Heya guys and gals

Ive been in the process of writing a coming out letter to my parents, and wanted to know what you think.

Im not planning on giving the letter to them for another couple of months, but would like some feedback on it.

Dear Mum and Dad

I am writing this letter to inform you of something that has troubled me for a very long time. What I am about to tell you has been a constant source of pain and unhappiness for as long as I can remember.

This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do, but I have thought long and hard about how to let you know and I feel that now is the right time.

All my life I have been suffering from a condition called gender identity disorder (GID), in other words I am a transsexual. For as long as I can remember I have felt different, and felt as though I should have been born as a girl.

I have denied this to myself and tried desperately to blend in with what society deems normal for a boy. I cannot do this anymore. I NEED to be me, and I NEED to do something about this, as the anxiety and unhappiness I am feeling has gotten too much. The only other option would be for me to carry on living a life in which I am truly unhappy, with increased feelings of self worthlessness and a true hatred of my body, and I don't know how long that would last. I have felt very depressed and have felt trapped for a very long time, and becoming the female I know I am is the only way out of this trap.

I want you to know that nothing you have done has made me this way, I had a very good upbringing and I love you both dearly. Also nothing anyone can do or say will stop me from following this path. This isn't a choice; this is something I need to do.

Gender identity disorder is a known medical disorder in which a person's biological sex (assigned at birth) is different from their gender identity (The gender someone identifies with). This leads many people to great distress and even suicide. I have struggled massively through the years with who I am, and have tried so much to fit in. I found solitude in football, and did enjoy going to watch football matches; the friends I have made through football are real friends, and I am aware that I am likely to lose many of these. I simply have no other choice.

I decided in August last year that I needed to see someone and let them know about my thoughts. I have been seeing a councillor now for about nine months, and it has been great to speak openly to someone about these feelings. In the meantime, I have come out to a few people, including Kat, Dave, Kate, and a few other friends, and they have been very supportive of me. Also I have been living as female outside of work for the past seven months. I wanted to be 100% sure that this was right for me, and it is. I am the happiest I've ever been. My confidence has risen and I have made many friends through dance classes and other social events.

As well as this I have been referred by my GP (with recommendation from my councillor) to a gender identity clinic in Sheffield, and am hoping to be seen by them this year. This will mean that I will hopefully start my physical transition next year. This will involve Hormone replacement therapy, which will feminize my face and figure. Also I will receive voice therapy and finally gender reassignment surgery (however this is a long way off). I won't lie I am terrified, but I cannot live a lie anymore. I will be looking to start living as a female 24/7 late next year. And I know this will be difficult for you, however when that time does come, I will be changing my name to Zoe. I know this won't be easy, and it isn't something I have taken lightly.

It has taken me 26 years to really understand and accept who I am, so I'm not expecting you to understand this straight away. I'm sure you have 1 million questions you want to ask, and I am happy to answer every one of them. Also there are many support sites online for parents of transsexual people, including susans.org and the Beaumont society. Please have a look at these, I think you will find them a great source of information and support. They have helped me through a very tough time in my life, so I'm hoping they will help you as well.

I have added a few photos below, of me with friends. I truly am so much happier as a woman, I have met some amazing and accepting people and am starting to finally feel complete and at ease with myself. This is the only way for me, i am female, and i need to start living as the real me.

I love you both and I hope you can one day accept me for who I truly am.

Love
Mike/Zoe.

Im gonna put a few photos at the bottom aswell, so they can see that i am alot happier and i am comfortable being Zoe.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Hugs
x

Looks good to me.

Very well written Zoe! Good job. 

Very well written. I'm glad you included that you love your parents and it isn't their fault you're trans, however there is one thing I'd suggest adding, at that would just be a mention of how other people go through this and are happy with the decision. Other than that it's perfect, and I hope when you do send it to them they'll accept you for who you really are, Zoe

I like it enough that I might have to steal a few of those lines when I write my own letter to my parents!

One nitpicky thing (might be a spellcheck issue): I think when you say "I found solitude in football" you might mean "I found solace" -- Solitude describes being alone, but you go on to talk about feelings of community and friendship so it didn't seem quite right.

But, truly, this is an amazing letter. You take a stand, speak your truth, and you are irrefutable.

Thanks for the feedback everyone
Its good to know that you all think its a good letter it gives me a bit more confidence to hand it over to my parents!

Ive written so many letters and thought aboit coming out to them so many times I know that now is the right time im so nervous but im not able to lie to my parents anymore!!

Zoe
Xx