Hello everyone, I've been lurking around the forums and decided to sign up. I think my reason for joining is because I'm coming out to my parents next week and would love to use these forums to make friends and have some resources ready so they know that the choice to transition was not made lightly and hopefully facilitate their eventual acceptance. My name is originally Jackie, I'm a female-to-male transgender and have been living as a female for almost 22 years now (will turn 22 this Saturday). If you guys could call me Marcel, that would be very appreciated.

So far, I've been writing letters for my mother and father so they can know my situation, realize that I was meant to be a male and help me get the body I've always been craving for. Granted, I'm already old enough to do this without them but I'm financially dependent on them; I don't want to go through this alone with just a few friends' support from a distance. In any case, I'm enjoying my last week of stability since once I drop the news, my life will be spiraling downhill and it won't be easy, at least not for the next several years but, then again, life was never easy and if I could get through 22 years of enduring societal and parental expectations of being a girl without attempting suicide, I think I can handle anything life decides to throw at me and I know that I'm not a quitter. 

Hobbies:
Music
Writing
Gaming

Games:
Pokemon
League of Legends

Hi Marcel,

I haven't been here long but I can tell you you are in the right place. The more I read here the more I find I'm not the only one so I'm sure the same will apply to you although with different variables.
Why do you anticipate your life spiraling downhill? I know it will be hard but I've heard about a lot of positive responses as well. Do you think they suspect?

Welcome to the board.

Hi Marcel 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Please be sure to review

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Hugs

V M

A big warm welcome to the family Marcel! 

Quote from: typo on June 11, 2014, 06:43:50 PM
Hi Marcel,

I haven't been here long but I can tell you you are in the right place. The more I read here the more I find I'm not the only one so I'm sure the same will apply to you although with different variables.
Why do you anticipate your life spiraling downhill? I know it will be hard but I've heard about a lot of positive responses as well. Do you think they suspect?

Welcome to the board.

They might suspect, at best, a tomboy. But I know for sure I am FTM but I guess I didn't have the knowledge when I was younger. I have tried my best to be a girl but, in the end, I just can't do it anymore. It's making me unhappy and my gender dysphoria has crippled my social functioning and potential to do great things because I always had this mentality "Why achieve when you'll never truly be a man?". There's was nothing motivating me to do good in school other than just not get kicked out of my apartment or get in trouble.

I liked girls a very young age, didn't know the labels for such things so I thought it was weird. later on, in high school, they called it lesbian so I figured that might be it. My parents are pretty old-fashioned being Spanish immigrants so they didn't let me cut my hair short or wear more boyish clothes and had me forced to wear blouses, dresses and girl sportswear and pretend that I was a relatively somewhat tomboyish girl. My mother always said "You can dress however you like when you're not with me but when you go somewhere with me, you need to look pretty." For some odd reason, I never liked the word pretty. Since I couldn't get my hair cut short or wear boyish clothing, I resorted to imaging what I would look like and I realized, even if they let me get those things, it wouldn't be enough.

And I noticed some things in the past that indicated me as feeling like a boy:

1. I played with my brother's toy cars and trucks and rarely played with dolls. When my mother saw me play with the toy cars, she would chastize me saying "You're not a boy to be playing those things."
2. One time in high school, I went out with just male tanktop (no bra and a open workshirt. Mother found out and thought I was insane.
3. I would always dream of being someone's prince.
4. I always felt jealous of my brother, who seemed so happy and parents were more lenient with him and they felt like I need protection. I don't need to be extra protected.
5. When my parents gave me pearl earrings for my birthday two years ago, I suddenly cried.

Quote from: paula lesley on June 11, 2014, 06:59:24 PM
Hey, Marcel. Good to meet you. 

Happy " real you " birthday   

<3 X

It's not until Saturday but thanks!