i should be completely honest and i apologize for not being totally open and honest about what i feel. its just if i let to many people in, i'll end up hurt and even more lost in my own misery. plus, the truth is going to be to long for me to post and i am very nervous to share it with the world(non members to the site) thus i create a semi truth story. i want to be able to tell the truth but even i'm scared of it. please forgive me and my somewhat dishonesty. if you want to know the truth, i need somewhere i can post it where only you, my family can see it and really learn the true me.