Hi guys I'm new to the forums although I've been reading them for some time now. Just wanted to say how you guys have a wonderful sense of community here and it's been really exciting watching you guys share your own experiences with transitioning... I'm hoping I'll be able to share mine too in the near future! 

Where I come from you need a gender dysphoria diagnosis from one or two of a limited number of psychologists before you can start hormones and while my parents have been somewhat supportive there's only one in particular they are willing to trust who I have an appointment with in a couple of weeks. I already have a valid diagnosis from another professional however my parents completely disregard him and I cannot afford to go for the treatment by myself as I'm only 19 and it's extremely expensive here. 

Therefore, I see my session with this guy as sort of a job interview that could either finally let me start living my life or stall it till I'm financially independent. He mainly focuses on the individual's mental ability to handle a transition and also the maturity and certainty to go through with it. I know I'm ready for it but I'm really worried I might come across insincere or immature when I'm conveying how I feel. So I'm just asking if you guys had any tips or key points I should make to prove to this guy that I am truly suffering from gender dysphoria and that I am mature enough to handle a transition?? (Bearing in mind it's only an hour long and my parents will be in the room with us.)

Sorry if this is a little vague but any help would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance! 

I recommend being honest and explain why you are there.  I would be very open about your thoughts, ideas and fantasies. How do you feel and from what point. Why are you now at the point where transition is necessary? Can you express yourself in a calm way?

If you are suicidal then that will need to be addressed first. Transition is stressful on your mind and body so you need to have reserve (mental and physical capacity to handle the stress). 

Are you called names? How do you handle it? Will you have community?

Good luck and I hope this helps.

Thanks guys for the advice it really means a lot! :-)

All of my friends/family who are aware of my feelings have been 100% supportive thus far and any suicidal thoughts/depression I've suffered from have gone away completely over the last two years but I think if I had to explain why right now is the time to transition over a future date I may have some difficulty. Any suggestions what I could say?

If I'm being "just me" I'd probably say that I'm fed up acting like something I'm not and I just want to take control of my life but I'm worried that may sound a little panicky or over the top...?

I am comfortable in these situations and very open which is why the previous diagnosis went smoothly, I've just heard this specialist can be quite strange in his analyzation of patients and I don't want to mess things up for myself! 

Thanks again

A psychologist is going to look at whether or not you meet the criteria for a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder (GID). If you meet the criteria, then things proceed. If you don't meet the criteria, he might start delving into other areas. Although it's not at all necessary, I'd suggest your being familiar with the criteria, and ask yourself, what can I honestly tell him that will support this diagnosis? You should be very honest, and not attempt to hide anything.

I imagine he would want to know things like, How old were you when you first identified as female? What does dysphoria mean to you? What did you do, or have you done, in an attempt to try to reduce the symptoms of dysphoria? What do you think makes you different from other males? Or, what makes you think you are more like a female? The truth is, a good psychologist is going to have more and better questions than I could even begin to imagine.

Your statement that "He mainly focuses on the individual's mental ability to handle a transition and also the maturity and certainty to go through with it" makes me wonder why your parents are taking you to him. If they don't trust the diagnosis from the other psychologist, then it would seem to me that they certainly want much more than to know your "ability to handle a transition and also the maturity and certainty to go through with it." It seems to me that they want first to know if you really do have GID.

Also, you're asking for advice on what to tell the psychologist to prove that you are mature enough to handle the transition. Well, who here really knows how mature you are? The thing is, though, that transition is not about maturity, it's about treating a condition for which there is no other treatment (this is  looking at it strictly from one aspect, only), and, except for where treatment is first required for a co-existing condition, I don't know of any accounts where later transition was better than earlier transition. I think maturity takes a back seat to treatment.

Assuming you are indeed suffering from GID dysphoria, I think you really don't have anything to worry about.

The point about taking the level of maturity into account, how can the maturity, of a 6yr old FtM be gauged?  The one you may have seen in the news last couple weeks.. ik its a pretty far fetched example, but one you might pose to the doctor.  If their docs, decided, to allow a 6yr old to transition.. well, more, actually develop rather than transition, how can that now be a reasonable item to check?

Do you feel just so wrong as the image you see in the mirror?  Do you get in a panicked state of mind when you see a girl you should have been?  Does iCarly set you off, knowing you could have been Sam(antha)?  Do you feel correct when you dress in girls clothes?  I will not use the term "cross-dress" because, if you are indeed transgendered, then you are not cross-dressing, you are just dressing, for your internal gender.  Those are things I consider..

Why must your parents be in the room with you?

Thanks again guys! 

I know I meet the criteria for the diagnosis and I've compiled a booklet over the last few months of every single issue I feel I have as a result of the dysphoria, the concern is just that if I state that my intentions are clear and I won't accept thing other than transitioning the psychologist might be a little doubtful of my stability... does that sound like a legitimate statement?

I say I won't accept any alternative as my parents have been seeing this psychosexual therapist who wants me to "explore" other options. I also have to let them sit in the room with me as, again, I can't afford the transition costs by myself and I have to play ball if I'm to expect them to support me at all in this. 

Paula Christine and LordKat - those are excellent observations!

LaLuchadora,
   Is it your parents, or the psychosexual therapist, (or both) who wants you to 'explore' other options??? There is nothing wrong with being firm on what is acceptable to you - that is not by itself an indication of craziness or immaturity (both children and unstable people make unreasonable demands). On the contrary, having the right kind of resolve is a companion to maturity.

However, I would stress to make sure you control yourself in this particular situation, and don't let your emotions get the better of you. And, keep in mind that pairing your resolve with the wrong ultimatum could result in you not getting what you want. That just might be the proof that they may not only be looking for, and expecting, but by which they might take excuse (no matter how wrong or mis-guided) to delay helping you get what you want.

Now, is it your parents, or the psychosexual therapist, (or both) who wants you to 'explore' other options???

if your an adult it's totally your decision. It's hard but if your over twenty one  and being it's your life you might just have to go it alone if this is truly what you need to do. there is support out there you just need to research if your not 21 you probably don't have much to wait out and just prepare for when the opportunity comes. or is 18 the legal age , I don't know it been awhile for me.

Thanks Suziack and stephaniec!

I'm good at controlling emotions etc although I do well up from time to time when I talk being trans  I was thinking about the ultimatum situation arising and I was going to suggest at least going on blockers for the short term (as where I live they put you on blockers alone for about 3-4 months before they give you estrogen) but again that might not go down too well with the doctor. It's both the therapist and my parents that want me to look in to other options. I had a really bad time in school like many other trans people and my mom is convinced that the idea of transitioning is an escape from the male life I've had so much trouble with in the past which is a fair reasoning but simply not the case.


I'm not sure what age it is in the States but at least where I am it's 18.My parents said they will support me to any length short of a physical transition and I know it is totally my decision but I just can't afford it right now and I'm really anxious to get started as my temples have been starting to recede over the last year. 

One possibility if your 18 or older is to do a whole lot of research on the subject and other possible options as far as medical groups that deal specifically with trans issues so you can go into these session with solid knowledge of your condition . Just  let them know what you want from them. Again it's quite different if your a minor , but if your over 18 you have ever right to take control of your treatment and there are a lot of organizations you can get information from.

Quote from: LaLuchadora on June 16, 2014, 04:10:19 PM
I'm not sure what age it is in the States but at least where I am it's 18.My parents said they will support me to any length short of a physical transition and I know it is totally my decision but I just can't afford it right now and I'm really anxious to get started as my temples have been starting to recede over the last year. 

Maybe even if you can't physically transition right now, they would at least let you take something like Finesteride to halt the receding temples until you can afford it on your own.

Laluchadora, I think you have the right idea about going on Tblockers for that 3-4mth period. It was the same for me here in Australia too, with my Therapist/GP starting me off on them. It gives you something to feel like your progressing, it gives you time to research and fully comprehend what you embarking on, and it does begin some mild feminising effects and gets you into the pill/toilet routine that you will have to get used to lol.
I think I get why your parents figure so highly in all this, Im guessing a mixture of love and respect, mixed in with its where you live and if your going to have trouble with paying  for HRT I'm sure you cant just move out either. I think that jumping on the Tblockers will help with that too, and help chill your parents out. Good luck babes

What does "they will support me to any length short of a physical transition" mean?

I'm a little curious as to how you know that the therapists wishes to explore "other options." Did your folks tell you this? Was it the therapist? And, exactly WHAT ARE the "OTHER OPTIONS?"  T blockers?

Quote from: stephaniec on June 16, 2014, 04:20:16 PM
One possibility if your 18 or older is to do a whole lot of research on the subject and other possible options as far as medical groups that deal specifically with trans issues so you can go into these session with solid knowledge of your condition . Just  let them know what you want from them. Again it's quite different if your a minor , but if your over 18 you have ever right to take control of your treatment and there are a lot of organizations you can get information from.

Yes definitely, the research is still ongoing! I've already gotten a diagnosis but my parents didn't accept it even though this guy's is literally the best in the country when it comes to assessing people with gender dysphoria. I am of age and could go behind they're back on it if I wanted but again the catch 22 is that it would cost me all my savings and definitely cause commotion at home. 

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 16, 2014, 04:45:32 PM
Maybe even if you can't physically transition right now, they would at least let you take something like Finesteride to halt the receding temples until you can afford it on your own.

Propecia/Dutasteride etc are illegal where I live and you'll get in trouble if you try importing it 

Quote from: MikaylaGC on June 16, 2014, 07:02:26 PM
Laluchadora, I think you have the right idea about going on Tblockers for that 3-4mth period. It was the same for me here in Australia too, with my Therapist/GP starting me off on them. It gives you something to feel like your progressing, it gives you time to research and fully comprehend what you embarking on, and it does begin some mild feminising effects and gets you into the pill/toilet routine that you will have to get used to lol.
I think I get why your parents figure so highly in all this, Im guessing a mixture of love and respect, mixed in with its where you live and if your going to have trouble with paying for HRT I'm sure you cant just move out either. I think that jumping on the Tblockers will help with that too, and help chill your parents out. Good luck babes

Thanks Mikayla! I'm really liking this idea now... also I'll be living abroad for two years after my next year in college/uni so it would be easier to start on estrogen when Im living on my own! It is to a degree but a large part of it is the embarassment and explanations to neighbours/family they want to do without it  Oh well.... thanks again and you're really pretty by the way! 

Quote from: Suziack on June 16, 2014, 08:08:15 PM
What does "they will support me to any length short of a physical transition" mean?

I'm a little curious as to how you know that the therapists wishes to explore "other options." Did your folks tell you this? Was it the therapist? And, exactly WHAT ARE the "OTHER OPTIONS?"  T blockers?

The rents want me to and the therapist is laying them out for them... they're trying to devise a way to minimise the dysphoria so I can deal with it  Apparently they are counselling and working out more often so as to "distract" me   

Quote from: LaLuchadora on June 17, 2014, 04:47:08 PM
Thanks Mikayla! I'm really liking this idea now... also I'll be living abroad for two years after my next year in college/uni so it would be easier to start on estrogen when Im living on my own! It is to a degree but a large part of it is the embarassment and explanations to neighbours/family they want to do without it  Oh well.... thanks again and you're really pretty by the way! 

D'aww flattery will get you everywhere  But thank you. Also heres something for you to consider, I know sadly there is still some(alot? depending on where you live etc) stigma regarding transitioning, but, you are doing this for you and your own well being mentally. Your therapist 'should' be helping you and your parents apprehension regarding this. Also if there using the term 'embarassed', well whilst I dont know them personally, that doesnt sound like there fully supportive. Terms like embarassment/shame etc shouldnt be used regarding transitioning, that implies your doing something bad/wrong.

My advice babes, is do what is best and right for you. And if this Therapist is trying to steer you in the wrong direction, go somewhere else. Not all Therapists are created equally when it comes to treating dysphoria or gender issues. Good luck

Quote from: MikaylaGC on June 17, 2014, 08:30:38 PM
D'aww flattery will get you everywhere  But thank you. Also heres something for you to consider, I know sadly there is still some(alot? depending on where you live etc) stigma regarding transitioning, but, you are doing this for you and your own well being mentally. Your therapist 'should' be helping you and your parents apprehension regarding this. Also if there using the term 'embarassed', well whilst I dont know them personally, that doesnt sound like there fully supportive. Terms like embarassment/shame etc shouldnt be used regarding transitioning, that implies your doing something bad/wrong.

My advice babes, is do what is best and right for you. And if this Therapist is trying to steer you in the wrong direction, go somewhere else. Not all Therapists are created equally when it comes to treating dysphoria or gender issues. Good luck

Awh you're welcome! Yep you're totally right! Im not going to be swayed on it at all it's just gonna take a fair bit of work unfortunately There isn't really much stigma per se just the population is so small here that its very rare for someone to come across someone trans and therefore very few understand it and often bundle trans people with ladyboys/drag acts etc Thanks so much again, Im working towards getting on some sort of medication before the year is out so I'll post if things go to plan!