So I went to a girl friend's 30th anniversary last weekend, and it turned out interesting.
To begin with, I had planned on going in my regular mode (which is kind of androgynous but not enough to make most people notice - I've had some questions from girls, but never anything negative), since I was only out to like four of the guests. However, I happened to walk by a clothing store where they had a sale the day before the party, and I found and fell in love with a female suit jacket and pink, glittery t-shirt... so I ended up coming to the party more femininely dressed than I planned to.
The reactions were nice, mostly. I got nervous when, after the host had explained where people were to sleep and so on (she had rented a place with bedrooms), one of the guys asked where trans- and metrosexuals were to sleep. He was just joking (I know him well, he meant nothing wrong with it - if anything, he may just have been a bit shocked since I haven't met him in a while), but it made me nervous nonetheless, since the host actually had given me a bedroom to myself, since she knows I'm not comfortable sleeping in the same room with anyone at the moment. But she just ignored the comment and went on, and it didn't receive any more attention.
Later in the night, a female friend of mine came and said she had heard I'm seeing a gender therapist. I immediately panicked, asking her who had told her that. Turned out she had asked a closer friend of mine what was going on with me, and she told her. She was worried if I didn't want her to know, but I told her it was completely okay - I just wanted to know who told her, because if she heard it from someone who I hadn't told, I would have a problem since someone is gossiping!
The chat with her turned out really nice after that, though. She told me my gender therapist is related to her through marriage! It should really be obvious since she has the same maiden name as the therapist's wife, but I never thought of it before. She said she was not surprised (she'd always noticed how I have more female friends than male, and so on), and that she thought I was brave to do something about it. So the situation ended nice, even if I panicked at first.
A few hours later, I ended up coming out to another girl friend of mine, who already knew I wear only female clothing items, but who hadn't connected the dots yet. She was very supportive too. I'm really glad they both turned out to be supportive; most of my friends (including them) are Catholic, and I would describe none of them as liberal. But they're completely fine with this. It just reinforces my view that "online Catholicism" is different from the real life version. Though obviously the bigots I see online are real people too - they're just not in my circles, and I suspect they're a small minority.
I also noticed that one of my few guy friends overheard at least fragments of two of my conversations (I also catched up with another friend who knows, she's a psychologist and is also interested from a professional perspective since she has patients with gender dysphoria too, though it is not her specialty). He's extremely good at connecting dots, so I'm quite sure he has already figured me out. I should really come out to him, but at the same time, i really have no idea how to talk to men about this. Women (at least those close to me) seem to understand things like this a lot better. At the same time, keeping him in the dark while he suspects may hurt the friendship, which is something I wouldn't want to happen. I just truly don't know how to approach it.
But at least I'm very happy that those two friends now know. It also means they won't spread anything (like how I dressed at that party). I'm sure others will though, so I am kind of approaching the point where hiding isn't much point anymore.
The next big event is a three-day wedding of a friend from my middle and high school days. There will be a lot of people from my home town there, and I will definitely not buy another male suit for the occasion, nor will I cut my hair. So I'll wear something similar to what I did last weekend, but more formal (shirt-ish blouse instead of t-shirt, female suit pants instead of jeans). I'm party excited, partly terrified how people will react to my new look; it's even more noticeable for someone who hasn't seen me in a few years. Part of me can't wait, part of me wishes they would postpone the wedding until I'm completely transitioned
