Quote from: Alice on September 03, 2007, 09:19:15 PM

Quote
A Letter To Would-Be Transsexuals

hmm - this is refering to me. I thought you where either TS or you where not - are you saying I have a choice?

That depends, and -- as you know -- there have been a few fights over this issue on these forums. Anyhow, some have quite a bit of freedom of choice in this, and some have none: the severity of the GID has a sliding scale, and if one is somewhere towards the middle of that scale it is possible to either take the TS route or to deal with it with only a partial or even no transition. As I see it, the point here is that if your GID is in the range where you aren't sure you have to transition, you really should consider all the implications, both positive and negative. Still, that's a big 'if', quite possibly the biggest one in your life.

  Nfr

We have done this one before, look at Reply #35 in (A U-Turn In Transitioning Could Save Some Lives). An as I said about the letter then, ^*shrug* I can't say I am worried. An from where I am now almost 2years HRT; I am even less worried. I do not think fear is a valid reason to not transition, unless of course fear hurts you LESS than not being true to yourself does.

By the by, Perhaps not the original but it looks like what I would call the official version is located at: http://www.cauldronfarm.com/writing/wouldbeletter.html which would seem to be Raven Kaldera's site.

Just sand in the wind...

Quote from: Cindi Jones on September 04, 2007, 01:34:36 AM
1. Educating people about transgender issues will be a part-time job for you.
... and the pay is lousy.

2. You will be discriminated against.
So what else is new?

3. Passing itself can be hard on your spirit.
You know, I was really really sick last night.  I thought that I had passed everything. I'll have to watch for an itself in the toilet

4. You may have difficulty finding employment.
Finding it has never been a problem. Getting the job can be tough though. 

5. If you found cross-dressing erotic before transition, that will probably go away when it's not cross-dressing any more.
Hmm... lessee... I can imagine how cutting off your erotica can diminish any feelings for it!

6. You won't ever have a normal body of a member of the opposite sex.
Opposite whom?   

7. There's no guarantee that your body dysphoria will ever go away entirely.
And you don't have any guarantees in the first place. Who is born with guarantees?

8. If you do get surgery, it may be less than ideal. It will hurt.
Oh please, make it stop!  It did hurt.  Big freakin deal.

9. If you enjoyed being naked in front of people before.
Huh?  Never did I enjoy being naked in front of anyone.  Duh?

10. Your dating pool will shrink drastically.
That's only if you don't add water to it occassionally.  Follow the directions carefully.

11. You may lose your family.
Regardless what they think, I know exactly where they are.

12. You may lose many or even all of your friends.
Yes, that was a deliberate choice.  Good ridance!

13. You may lose your children.
Sad but true.

14. You may lose your religious community.
I really wish that they would lose me! I still know where they are.

15. People will ask you rude questions about your genitalia.
Huh?  Never!  But I don't frequent the bath houses. I really wonder where this writer hangs out during his off time hours where they sit around talking about genitalia.

17. If you do go to jail, you have a higher likelihood of being killed while in prison.
And if you don't go to jail you can write warning letters like these

18. Being on hormones usually means being dependent on a substance
Oh ye of little faith.  Don't get sick.

19. There are certain parts of the globe that you can absolutely never visit
That's why there's the internet and HD TV.

Listen folks, the intent here is to be sure about what you are doing.  Don't be scared by these people who are trying to make you think..... just think. Don't do this because someone tells you do do it.  By the same token, don't rely too much on passionate religious figures to help you figure out your life.  They'll do more harm than good.

Cindi

Love always,
Elizabeth

Quote from: Kate on September 03, 2007, 10:23:15 PM
My only problem with transitioning... the only REAL challenge... has been overcoming my own internalized shame and transphobia. Shame and fears I unfairly and naively projected upon Everyone Else. Fears which are constantly reinforced by a particular segment of the trans community... or maybe I should say THE "trans community." Fear mongering seems to be the glue which defines the "community" and binds it together.

Right on Kate! I believe internalized transphobia is among the biggest issues that needs to be faced and dealt with in the trans community. Every time I read threads about who passes and who doesn't, who is a "real ts", etc., I see the evidence of how we internalize and perpetuate transphobic attitudes against ourselves, and each other, and how that shame about who we are controls our lives.

Zythyra

Quote from: Alice on September 03, 2007, 10:56:35 PM
Remember the amount of whining you did before you did it - everyone needs to go throught that.

No, they don't. Or at least I'd hope maybe I can make it *easier* for people starting out by sharing what I learned since I joined here... and maybe they can avoid MY mistakes of obsessing on my fears and insecurities - both of which tend to be constantly reinforced by the "transsexual community" itself.... becaaaaaause... the "community" is comprised of people going through this same thing of working through (or not) their internalized fears and shame. It's kinda like walking into a room of alcoholics and asking what they think you should do about your drinking problem, lol.

Not everyone does that of course. There are many "individuals" here who don't identify as being part of a community, and who just focus on their needs and living a happy life. Without their support, encouragement and advice, I would have been truly lost.

But it's SO tempting to give in to our unfounded fears, especially when reading warning lists like these. Heck, I'm STILL stuck on "Depending on how genetically lucky you are, passing may be a constant drain on your energy from the endless worry about whether you're moving or speaking or dressing right" even though I have absolutely no experiences to support that fear. I routinely deal with family, friends, coworkers and total strangers, and have never, EVER been ridiculed or demeaned - and in fact, I normally hear encouragement and congratulations (from those who know or find out). And yet STILL I fear that I've just been lucky, that the last 1,000 encounters were a fluke, and the NEXT one will be the horror everyone warns about.

But I just keep thinking: my god, what if I didn't transition because everyone told me I'd be fired on the spot? Or because I'd lose my family and friends? Or because I'd be ridiculed daily? Because it just never happened. None of it. Maybe I live in an isolated pocket of liberalism, I dunno, but NO ONE around me cares anywhere near as much about me being TS as *I* do.

But I'm slowly getting over myself

~Kate~

My warning letter would read like this:

"If you feel like you want to change your gender, do the real life test, visit a therapist on a regular basis, and take the hormone regimen.  If, after all that, you still feel you need to do it, then you are likely on track. You will have experienced many of the problems you are likely to face first hand."

Cindi

I think that this letter is good -- it might be scary, but they are things to consider. Most trans people I know have had something on that list happen to them, including myself. I'm "lucky" in a few cases, but I end up always having to educate people about my condition. I've lost family members, but I've also gained a lot of friends (my friends are the same from before I transitioned, since we are all pretty liberal). Passing doesn't seem to be my biggest issue, but I still have times when I feel down about myself and wondering if I look/speak like a guy, no matter how much positive feedback I get and that I haven't been clocked in ages. Being outed has happened to me. Trouble finding doctors has also happened to me.

As for relationships, it hasn't been that bad but sexual encounters are confusing and uncomfortable (I also have to watch and make sure that girlfriends/boyfriends/flings/sex/etc that people know, since I haven't had surgery... it's a risk if people don't know and find out and freak out. People who I include sexually or romantically need to be okay with it, and they are people I know and trust. And still, it can be awkward with people you know and trust, since my parts don't match who I am I don't fully enjoy it.

My ID still says M on it, and I need to bring that to my 2nd interview for a job at a phone company... that's not fun explaining to your future employer. I've done it with three other jobs, and got the jobs, but it's not something I'd say I'm comfortable with. This job also pays a lot more than my retail jobs... $18/h goes a long way to pay for debt and other expenses I've gained with transitioning.

There are, however, a lot of good things that have come out of my transition. I've gotten to know myself more and I'm more confident about who I am. I know that I'm going the right direction, despite setbacks and hard times. The good times keep me going.

--natalie

Okay, now it is my turn.  I will be more thorough though.  (and again, this is MY EXPERIENCE, so no drama please, thanks.

1. Educating people about transgender issues will be a part-time job for you.
Initially, it can become rather tiresome, but eventually people will not care.  Also if you happen to live in stealth, there's no reason for people to question you birth gender, is there?

2. You will be discriminated against.
This is true.  I remember being riduculed in public during my first months on HRT.  No one is actually exempt from discrimination.

3. Passing itself can be hard on your spirit.
This is indeed true.  You are constantly worrying about this and afraid to be "discovered"

4. You may have difficulty finding employment.
In my particular case, it hasn't since I moved to a new area and started a completely different life with a new job, a new circle of friends, etc.

5. If you found cross-dressing erotic before transition, that will probably go away when it's not cross-dressing any more.
I never found "cross-dressing" erotic , in my case wearing the attire of my true gender was not considered "cross-dressing", but of course everyone is different.

6. You won't ever have a normal body of a member of the opposite sex.
True, My surgery is not perfect, my breast implants are not perfect, my estrogen induced body is not perfect, but again, no one is perfect.  If you can live past these issues, you will live a happier life. 

7. There's no guarantee that your body dysphoria will ever go away entirely.
Personally, I have been post-op since January and so far I have not had any attacks of gender dysphoria like the ones I used to have pre-operatively.  I know it is still soon to tell, but in my case, I honestly think that SRS was the last step to get rid of my dysphoria.

8. If you do get surgery, it may be less than ideal. It will hurt.
It does hurt and a lot.  I have no complaints about its appearance though.  "everything" looks normal, and this is not only my opinion by the way  >

9. If you enjoyed being naked in front of people before.
Pre-operatively, it was traumatic, but now I can see myself naked without problems.  I am not disgusted at my body anymore.

10. Your dating pool will shrink drastically.
Not so  ; there is always someone.....LOL

11. You may lose your family.
No, I didn't.  Everyone supports me.

12. You may lose many or even all of your friends.
I lost a few "friends", but eventually I came to realize that they were NOT my friends to start with.

13. You may lose your children.
I don't have children.

14. You may lose your religious community.
I was pretty much accepted by my parish.

15. People will ask you rude questions about your genitalia.
No they don't.  But again my situation is different.  I don't bear the TS label on my forehead.

17. If you do go to jail, you have a higher likelihood of being killed while in prison.
Hmmm....I have never had problems with the law, but if this were to happen, I'd think I'd be sent to a prison for women since I am now post-op.

18. Being on hormones usually means being dependent on a substance
Oh, I am dependent on lots of medication, so one more is no big deal really.

19. There are certain parts of the globe that you can absolutely never visit
Something tells me that I will not be traveling to those certain parts of the globe.

So yeah, it is not soooooooooo bad really..

tink

'K... my experience...

1. Educating people about transgender issues will be a part-time job for you.
I don't bother. They don't care. "I'm changing my sex and going by 'Kate' now" is as much as I explain, although I generally don't explain myself anymore anyway.

2. You will be discriminated against.
Never. Hasn't happened, even during less-passable days. The vast majority of strangers whom I've told find it inspiring and genuinely congratulate me.

3. Passing itself can be hard on your spirit.
Yes. But it's my own unfounded insecurity issues. Society has never given me a reason to be worried or fear ridicule even if I didn't pass.

4. You may have difficulty finding employment.
My employer and coworkers have been some of my biggest supporters, providing a safe and nurturing micro-environment to get used to all this within.

5. If you found cross-dressing erotic before transition, that will probably go away when it's not cross-dressing any more.
Not applicable. Geez, I don't even own a dress, skirt, high heels, lingerie...

6. You won't ever have a normal body of a member of the opposite sex.
Close enough, in time.

7. There's no guarantee that your body dysphoria will ever go away entirely.
It's pretty much gone now. It doesn't feel like GID anymore - more like a girl somewhat unhappy with her body and life situation (to some extent).

8. If you do get surgery, it may be less than ideal. It will hurt.
Close enough. Pretty darn miraculous in fact if you ask me.

9. If you enjoyed being naked in front of people before.
I don't understand the question? I'm not naked around anyone except myself and my wife, so...?

10. Your dating pool will shrink drastically.
What dating pool?

11. You may lose your family.
They're coming to visit soon.

12. You may lose many or even all of your friends.
My existing friendships deepened. I gained new friends. I'm far better off NOW socially than BEFORE transitioning.

13. You may lose your children.
Not applicable. And my kitties don't seem to care as long as they get Purina, pillow forts and patio time.

14. You may lose your religious community.
Not religious.

15. People will ask you rude questions about your genitalia.
Only one person has, in the very beginning of my transition. I put a stop to it. It hasn't happened again.

17. If you do go to jail, you have a higher likelihood of being killed while in prison.
What the...? I'm not planning on going to jail. Is this related to the "enjoy being naked around people" thing?

18. Being on hormones usually means being dependent on a substance
What else is new?

19. There are certain parts of the globe that you can absolutely never visit
I'm a homebody

Seriously, I don't know why, but transitioning not only helped the GID, but it improved my entire LIFE in soooo many ways. My job is better and more enjoyable. I go out with people now. I ENJOY being me, and people seem to appreciate that.

The ONLY heartbreak has been with the effects on my marriage... but we're still together and working on it. And the problems were already there anyway - transitioning just put a note of finality on the futility of forcing ourselves into roles that weren't working.

~Kate~

Quote from: Kate on September 04, 2007, 10:15:35 AM
I have absolutely no experiences to support that fear. I routinely deal with family, friends, coworkers and total strangers, and have never, EVER been ridiculed or demeaned - and in fact, I normally hear encouragement and congratulations

~Kate~

yeah, about that...i got screamed at, threatened and verbally abused the very first time i wore even pseudo feminine clothes in public, and got called "What a ->-bleeped-<-!!!!" the very first time i wore my tight jeans. also, my mom thinks i'm insane.

you're great, Kate, i mean, really. but, you know, i hate you...

Quote from: Ell on September 04, 2007, 10:51:38 PM
yeah, about that...i got screamed at, threatened and verbally abused the very first time i wore even pseudo feminine clothes in public, and got called "What a ->-bleeped-<-!!!!" the very first time i wore my tight jeans.

you're great, Kate, i mean, really. but, you know, i hate you...

I hear ya. I do. I don't get it either. I feel like I'm walking on air, like when the Wiley Coyote would run off the cliffside when chasing the Roadrunner and just end up just hanging there in space, 300' above the riverbed below, nothing supporting him except belief and faith...

That's IT. I'm done questioning it. I'm never looking down again.

~Kate~

That list looks real negative, and wouldn't deter me 20 years ago, 5 years ago, and expecially now. Here's my thoughts:

1. Educating people about transgender issues will be a part-time job for you, for the rest of your life.
I would help any way I can, but I won't go out of my way and say "look, here I am".

2. You will be discriminated against.
Been there done that.

3. Passing itself can be hard on your spirit.
Probably not.

4. You may have difficulty finding employment.
I don't care if I have to waitress or do odd jobs if I can't find employment, and I'm through with transitioning. Chances are I won't once I find out how to transfer education documents into maybe a new name.

5. If you found cross-dressing erotic before transition, that will probably go away when it's not cross-dressing any more, it's just normalcy.
Kinky clothes will never be out of fashion for me. 

6. You won't ever have a normal body of a member of the opposite sex.
It'll be good enough in my mind.

7. There's no guarantee that your body dysphoria will ever go away entirely.
I think it might. It's a guarentee it won't if I do nothing.

8. If you do get surgery, it may be less than ideal. It will hurt. It will certainly cost a lot.
My mental and emotional pain are far greater than physical could ever be. When I got electrolysis, I couldn't believe it was actually painful to some people. I understand for surgery I will need to be cut, bruised, etc, but that will heal.

9. If you enjoyed being naked in front of people before (we're assuming that it was in appropriate places), that will change once your anatomy is gender-mixed.
I think I'll get by.

10. Your dating pool will shrink drastically.
Couldn't shrink even more than nothing. 

11. You may lose your family.
If I lost the ones that held me back for so long, I have no problems with it.

12. You may lose many or even all of your friends.
One day, they might know, or maybe not.

13. You may lose your children.
Have none don't forsee a chance to have any anyways.

14. You may lose your religious community.
Zero problems here.

15. People will ask you rude questions about your genitalia.....for the rest of your life.
I'm not going to wear a shirt that says "sex changed".

16. Statistically, you will be much more likely to be assaulted and/or killed by hatemongers.
I am more than capable of protecting myself at any time.

17. If you do go to jail, you have a higher likelihood of being killed while in prison.
Too smart for that.

18. You will have trouble finding medical care.
I am still wondering about this one.

19. Being on hormones usually means being dependent on a substance created by large, corrupt pharmaceutical companies for the rest of your life, especially if you've had your reproductive organs removed.
No more dependant than anything else, like food.

20. There are certain parts of the globe that you can absolutely never visit because of the very real possibility of being jailed or worse at customs.
If it's that bad, there's no benifit of being there in the first place, unless there's some kind of apacalypse. In that case I'd find away around it.

Kate, count yourself lucky.
I'm afraid from your past posts
(one where you freaked out just because the waitress remembered you from before and misgendered you) that your setting yourself
up for one mighty shock if something not so nice happens one day.
You seem to believe that the world is all peaches and roses
just because that's what you've had till now.
That kind of thinking makes you a prime candidate for desillusionnement.
You are a sensible soul.

My world aint so nice, with jerks lining my street, but
outside these ones, its been pretty good, so its not like I think
the world is evil or something, I'm just realistic that one must
always keep some hint of leather to protect our sensible soul
from the possible hit that can come at any time.

1. Educating people about transgender issues will be a part-time job for you.
Not really, people are too shy to ask questions around here even if they know about me being trans.

2. You will be discriminated against.
Actually less than pretransition, a somewhat conforming female vs a non-conforming "wtf is that"

3. Passing itself can be hard on your spirit.
Imperfect passing is much better than being seen as a male.

4. You may have difficulty finding employment.
It has not gotten much more difficult, and should it become impossible there is social security. Non-issue.

5. If you found cross-dressing erotic before transition, that will probably go away when it's not cross-dressing any more.
Since it was not erotic before... Anyways cute clothes are even better when one fits well into them

6. You won't ever have a normal body of a member of the opposite sex.
Why would I want the body of a FTM?

7. There's no guarantee that your body dysphoria will ever go away entirely.
Yes, but most of it is gone with the transition

8. If you do get surgery, it may be less than ideal. It will hurt.
The world is imperfect and lots of things hurt. Not an issue.

9. If you enjoyed being naked in front of people before.
not really.

10. Your dating pool will shrink drastically.
Actually it increases.

11. You may lose your family.
Did that before transitioning.

12. You may lose many or even all of your friends.
Haven't lost a single one due to transition and they tend to be even more close nowadays.

13. You may lose your children.
What children?

14. You may lose your religious community.
You mean Cthulhu won't eat me as eagerly?

15. People will ask you rude questions about your genitalia.
Not usually. And if someone asks it is quite easy to counter with a rude question they were not expecting.

17. If you do go to jail, you have a higher likelihood of being killed while in prison.
I'm not planning on going to jail.

18. Being on hormones usually means being dependent on a substance
How is this different from my other meds?

19. There are certain parts of the globe that you can absolutely never visit
Not true. And being visibly non-het limits things a lot more.


I think the list may apply somewhat to older people in a very conservative area. But it is FUD when talking about younger people in more liberal areas.

I noticed that this letter did not touch on sex and orgasms. Can anyone tell me the truth about these topics after one fully transitions?

Quote from: Deja on September 05, 2007, 02:08:24 AM
I noticed that this letter did not touch on sex and orgasms. Can anyone tell me the truth about these topics after one fully transitions?

Perhaps because sex and orgasms are not usually associated with gender.  They are entirely different issues.  You can check the sexuality forums or the "post-operative life boards" for more explicit threads about sexual issues before and after SRS.

tink

Walking the road of transition is not for "sissies". Yes we are regarded as 3rd class citizens but should that stop us from having fun fun fun? We create our own prisons and if a ripple moves through the community of discrimination or someone gets assaulted, we rush out to get more bricks, cement and barb wire to make the walls higher as the reports just confirm our fears.

Fear is a soul and life destroyer. Remember that 1e public step you took your chosen gender. The thrill and adrenalin rushing through your veins? A lot of girl/boys take that 1e step which take a lot of guts and courage, only to later lock themselves away at the 1e hick up. We should not limit ourselves just because of a few homo/trans phobic people. They love to create fear by bulling people and if we stand up and take their power away from them, then they haven't got control over us and will go away.....

1. Educating people about transgender issues will be a part-time job for you.
That's fine, I have no problems with this, it comes with the territory.

2. You will be discriminated against.
Big deal, it's bound to happen. I'll get over it.

3. Passing itself can be hard on your spirit.
Also comes with the territory. There will be good days and bad days.

4. You may have difficulty finding employment.
Maybe, maybe not, depends on what you do for a living, how successful you were before transition, etc. There's a lot that goes into this.

5. If you found cross-dressing erotic before transition, that will probably go away when it's not cross-dressing any more.
Pfff, I still have a hard time believing that people who find crossdressing erotic would go through transition. That's a complete change to your life based on sexual fantasies, whoa.

6. You won't ever have a normal body of a member of the opposite sex.
Accepted that a long time ago.

7. There's no guarantee that your body dysphoria will ever go away entirely.
No guarantees on anything in life, we all have to do what we have to do to get to where we want to get in this life. At least if I get hit by a bus in transition, I'll know I was finally taking steps to be who I really was.

8. If you do get surgery, it may be less than ideal. It will hurt.
Can't hurt more than the pain of going through life every day pre transition. Physical pain doesn't compare to emotional pain in my opinion.

9. If you enjoyed being naked in front of people before.
Not really, that won't change I'm sure. Does anyone truly feel comfortable being naked in front of other people??

10. Your dating pool will shrink drastically.
That's funny, it can't get any smaller than it already is. I'm not doing this to develop a "dating pool." I'm hopeful that there will be people out there who accept me for who I am. We'll see.

11. You may lose your family.
Not going to happen, but I was prepared for it in case it did happen.

12. You may lose many or even all of your friends.
Can't accept me, then they weren't friends to begin with.

13. You may lose your children.
I don't have children and never wanted any of my own.

14. You may lose your religious community.
I don't have one of these.

15. People will ask you rude questions about your genitalia.
And I'll respond accordingly.

17. If you do go to jail, you have a higher likelihood of being killed while in prison.
Uh, if I go to jail, I have bigger problems than transition. What the %^$$# would I be doing that I'd go to prison???

19. Being on hormones usually means being dependent on a substance
So what? Diabetics are dependent on insulin...

20. There are certain parts of the globe that you can absolutely never visit
No big deal, comes with the territory.

So, that's a pretty comprehensive list of reasons not to transition. Hopefully it gives people a chance to think through things, but I think many people already think/thought through this stuff. Be nice to see a list of reasons why people who have transitioned successfully actually feel this was the RIGHT decision for them. They exist, they are out there, I've talked to them. There's always doubts, there's always feelings like 'what if...; but there's also a feeling deep down many times that tells you that you did the right thing and wouldn't change the decision for the world.

Quote from: Tink on September 03, 2007, 04:36:00 PM
Thanks very much Blanche. 

You're quite welcome Tink.  My pleasure.  I will fill out the questionnaire next time.

1. Educating people about transgender issues will be a part-time job for you, for the rest of your life. It's worthy work, but it can be boring and wearing and exhausting.
I haven't done this since going fulltime with the exception of my parents, who refuse to learn.  Other than that, nothing.  It's one of the advantages of being stealth.

2. You will be discriminated against.
That's just part of being a woman.   I haven't had this experience yet though.

3. Passing itself can be hard on your spirit.
Sometimes, but it beats not passing.

4. You may have difficulty finding employment. It's not unusual to be fired from most jobs where you transition.
I was told to leave my last job while starting to transition.  Then I found another job and got paid almost twice as much.  I transitioned on that job and still have it.

5. If you found cross-dressing erotic before transition, that will probably go away when it's not cross-dressing any more, it's just normalcy.
Woohoo! :icon_woohoo:

6. You won't ever have a normal body of a member of the opposite sex.
I never had a normal body of my birth sex.  My body is already much closer to that of a female, with the exception of my genitalia...for now.

7. There's no guarantee that your body dysphoria will ever go away entirely.
True, I experience this still from time to time, but having it drastically reduced is SO much better than how it was before.

8. If you do get surgery, it may be less than ideal. It will hurt. It will certainly cost a lot.
[...]
If you have bad results, it can painfully remind you of your trans status every time you look at it.
I'm aware of that.  What I have now is already a much more prominent and painful reminder than any bad results could be.

9. If you enjoyed being naked in front of people before (we're assuming that it was in appropriate places), that will change once your anatomy is gender-mixed.
I never "enjoyed" it.  I'm at least comfortable baring my chest now.  After SRS, I probably will be much more comfortable than I ever was before.  While being pre-op though, I have to agree with this in regards to my genitalia only.

10. Your dating pool will shrink drastically.
It's increased.  I have been with 2-3 times as many people since transitioning as I ever had in my entire life before that.  Ironically enough, most of those people were women.

11. You may lose your family.
Yes, sadly I did.  I still have a tiny seedling of hope in the back of my mind though.

12. You may lose many or even all of your friends. You can, of course, make new ones, but losing friends over a sex change is not a fun thing.
I didn't lose even one friend over this, but have gained SO many more.

13. You may lose your children.
Nope, I still see my children regularly.

14. You may lose your religious community.
Initially yes, but since then, I have made a choice to not be religious.

15. People will ask you rude questions about your genitalia.
I can't think of anybody asking me this.  Maybe this related to somebody who is either out or doesn't pass well.

16. Statistically, you will be much more likely to be assaulted and/or killed by hatemongers.
I don't think this is worse for me in general than any other women with the exception of if one of those people happened to rape me while I'm pre-op.

17. If you do go to jail, you have a higher likelihood of being killed while in prison.
Assuming you go pre-op AND are thrown in with men, yes.  However, I avoid committing crimes and thus have no run-ins with the law.

18. You will have trouble finding medical care.
No problems yet.

19. Being on hormones usually means being dependent on a substance created by large, corrupt pharmaceutical companies for the rest of your life.
Possibly, but having ADD kind of gave me this anyhow.  The main difference is that hormones are much easier to acquire than my ADD meds.

20. There are certain parts of the globe that you can absolutely never visit because of the very real possibility of being jailed or worse at customs.
Even if i did visit one of these countries, I more than likely would be treated like any other woman.  Unless you are out of unpassable (or don't update documentation), this shouldn't be a problem.

I see most of these problems being a result of not passing or being "out and proud".  Consequently, I haven't experienced most of these problems.  I think the main purpose was to get people with unrealistic views of transition (or are not actually TS) to take a closer look at what they are getting into.