Hey everyone.  So this is my letter, and I'm wondering if anyone might be able to read it and let me know what you think? I just wrote this up now.  If you have anything you think would be good to add or take out, I'd appreciate any feedback you can give!

Hello to my family

You've known me for a long time.  You've watched this person grow up and I think you've seen on the outside some of the difficulties I've had.  But my mouth has been closed.  I've not opened up at all.  In a way, you hardly know me at all.  Perhaps you don't even know that I've dealt with hard issues all my life, or that I've had serious, chronic major depression since I was 12, that I've been seeing a psychiatrist for over a year now and I'm on antidepressants.  Perhaps you don't know how hard of a battle life has been for me.  But now is the time that I need to open up to you.  I'm transgender.  I've always felt like a male inside this female body.  I can't begin to describe how this has effected me.  The first time I noticed something was wrong was when I was 5 and it's followed me every step of the way since.  Every time I look in a mirror.  Every time my body reminds me that nature has played me a cruel joke.  My voice speaks and I feel no connection to the sound that comes from me.  My name is called and I wonder who that is.  I've finally decided,  no more.  No longer will I feel estranged from myself.  No longer will I wallow in the hell they call depression.  No longer will I pretend to be something just to make other people happy.  I want to be me.  I'm going to make the transition. 

This means I'm going to start on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to start making the changes that are necessary.  The name I've chosen for myself is Evan and the pronouns I'll go by will be "he, him, his".  One thing I'm transitioning to is being open.  I need to be open with you all, something I've not done in the past.  This isn't just my transition, it's everyone's who knows me.  This is a hard path, but it's one I need to do.  This isn't just a lifestyle, this is me.  It's something I take seriously and have prayed at length with God about.  It's between Him and me.  But you're all a part of this and I want you to know you should feel comfortable asking me anything and discussing anything with me.  I won't change my mind, though.  This is my decision. It's up to you all what you want to do now.  Accept it, deny it, that's not my choice – it's yours.  I do hope whatever you choose to do, that you'll still accept me.

I'd like to finish this with a video about what this is all about – the "why" of it all.  It's short, about 6 minutes.  It explains how being this way isn't just a psychological weirdness, that this isn't something that can be changed, fixed or "prayed away".  Professionals are beginning to look at this as being a type of intersex condition of the brain.  This is by a very respected lecturer at Stanford University.  I hope you'll watch.



Yours truly,
Evan

Is it that bad or.... I'm thinking of sending it to my brothers soon and not sure if I should.

I think you did a great job 

You firmly established the boundaries of your existence and what you want, without droning on. I think starting off strong is great because then that becomes the tone for any future conversations.

I think it's a good letter, but then I fully get what you are saying, having tread those same boards myself. I don't know your brothers, so I can't say much more than this: You have described the hell you live in and specified the path you must take to overcome the pain. Do you think they can handle it? Is there any evidence that they are transphobic? What is your relationship with them now? Did you discuss this with your therapist? Sorry... so many questions. I guess I tend to err on the side of caution.

Thanks for responding Ellie. I like to err on the side of caution also which is why I thought it might be good to get input. I'm not really close to either of my brothers, but one more so than the other. My oldest brother, who I'm a bit closer to, (it's partly a distance thing really) I think might actually be supportive. My other I'm not so sure about but I never see him anyways. The one I'm most worried about is my pseudo brother. He's confirmed trans phobic and also the one I'm closest to. I think the main problem is he doesn't understand it at all, he's not a mean or bigoted type of person. My therapist said I should tell everyone but I haven't seen her since I wrote this letter and won't see her until August which is too late. 

It's a great letter. It's clear and to the point, and I really like that you say that you're also transitioning to being open with people; that's an important part of the process, I think. (Also, you write well, which never hurts.  )

My only suggestion is that you might want to change this:
I won't change my mind, though.  This is my decision. It's up to you all what you want to do now.  Accept it, deny it, that's not my choice – it's yours.  I do hope whatever you choose to do, that you'll still accept me.

To this, or something like it:
I won't change my mind, though.  This is my decision. It's up to you all what you want to do now. I do hope that you'll accept me as I am -- it will mean a lot to me to have your love and support.

I think "Accept it, deny it..." has a defensive ring to it, and as a "tactical" matter, I wouldn't be explicit about the possibility that they might react badly. Of course they have that choice, but be positive about it, and do be explicit that you want their love and acceptance. It's a gift they can give you, and it doesn't hurt to be explicit about that.

Wow Tysilio awesome point. Thank you!! I'm definitely going to change that I think you're totally right about that.

Glad I could help, Evan -- this is hard stuff to do.

Hi Evan - you've done a great job on a very difficult letter.  Truly. The way you started it is so uncannily much like mine that it made me draw in breath

I  recommend that you be ready with some answers to the most common questions - like what HRT will do or not do, and what you would need to get fixed with surgery.

When I did my coming out to family (only a month back) the first part of my letter stated my intent and the second answered around 8 key questions. 

Go for it dude!

Julia

Nice letter Evan,

I fully endorse Tysilio changes as well.

A word though. Don't expect instant acceptance and don't get put off by lack of it.

You have known you are a guy all of your life, they will know for 5 mins.

It takes them time.

Thank you so much everyone!

Here's another vote for Tysilio's edit, a great vibe.
Well, if your more or less transphobic brother is not mean or bigoted and just simply lacks understanding, you may be in good shape then. It may take some time, but if he is close with you I'm sure he will come around and accept his brother. Have a look at this link, might be of some help: http://ohmyyy.gt/e6TpBi