I'm going to jump on the tough love bandwagon.  I hear a lot of self pity and passive aggression from you, and a lot of patience and acceptance from her.

It sounds like you have some peripheral issues to work through in addition to the central GD issue. And I'd bet that much of what makes others uncomfortable is not necessarily trans-related, but the aura of self pity surrounding you.

You've mentioned spending a lot of time working on your issues. That's great, but it'll only get you so far working on yourself in a vacuum. It's time to put on your big girl pants, woman up, and focus on your family. Many of your issues will resolve themselves when you're focused on others. It sounds counterintuitive, but it's very true.

And you really cannot spend enough time expressing gratitude and appreciation to your wife. She sounds awesome! And that will go a long way in helping her feel better about you.

Did you have a lot of anxiety issues before starting HRT?

Debussy,

I can understand your wife's withdrawal - an infant will drain a mother physically, mentally, and emotionally.  If she was breast feeding, there's every chance she would have felt like a milk machine rather than as a woman, and it can take time for physical desire to come back - especially if she feels unattractive herself.

Add in what's going on in your life, and it's not surprising your marriage is struggling.  I think that there's been some wonderful advice, esp re: counselling - if you have a moderator, you both may have a chance of clearing the air.

Quote from: katiej on June 18, 2014, 01:03:43 AM
I'm going to jump on the tough love bandwagon.  I hear a lot of self pity and passive aggression from you, and a lot of patience and acceptance from her.

It sounds like you have some peripheral issues to work through in addition to the central GD issue. And I'd bet that much of what makes others uncomfortable is not necessarily trans-related, but the aura of self pity surrounding you.

You've mentioned spending a lot of time working on your issues. That's great, but it'll only get you so far working on yourself in a vacuum. It's time to put on your big girl pants, woman up, and focus on your family. Many of your issues will resolve themselves when you're focused on others. It sounds counterintuitive, but it's very true.

And you really cannot spend enough time expressing gratitude and appreciation to your wife. She sounds awesome! And that will go a long way in helping her feel better about you.

first off ,
I've never been married so take as you may. Your wife has no fault what so ever. this is totally a unilateral decision on your part that wasn't in the marriage contract. If she stays with you that's great , there is absolutely no blame on her part. She has a child and needs your help,