Hello everyone!

   My nickname is Bear. I am 23 years old. Possibly FTM, I've joined this site in order to get some advice, and possibly help others as well I am having issues figuring out my identity, if I am transgender or not.

  The past couple of years a type of dysphoria has been bothering me. Not so much top, as much as bottom dysphoria. Everyones story is different, and when they actually started to question. I went through puberty without much questioning. I never 'hated' my body, and still don't. I just feel as I would of been so much more happier as a man. As a young child - I would tell my family that I was a boy, I wore boy clothes and would say that my name was Andy. As I got older, I cross dressed. I would cry when my mom made me wear dresses, so she finally gave up and said I could wear what I would like too. I was thought of as a tomboy all through school, around college I cut my hair and still wore men's clothes.

   I get really excited talking about transitioning to my girlfriend, as I talk about growing facial hair and having a deeper voice. But, on the other side of it I get depressed because I will never be a cis male. I feel that I should just stay the way I am and do nothing with transitioning seeing as I will never be able to have a penis and produce children with the love of my life through my own sperm. That part really gets to me.

   I have just recently came out to my family and friends on the possibility that I could be FTM, and that I will be going to therapy to figure it out. I know that is a given. I am blessed to have such supportive people in my life if it is the step I decide to take. I'm just really confused, to the point it keeps me up at night. I was wanting to ask everyone here for some advice. Anything would be much appreciated. I hope I did not offend anyone here, I am just stating how I feel personally and I would never mean to upset anyone. I've followed this site for a while before joining tonight, and all of you are incredibly strong, wonderful people.

Welcome to Susans, Bearr. 

Yes, get yourself into therapy. No one here can tell you if you are transgender or not.  But having said that, your experience does sound very similar to many of us around here. 

Sometime ago I realized that cis people may occasionally wonder what it's like to be the opposite gender, but they don't have the body or gender dysphoria you described.  That was a revelation to me.  And one that convinced me that I really was different from the very beginning.

I wish you the best.  And please do stick around...I'm sure you'll find a lot of answers and support from some amazing people around here.

Quote from: katiej on June 20, 2014, 09:57:39 PM
Welcome to Susans, Bearr. 

Yes, get yourself into therapy. No one here can tell you if you are transgender or not.  But having said that, your experience does sound very similar to many of us around here. 

Sometime ago I realized that cis people may occasionally wonder what it's like to be the opposite gender, but they don't have the body or gender dysphoria you described.  That was a revelation to me.  And one that convinced me that I really was different from the very beginning.

I wish you the best.  And please do stick around...I'm sure you'll find a lot of answers and support from some amazing people around here.

Thank you very much for the advice, Katiej.
I will for sure be going to therapy very soon.

Hi Bear 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

We've got Lions, Tigers and Bears as well as a variety of other wonderful creatures, so I'm sure you'll be just fine

Please be sure to review

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Hugs

V M

Hi Bearr,

Therapy is a great idea. It's a myth that everybody "hates" their body. There is a range of trans experience. I always say to people "if you know one transgender person, you know one transgender person". There is no one "narrative". Some of us do what are full transitions-- every possible surgery, hormones, etc. and some of us don't do too much at all. It all depends on what you want and how you feel.

It's a good place to hang around and learn stuff, so welcome!

--Jay

Hey Bearr

Nice to have you here - I am a newbie myself, so I can say with confidence that this place will definitely help you through this. It has already helped me immensely.

Jay is right, there is no one size fits all with this and that is something I had a very hard time coming to terms with and still do sometimes. I can totally relate to the feeling of 'what's the point, I can never really be a man, have kids with my partner, etc.' I've learned that you find yourself a little more everyday, so take it day by day. As you explore this, you will try things and learn what makes you happy and comfortable. And what doesn't. Obviously some things are more drastic than others, like surgery, but don't worry too much about that until you get to that point. And you'll know when that is.

Be sure to really research and try out different therapists - finding the right one, one that you feel comfortable with and who is open minded and possibly experienced with this will really make a difference. And it sounds like you have support in your friends and family which is great - use that.

Glad you're here Good luck

hi ! I've had this condition since birth or earlier. I've been on the planet quite awhile and been in pain about being wrong for just as long. You have time to sort things out. It took me quite awhile to act on my transgenderness . I finally got the proper help and on  my way. the right therapist is of great help.

Quote from: V M on June 20, 2014, 10:19:23 PM
Hi Bear 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

We've got Lions, Tigers and Bears as well as a variety of other wonderful creatures, so I'm sure you'll be just fine

Please be sure to review

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Hugs

V M

Haha. Thank you, V M!

Jay-- Thank you for the advice. I hope I can get this figured out and look forward to having the support from you!

Pictrig18--- I'm hoping I can find the right therapist to help me. I know things take trial and error. Thanks for the great advice! Good luck on your journey as well.

Stephaniec--- I can understand the pain and trying to figure it all out. I'm glad you have sorted through most of it and seem to be happier

Quote from: Bearr on June 22, 2014, 03:30:44 PM
I'm hoping I can find the right therapist to help me. I know things take trial and error.

Finding the right one can be quite a production for some folks. Just remember that it can be like shopping for the right house. You don't usually just go out and grab the first one you see. Some of us get lucky the first time out, and some go through a whole handful without finding the right one.

Here's hoping you luck out.