm getting clocked and misgendered more so by women than men. To the contrary, males have actually been normally the only ones who gendered me correctly.

Anyone else notice something similar to this or have had this experience?

I find that interesting... as it is usually women who gender me correctly, and men who need not do more than stare rudely to know they are clocking me. Women for the most part treat me as another female, while men for the most part give me this "shoot it before it breeds" look >_<

Ive only noticed that women stare at me more

I went through a period where I got stared at by guys a lot; then it switched to getting stared at by women a lot. Now no one seems to take notice of me - I have no idea why all of the staring started and then stopped a few months later. I'm in month 9 of HRT.

Same here, Hex. When I get misgendered it's almost always by women. The few times men have misgendered me since I started going male full-time, it's been when I'm out with my partner and he's opening the door or something. I think it may be because guys are more likely to assume that I'm just a boyish girl than that we're gay guys, but it's just a theory.

Overall though, women are definitely the ones I've found scrutinizing me to figure out my gender even though it's obvious that I want to be seen as male. Guys don't really seem to care and (in my experience) are more likely to go with whatever your presentation is even if they're not sure, whereas women are more likely to play gender detective. Judging from this thread, it seems like it's usually the opposite for women, though. /:

I'm pretty sure men started gendering me correctly before women did. The first passes I can remember are people saying stuff like "man", "hey buddy." I'm not entirely sure what it is.

I also noticed, that women are more likely to clock a transperson and I think it is because women in general tend to pay more attention to details and have better vision too. Also, they usually are more polite and even if they've clocked you, probably wouldn't tell you, because of compassion and/or understanding, while men don't care that much about other's feelings, especially about "weirdos"...
Not sure if it is all true, but it is the only logical explanation I could find

I noticed that men started gendering me correctly much sooner than women did... but as for stares and clocking, I don't really know.

I don't pay attention to women when I'm out in public, because I'm generally eyeing up all the guys.   So if women were clocking me, I probably wouldn't notice (or, frankly, care), but I would notice if some guy clocked me, and I'd feel hurt and invalidated because of it. That used to happen quite often when I was in that awkward intermediate stage between starting my transition and T taking effect properly, but thankfully it is much less common now.

I haven't really kept stats on it but I notice I get a mixed reactions from both men and women, I just be myself and try not to worry on it too much

DEFINITELY. Right now, I am being read as male about 98% of the time and most of the people who misgender me are women. I think women may be reading little cues more so than than  males.

--Jay

I only get misgendered on the phone these days. Twice yesterday.  Ma'am by one guy, and then today when I saw him in person he said he spoke to my wife yesterday.. uh, no that was me.  And the other one was Oh, I see we have that account under the name Jay.  Should we add yours, too?  Uh, *I* am Jay...  Thank you and have a nice day! And she hung up, no apology.  Sigh.

I don't know who clocks me more, but cisguys have always been the ones to be a*holes about it.   Do I threaten you by simply existing?  Do I make you question something?  I don't get it.

As long as you don't want to beat me, rape me or dispose of me in a ditch, it really makes no difference to me at the end of the day.

Um, I don't even know if I should say this, but, really, women treat me great. I talk to women all the time now at completely random times about completely random things, usually female type stuff: being preggers, men, kids or just whatever. Men, uh, well last night I walked to get Chinese and some dude asked if he could come back to my place and fu^k me. I told him yeah, my BF would love that. He wouldn't. But most men are nice.

This is really interesting to me, when I think about it.  When I was first starting out, it was usually (though not always) guys who misgendered me.  But now that I'm a few years into my transition, I'm finding that I actually pass more often with guys.  They guys I've dated are often surprised when I tell them about my situation, I've been flirted with before, you know-classic objectifying behavior that can only mean one thing: Yay, passing!

With girls, it's always different...I've had more than one cis female friend mention my gender in conversation.  When dating, female-assigned people clock me immediately-though I'm not sure if that's because they're female or because they're queer.  Even though they're generally more understanding about things, it irks me how often other gals can tell! 

Hmm, yeah, I haven't experienced being clocked before but when living as a cis boy I was almost always mistaken for a girl by guys, women only mistook me for a girl back then if i had my hair up. I think women have a lot more trained eyes when it comes to appearance, plus men tend to be kinda aloof and may not even take a food look at people

To follow up more previous post, I still don't get clocked but I did get clocked in the head a couple dozen times. See, people worry about clocking but that's just stares and sticks and stones and all, but for me, when my BF's roommate got jealous or whatever cause men liked me, and she told people I told her not to tell cause of what the repercussions could be, she did anyway and I almost died.

People think passing is all rainbows and butteflies, but when peeps from where I used to live, moved out for good yesterday from North Philadelphia at 20th and Susquehanna (Google street view it and you'll see how bad it is). My BF and I went back to out parents to regroup.

But back to the point, these guys were attracted to me and when they found out I was not FAAB, they tried to kill me. They beat me within an inch of my life. I awoke in an ambulance, clinging to life. Sometimes I think if I din't have my hormones on me, maybe they wouldn't have done it, but when they ripped that out of my purse, they were like bingo, threw the a 3 month's supply everywhere, leaving me hormoneless ('cept for the kindness of a Susan's member who helped me get by next month), the beat down began. I remember nothing after the first punch. My head exploded blood like a coconut. I have very delicate bones.

So, remember kids, passing is good, but if you pass, and live in a bad neighborhood, if you get found out, you die.

And if you live in a bad neighborhood, and you don't pass, and you walk down the street, you die.  Check your privilege, Joanna.

Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on July 04, 2014, 02:45:52 PM
And if you live in a bad neighborhood, and you don't pass, and you walk down the street, you die.  Check your privilege, Joanna.

Sorry, I don't consider being beaten to near death and left for dead because your dirt poor privilege. Yeah, maybe I pass well, though I'm far from pretty, though others may say I am, but I don't like how I am supposed to have no problems because of it and "check my privilege." Not picking on you but waking up in an ambulance is hardly privileged.

You also don't know, though how could you, I tried hard to be a boy, but was never allowed to play boys sports, hardly even allowed in the boys locker room, got picked on my whole life for looking too femme and having a too high voice, never virilizing, and barely having been able to have sex without the use of drugs.

Is that privilege? I'm practically, actually genetically, FAAB, but with a penis. This is not privilege. If I didn't pass, nobody would have cared, cause they wouldn't have been attracted to me. it's what mny BF said: if you didn't turn them on the way you did, if they didn't always hug you and try to cop a feel, this would not have happened. It sucks when something you have no control over puts you on the outskirts of the trans community, leaving you completely alone. The only people who have ever really accepted me with open arms are lesbians, but I like men, though I guess I could go the other way. I did once but ended up in an addiction cause my heart was broken so bad.

Quote from: androgynouspainter26 on July 04, 2014, 02:45:52 PMCheck your privilege, Joanna.

Are you serious?

Yes, I'm being perfectly serious here, and talking about passing as if it's such a bad thing is a little insulting to those us who don't have that luxury-it's not meant to be disrespectful, just a way of pointing that out.  First of all, you are not the only one who's been beaten that badly, you aren't the only person who faces rejection on account of their body, and you aren't at all the only one here who tried so hard to live as male and simply couldn't (even if it was for a slightly different reason for me).  I'm sorry that you've had to struggle like this, and I'm not saying that those struggles aren't valid, but you cannot deny that passing gives you a distinct advantage (or privlage) in a society that hates transgender people with a passion.

You may face rejection when you disclose, and I am so sorry about that, but some of us can't find anyone at all since our transition-I haven't been on a date let alone actually had a relationship in two and a half years, and that isolation is unbearable for me.  I can't walk down the street without being stared at, and insulted on account of the way I look.  I've been fired from more than one place that didn't want to have a trans woman on their staff.  You are facing many obstacles, and that's really horrible.  I'm just trying to tell you that even with all of those obstacles in your way, you have a huge privilege: You don't need to automatically disclose something very personal about yourself to a world that stigmatizes people like us.  You have the privilege of privacy.  I don't want to start a flame war here, and I really do respect what you've been through, and I've faced more than one of the things you describe myself.  Passing would without a doubt remove so many hardships from my life, and I just want you to understand how fortunate you are in that respect-even if there are many drawbacks to your experience as well.