are we being honest with our attractability?

Sorry I don't quite get the question?

Hi Evelyn.  It's nice to see you back.

I'm not sure that I understand the question.  Are you asking if trans women are allowing themselves to be attracted to others?  I think it's kind of a condition of womanhood generally that there will always be men attracted to us that we don't want to have anything to do with.  To be honest with our attractability, in my humble opinion, is to allow ourselves to be attracted only by those to whom we wish to be attracted.  Isn't it?

I mean, wouldn't a transwoman receive much more attention in gay clubs and venues vs hetero? How attractive are we really to cis men in comparison?

Which validates us as being attractive more?

Hmm, I've gotten hit on numerous times at gay bars and such, there tend to be two "types" that tend to offer me drinks, etc.

1. Gay guys that try to tell me that I must be a pretty boy and then try there best to convince me to take off my wig (I'm still growing my hair out).
2. Guys that are interested in me as I present, I'm not entirely sure what their thought process is but it's definitely not the same as the first type, probably they are pan-sexual.

In any case I don't let it go to my head or fool myself, I'm in the village in a gay bar but then again you can be attractive even if you don't present as a cis woman so I don't feel bad about it either.

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 09, 2014, 12:26:00 AM
Which validates us as being attractive more?

I don't think this can really be answered.

i pretty much get hit on every day, every second, and i even feel like i'm being watched o.o going to pride so this might actually be hell lol

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 09, 2014, 12:27:43 AM
I don't think this can really be answered.

That is a tough one right?

If I saw someone say, "I get hit on by men everywhere" I can't help but wonder what circles that person is hanging around in to receive that kind of attention.

I don't know, it strikes me as odd, as if there's more likely a different explanation.

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 09, 2014, 12:32:23 AM
If I saw someone say, "I get hit on my men everywhere" I can't help but wonder what circles that person is hanging around in to receive that kind of attention.

Could just be a load of bull from them. Men pay me some attention, but I don't poll to see if they are gay or straight myself. I don't get "hit" on so to say, but I have been winked at, some men drive beside me a while on the highway or miss a light to set beside me. 

(not meaning to derail my own thread) ...but Jessica, I would hit on you too.

I spend a lot of time around gay areas. And honesty I don't get hit on by gay men. Lesbians yes gay men no. Unless you count that one guy who danced with me. But I don't know if that counts it was ladies night at a gay bar and he was one of the few men there he was just looking for someone to dance with. But it was obvious he wasn't into me. 

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 09, 2014, 12:38:53 AM
Jessica, I would hit on you too.

The camera lies sweetie! Lies I tell you!

PS-I paid it well though.

I honestly really don't know. I'm a big flirt though and just love chatting with people so if they hit on me I might not notice it in that moment until after the convo is over. I'm a bit of ditz sometimes. I do get "hit on" by both genders a lot though. My best friend whose a guy flirts with me now which kind of gets weird lololol But we're both big flirts so it just happens naturally and I didn't realize this was happening till the other day 

I just spent all day at the L.A. Pride event. I got zero attention from the gay guys and maybe a few interested glances from the ladies. I wasn't there to try to meet anyone so I really didn't care if anyone showed interest or not.

Hmm, I think it has a lot to do with the vibe you put out too. I, for one, despise being hit on. It makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and weird. And honestly? I don't think I've been hit on in years, unless I'm being completely oblivious to it.. and I live in a college campus area, but I pretty much stay in the background and I don't go to dancey places or anything. So I just assume I'm giving off that face that says 'not interested!'. But it could also be the fact that Handy and I are always together :p clearly taken and happy! But yeah, even before (though my last experience of being single was in 9th grade haha) people never hit on me, and it's not like I'm uggos or anything, I'm quite pleased with how I look, I just don't like being looked at in an oogly way. Perhaps this has something to do with the kinds of people you're attracting? I wouldn't know how to change it, perhaps be less receptive when you get unwanted attention?

well, I never go to "gay venues" or areas. I work, shop, and come home, pretty much. But I do get flirted with by male customers more and more lately, and get the eye from some male drivers at traffic lights.
I dunno....I don't think I'm bad looking these days. I get a lot of compliments. It is kind of a double edged sword....I know that I will probably look a lot better in another year after HRT has made more progress, and maybe some light FFS. But at the same time it's kind of depressing because I would really love to date....but I refuse to do so until I am "whole" (after SRS and healing).

Gay men love me for some odd reason. I use to get freaked out by it but I am not fussed these days as I just set them straight and we move on. In the end I like women and I find it easy to be around them more than men.  When I was in my early twenties I was called pretty boy none stop which made me feel uneasy and withdrawn, although I am a old maid just having hit my 30s so I get left alone now -whew-.

Well, when I talk about it keep in mind I come from an area of the country (and time) where homosexuality is rather taboo and predominately suppressed so it seems rare, so my experience is when a gay guy (out or not) saw another "gay male" (assumed gay because of my not very well disguised feminine behaviours) they would jump at the chance to flirt.  Not sure if they where attracted or just had a moment of freedom and would seize it not knowing when theyd next get another shot.  So yeah, I wouldn't say I was more attractive to gay men than cis males, but for not being attracted to men I sure as hell got hit on by guys more than I expect straight cis males do growing up.

You're making an assumption that all transwomen somehow look like men, which isn't true. Why wouldn't some trans women be hit on a lot. I get hit on, or just commented at, not all the time, but enough to notice, and hit happens to all women. So why not me? I'm small, cute, and don't look like a man, so...why would it only be gay guys. Gay guys have never like me cause I'm to feminine. Maybe I'm misunderstanding.

I haven't got hit on although I only go to Starbucks , but I do get a lot of looks . This one gentleman was sitting with his college age daughter yesterday at Panera Bread across the room and kept looking at me. It's fun when the college guys glance at your breasts   .  Guys will hit on woman it's their nature. Of course I could be misunderstanding the question . I haven't gone to a gay bar as myself , but as a guy I use to get hit on all the time.