Indeed a very beautiful story Noleen!
I planned on writing a short reply but ended up with a summery of my life story. Sorry about that, when I start writing I just can't seem to stop...

The first thing I can recall is being in the first class of primary school, I was 4 years old at the time, looking at one of the girls in my class and wishing I was a girl like her. I thought it was something weird and didn't plan on telling someone. Most of the times when I could make a wish I'd wish I would become a girl. As time passed I caught the information that there were people that "were born inside the wrong body" and underwent surgery to get a female body. From that point on I wanted to become a woman when I grew older.
Like ganjina everytime I saw something on television or in the newspaper about sex changes I would get fascinated. But I also felt a feel of shame, caused by the reaction of my father on the subject. Whenever the topic came up on TV or when we one time ran into a crossdresser/transgendered woman he would make ugly remarks that reinforced me hiding my feelings and thinking I was a freak. The same happened whenever I would play with the clothes some of my pluchies had on or when I showed other forms of feminine behavior.
At the end of primary school I started dressing in my mothers clothes when I was home alone and I had a good group of friends that seemed to accept me for who I was. I was never mocked for identifying with female characters and even accepted as one of the girls for a day. Even though we were joking it felt really good. Looking back that was actually a really happy time in my life. My mom must have suspected something when I wanted a girly agenda in 6th grade (4th grade in the USA). She was alright with it, but was afraid I would get bullied.
Things changed when I went to high school. My mom has psychological problems and could make my life a misery when she went on a rage. When I hit puberty I wouldn't take her

anymore and it became hard for me to stay with her any longer. So I ran away to go live with my father (my parents got divorced when I was 4) For the first two years I was too busy with school and the lawsuits between my parents, however just like PoeticHeart not a day went by that I didn't want to be like the girls I encountered. When I was 16 the lawsuits were finished, I tried to fit in with the boys and went out a lot. This was it, this was life...
..well life wasn't that great. I got to the point where I got depressed. It got better when I started hanging out with a group of girls that became my best friends. At this time I started buying my first own female clothes and slowly the feeling of guilt and shame of doing it turned into some sort of acceptance that I was at least a crossdresser. One day I came across a Youtube channel of a girl from Hawaii, transitioning in her teens. I wished I could to that too, but I quickly returned into a state of denial. I had to live like a boy in the body that testosterone had already made into something I didn't feel right in. I really felt trapped in the wrong body, but just couldn't accept the situation.
This changed when I had just turned 18 and went on a vacation to Cuba. I met some great people, including some gay people and a fashion designer from Venezuela. I actually still have a cloth bag that she made, which reminds me of a good time. They showed me that it's okay to be who you are and accept yourself. When I got back I didn't feel the need to be one of the boys anymore and in my final year of high school I started letting myself become one of the girls. On a sunny winter's day I got all dressed up after finishing a week of exams and I felt the happiest I ever did until that point in my life. I wanted to be a girl forever and for the first time show others that this is who I am. I asked myself two questions; 1. If there was a magic pill that would make me a girl, would I take it? Yes, because I have been wanting to be a girl for nearly as long as I remeber. 2. If there was a magic pill that would make me a boy without the feelings of being a girl, would I take it? No, because I never felt as good as when I expressed myself as a girl and taking that away would make me another person. I am a girl.
Three months later I made the phone call to the gender clinic. I grew older now and my SRS is getting close. Sometimes wishes do come true...
What brought me to Susan's in the first place is to read people's experiences with surgeons. The internet has been a great help in my transition. It showed me what I need to do in order to transition and experiences from others, that were further in the process, have been of much value. In general, contact with other transgendered people learned me that I'm not alone and, except for this one thing, we're just people like everyone else. I'm still learning, but I also hope I can help people that are full of questions like I was a few years ago.