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Sort of a unique situation (FTM)

Started by secondo, June 14, 2014, 02:18:40 PM

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secondo

So after about 3 1/2 months on testosterone I realized physical transition really wasn't for me and I quit in April. My voice did deepen a little (People tell me I just sound like I'm sick) and now I really want my old voice back. I've been looking into getting a laser vocal cord tightening with Dr. James Thomas since it only changes the voice a small amount, but for now I'm looking into voice therapy. I'm just a little unsure about all this because of my unique situation as a genetic female who only partially transitioned, and because I don't just want to sound higher, I want to sound like I used to.
Do you think this is possible?
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Emily1996

If you feel like a female, why did you transition? I mean HRT it's not a game, some changes are irriversible... So yeah I guess you can get that surgery but I just don't understand how you could get hormones if you don't feel like a male.
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Hex

I'm with Emily. Were you informed before hand that some changes were permanent? Yeah surgery might help and voice therapy might slightly but T thickens your vocal chords and even with surgery, gaining back your original voice I would think is a fairly hard thing to do.
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Marcel

You should have thought about your decision more on receiving HRT. I mean, this is one of those primary reasons why most endocrinologists require people to go a therapist first and receive a letter that confirms that this is not just a fleeting thought. People will regret the decision without it and they may have past the point of no return.
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Tysilio

Sheesh, kids. The OP isn't the only person who ever made a big, potentially life-changing mistake. It happens, and criticism after the fact isn't helpful.  (Ask me sometime about some of the people I got involved with when I was young. :blush:)

Secondo, you may not be able to get your original voice back, but I think there's a good chance that voice therapy can help you regain a voice that you'll be happy with. In your shoes, I'd definitely give that a good trial before opting for surgery, which always has risks; and I doubt that any decent surgeon would promise to restore your original voice, either.

Never bring an umbrella to a coyote fight.
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Sephirah

Quote from: Tysilio on June 14, 2014, 03:01:53 PM
The OP isn't the only person who ever made a big, potentially life-changing mistake. It happens, and criticism after the fact isn't helpful.

I would agree with this, and ask that replies could try and be aimed at the intent of the thread, rather than what the OP could have, or should have done differently.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

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Nero

While this kinda thing can stand as a warning to others, the OP has already done the deed. What's done is done. Nothing can be gained by harping on an apparent mistake made. I'm sure they feel bad enough about it.

Unfortunately, like I said on the other thread, I doubt you will be able to get your voice back the way it was. The vocal chords have altered. If I were in that situation, I would work on accepting that I'll never have the voice I did. And then think about my options. Which aren't that great, really. This is why so many trans women struggle with voice. Because once the voice drops, it doesn't go back. You may be able to alter it some, but probably never get it back the way it was. I know that sucks. I'm sorry.  :(
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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secondo

Uhhh, with all due respect, my gender  identity (which I never disclosed) and my reasons for transitioning (which I understood  would be permanent) is no one else's business and is not an open forum. I asked about voice therapy. Thanks for the responses!
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Marcel

Quote from: secondo on June 14, 2014, 03:12:50 PM
Uhhh, with all due respect, my gender  identity (which I never disclosed) and my reasons for transitioning (which I understood  would be permanent) is no one else's business and is not an open forum. I asked about  voice therapy.

No need to be rude. In any case, you will not get your original voice back no matter what; learn to accept that first. You can try voice therapy and see, with practice, if you achieve a voice that you're content with before looking at surgery. There are risks in altering the voice with surgery.
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Nero

Quote from: Tysilio on June 14, 2014, 03:01:53 PM
Sheesh, kids. The OP isn't the only person who ever made a big, potentially life-changing mistake. It happens, and criticism after the fact isn't helpful.  (Ask me sometime about some of the people I got involved with when I was young. :blush:)

Secondo, you may not be able to get your original voice back, but I think there's a good chance that voice therapy can help you regain a voice that you'll be happy with. In your shoes, I'd definitely give that a good trial before opting for surgery, which always has risks; and I doubt that any decent surgeon would promise to restore your original voice, either.

This.
I'm afraid surgery would only intensify the problem. There are huge risks. Can you still pass as female with your voice?
A voice coach probably knows a lot more about what can and can't be done with training. I would just go in and explain the situation and ask what they think.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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secondo

I was told by a voice coach over the phone that I sound fairly gender neutral, but I think it always was anyway. honestly, it probably didn't change as much as I feel like it did, haha. I think I just want it to be pitched back up, since it's a little lower now.
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Arch

Jeez, people. It's apparently all right to have doubts--we are used to telling folks that it's normal--but it's not okay to maybe have doubts (and I'm not saying that this happened), stop EARLY, and say, "Okay, this wasn't what I wanted after all"? Is transition a no-going-back situation--once you've started, you have to continue? We also sometimes tell people that if they're more sure than not, they can start hormones (preferably at a low dose) and then stop if it isn't right for them--just be aware of the risks. Secondo isn't saying, "Gee, I didn't know this might happen!" Far from it.

And, by the way, Secondo was being firm, not rude.

Secondo, I found that a few months in, my voice had changed noticeably to people who were listening for it but not so much for people who weren't. So you may be right that it hasn't changed as much as you think. But still, people say that you sound hoarse and you aren't happy with it. That's significant.

You might need to simply adjust. Lots of women have voices that aren't particularly high, and they don't get to choose. You might pretend that this is simply the hand that nature dealt you. I don't know if that helps.

I have a few other things to say. First, I have heard that some guys who stop T lose a little of their vocal changes. Don't know how true that is. So I would give it a little more time and see. Or go on YouTube and hunt down some of those videos and see how long those guys took to lose some of their vocal depth.

Second, if you want to sound less male/gender neutral, a vocal coach who works specifically with trans women might be worth looking into. I don't think you will get much out of surgery (and it would cost a bundle), but I am not a surgeon. Have you been evaluated by Dr. Thomas, or are you just kicking ideas around?
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"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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