Disclaimer: These are just my experiences and other people experience different things.
I've also struggled with feeling stuck and despair that I would ever be seen as a guy. I'm a pretty effeminate looking guy, so I've barely ever passed and I was worried that I never would. That's been gradually getting better on T (which is not for everyone, but it is for me). Starting transition has helped a lot. Every step I take makes me feel happier and more comfortable even though I'm impatient and the dysphoria got worse. More in a kind of now I see why I was so unhappy and what makes me happy and I want it way though. It was nerve wracking at first, but I've grown more and more confident and some of my friends comment on how much happier and more comfortable I am.
When I first started socially transitioning, I cut my hair to appear more masculine and ended up hating it because I don't like or look good with short hair and looked more like a butch woman than a man. I thought that if I grew my hair out like I wanted to, I'd never be able to pass and this caused me to feel stuck as well because, not only did I not look like a guy, I didn't look like the kind of guy I am. It turns out I didn't need to worry. Lately, I've been growing my hair out again and I'm still passing more than when I had short hair. Even when I don't pass, it's still a relief because I look in the mirror and see someone closer to myself
The moral of that story is to try to look like the kind of guy you are rather than adopt the look you think will help you pass more. It's much less frustrating and you may be surprised.
I also found it validates my identity more for myself. Not that that's a problem, but before, although I am a guy and was trying to look like a regular guy, I was trying to look like the guy of guy I'm not and that made me feel uncomfortable. I'm rambling. Sorry.
I like to look at men who look kinda how I want to look. Yeah, it can make me feel more dysphoric, but it's also kinda gratifying to be able to look at something and say, "that is what I want." I guess it sets a goal as well as solidifies in my mind what I want to look like since sometimes, I felt invisible to myself because of what I look like. (Sorry that doesn't make much sense.) There are some traits where I can go, "Ok. This is what I can do to get closer to that." and there are some traits where I look at them and realize that that is actually within the realm of possibility for me. It makes me feel more hopeful and also makes me more comfortable with how I look. I mean, I still want to physically transition, but I'm less bothered by things I can't change like my height.
