even before i id'ed as a trans guy (hadn't really considered it, id'ed as a woman), i felt a strong desire for higher t levels. i would look up ways i could naturally boost my t levels through exercise, diet, etc. i felt like i should have more t, like it was something my body was craving and needed.

also i keep tabs on my moods throughout the month. when my t levels are at their highest naturally (day 1 - 8 of my menstrual cycle, give or take), i'm at my happiest. then around day 9 - 10 (when t drops and estrogen gets higher), i often start feeling depressed.

i haven't started hrt yet but yeah. maybe coincidence, i dunno. but interesting anyway. what about you guys? did your body crave t? did it seem to react badly to higher estrogen levels? or just me?

I don't think I craved T. The only times I really thought of it were when I was wondering why I'm so aggressive (it's not T related).
High levels of estrogen gave me mood swings which I mostly noticed when I was pregnant with my son. They also gave me migraines. I couldn't take birth control pills because the migraines on those were ridiculously bad.

I'm also pre-hrt, and I've had similar patterns ever since 16 or 17. My hormones were very out of whack from square one, and my doc sent me to an endocrinologist for what she suspected was PCOS. The endo noted that I had high testosterone for a girl and, thanks to my crazy mother's raving about me having too much facial hair and not being feminine enough, she put me on female hormones. Ever since then I was really screwed up with major depression, anxiety, weight gain, etc.

Only in the past couple of years have things started evening out, but I still have bouts of depression and complete lack of confidence at different times. I've heard the menstrual cycle doesn't have a notable effect on testosterone levels, so I wouldn't say it's my body craving T as much as wanting to be rid of the higher levels of estrogen, at least in my case.

I've had major depression my whole life until I raise estrogen and lowered T

I actually wanted more estrogen in my system. I hated everything about how I looked because I felt like I was so masculine I should've been a boy, and I knew nothing about being trans and I was living as a girl, so I just thought to myself, I either want to be a guy, or I want more estrogen, because I hated being in-between. I didn't want to be more girly though, I was more towards the wish of being a guy. But not actually wanting higher testosterone levels, but to be honest, I didn't know much about what testosterone does until I was looking it up when I realised I'm trans.

Several years ago, I was put on estrogen to help with horrific periods. It caused a pulmonary embolism (very dangerous).

So... I have kind of a hate relationship with the E. I'm looking forward to getting T started, but I'm also nervous.

I feel like my body needed it, because I used to have depression before I started testosterone.  I feel better now.

I had heavy, painful periods which only went away when I took an antiestrogen (progesterone), this was before coming out. That was probably the first time I had a negative association with estrogen. When I was a kid my mum would make me consume soy products, which I found out later was a phytoestrogen, and I associated that with how femme I looked (in my head, I doubt that's true medically).
I also had depression from the onset of puberty, and it miraculously went away when I started T. I didn't really know what to expect from T so I can't say I craved it, at least not before I came out.

It's interesting that so many of us have negative experiences with E before HRT. 

For me, I had severe acne before starting T that completely went away from the first shot.  I was also an emotional nutjob pre-T, but that going away may have been psychological.

Quote from: yaka on June 07, 2014, 03:40:44 AM
I also had depression from the onset of puberty, and it miraculously went away when I started T. I didn't really know what to expect from T so I can't say I craved it, at least not before I came out.

I can't help but wonder if the same will be true for me.  I actually really hope it is (would be nice to be cured).  I've been diagnosed chronic major depressive disorder which I've had since I was 12 - probably when the hormones started kicking in. I wouldn't be at all surprised.  I'm interested why the brain sometimes gets depressed with the wrong hormone pulsing through, but I bet there's an actual physiological answer for it.