I wanted to see if anyone has another person in their family who is also transitioning whether it be a sibling or other family member?

The reason why i have asked this is because I feel a bit of resentment from one of my family members who is also transitioning. Not sure how to deal with it except for distancing myself from that person which is what I have been doing?

When i first started transitioning or speaking about the idea of it I was told "you cant do that (transition), thats my thing and it wouldnt suit you". My reaction at first was WOW! For someone who is supposed to love and support you that is a low blow... When im around this person it is uneasy and their behaviour is really stand-offish towards me.

So I am still having trouble dealing with this family member if anyone has any suggestions then please let me know because the last thing I want to do is have someone disliking me because of my progress and decision to transition especially when they are transitioning too.

"you cant do that (transition), thats my thing and it wouldn´t suit you"


comparing to other trans*people i met over the past years, your situation sounds very similar than my was.
i had a friend who was also transiting at the same time i did, almost the same progress (starting HRT, Fulltime etc.) -
but still, there´was always a really strange competitive attitude in her that makes me  finally end up our relationship.
those comments from her  were sometimes really hurtful and in my opinion, she was kind of nonsensitive in the way she act with me
as a trans*person.

i´ve no suggestion for you but i found out that especially in our trans*community, there´re still a lot who are thinking transition is a competition.
probably looking better than everybody else, being faster with all the treatments etc ...
i would push the "ignore" button, be friendly and gentle as you usually are and leave her / them behind.

Yeah its the competitiveness that makes some people seem so hurtful and rude actually. Atm i just block everything out it just gets to be a bit too much at times. You totally understand my situation Thanks hun x

When I came out to my brother, he told me he was questioning whether he was transgender or not and hasn't have any conclusions yet. I told him, if he needs anything I would be there for him.

I have one friend who started transitioning 4 months before I did on HRT, but she had done some herbal things to try and boost estrogen that I think caused issues down the road. She could easily pass even before HRT, but had no breast growth at all. I ran into her an a kink party last weekend and we had not seen each other since January. It was clear that we were comparing each other, but we did complement each other. She was surprised that I had a B cup already and she was still barely an A. I told her I wished I had her hairline and she wished she had my breast size. We both did well in the hip department. So if it was a competition, then it was a friendly one at that.

Quote from: bubbles21 on June 05, 2014, 12:08:50 AM
Yeah its the competitiveness that makes some people seem so hurtful and rude actually. Atm i just block everything out it just gets to be a bit too much at times. You totally understand my situation Thanks hun x

*hihi* thxxx

absolutely!
btw, when i had my coming out within my family, a few members told us (my mom did a few of my outing especially with people she knew better than mine) that they´re already familiar with trans* issues. there are almost 3 persons (both mtf and ftm) who are transitioning in our closer family environment. i was totally surprised and finally, there were never be any problems occuring with my family relationships.
i´m absolutely happy wish you all the same !

In my family, no I don't even think I have a gay relative come to think of it. I was fortunate enough that one of my friends, though not super close, happened to FtM. And even though we font talk much, knowing they were made me feel much safer telling my friends.

My sister is very open about the fact that she feels she is 100% transgender inside (FtM). However, she chooses to live her life as a female/lesbian, which I respect and understand. However, if one day she decided to become the man she feels like inside, I would accept her as my brother without hesitation, just like she's accepted me as her sister.

It's not my place to tell anybody what to do with their body and last I checked nobody has a patent on transition. It's just a painful process some of us choose to endure for what feels like a lesser of two evils. So meh your relative sounds dumb, sorry.

As far as I know I'm the only one in my immediate family. As for the extended family I have little contact with any of them, they might have turned into giant cockroaches for all I know and no one would tell me anyway.

But I can see how it might be an issue for some people, especially if they were a bit precious and want to feel special and unique. Sometimes, when I'm talking to people about my transition I tell them about my earlier attempt 20 years ago, but I do wonder if that isn't me trying to say "I might be doing this now but I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon, OK?"... sheesh, precious indeed!

Quote from: Ms Grace on June 06, 2014, 03:23:18 AM
As far as I know I'm the only one in my immediate family. As for the extended family I have little contact with any of them, they might have turned into giant cockroaches for all I know and no one would tell me anyway.

But I can see how it might be an issue for some people, especially if they were a bit precious and want to feel special and unique. Sometimes, when I'm talking to people about my transition I tell them about my earlier attempt 20 years ago, but I do wonder if that isn't me trying to say "I might be doing this now but I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon, OK?"... sheesh, precious indeed!

What does that mean in that context? Precious? I've always heard people say that..

In that context it means someone is easily fussy/offended/upset about certain things, and not in a likeable way. It's hard to think of a specific example. Of course, if someone is a seen as "being precious" it can be a very subjective observation - for example, a vegetarian getting upset that there is meat in their food might be seen as "being precious about it" by a meat eater because they can't see what the fuss and bother is about.

Yup

Wow, well first off I'm sorry that your family member takes that view of your transition.  It seems like they would be the most supportive of anyone because they understand your situation probably better than anyone else in your family.

In my own family, my son is transitioning from female to male.  We are both very supportive of one another though I can't help but be slightly jealous of him for having the guts to transition now in his teens rather than later in life like me.    Seriously though, I love my son with all my heart, and I'm really not jealous.  I just wish I had been brave enough to live as I truly am earlier in life.  Better late than never though right?