I find myself interested in gay men, or other transgender people, (or masculine women, but most of them are lesbian and looking for 'femme lesbian'(?) I have no clue), so I feel like it's a mission impossible... lol
Hanging out in gaybars is just depressing now..

What are your thoughts? (I am interested in a guy at work, who's gay/bisexual.)

I believe gay guys are just starting to get some awareness about trans guys and I think it's just a matter of time before it sinks in for them that trans men are men and some might actually be their type. Transphobia within LGB circles is unfortunately still a thing but I feel like progress is happening quickly.

I can't speak beyond my own experience, but it obviously depends on the person. I've heard other trans guys say they've been hit on by gay guys until it comes out that they're trans, and then the guy will say "oh honey, I only date real boys". I've also read a comic by a gay man who has dated several trans men and has no problem with it at all.

For myself, my spouse is openly bisexual and incredibly supportive of my transition. He loved me when I was in dresses and heels and makeup (and misery) and he loves me in cargo shorts and a binder and a gaming t-shirt (and much happier). Of course, we have the benefit of 10 years of being together as a foundation, and it's nothing like first dating someone. I have no idea how he would've reacted had I been transitioned when we first met.

I imagine it entirely depends on the person and what they're looking for in a relationship, honestly.

I was curious about this too. Is there a better chance if the two gay men are both asexual?

Some gay men date trans men, some don't. However, I wouldn't recommend dating a co-worker.

I guess, some do

I just had a nasty experience with that.  I posted a conversation on my tumblr if you want to check it out.  I'm a little shaken up but I'm doing okay, I think, so far. 

NSFW language and caution for possibly triggering transphobic language.  Click on each picture to enlarge it.

http://squirrelshideout.tumblr.com/post/89772028516/i-havent-gotten-it-this-bad-for-awhile-but-i-feel

Unfortunately, that seems to be the case (at least from all the things I've read) if they want to involve sex in a relationship in general.

I know trans guys in relationships with cis gay guys. I wouldn't say it was the rule or anything.

--Jay

I was going to link a video from this YouTuber where he brings his cis boyfriend on to talk about their relationship but I can't find it. It seems like he removed it or maybe I'm just not finding it. Maybe they broke up and it seemed weird to keep it there. They were both so adorable!

I got hit by gay men and a couple of my gay friend thinks I'm hot.
It depends of the person really, some care and some don't care.

Yes, gay men will date transmen. Seeing as, you know, transmen are men.

Any dude who would turn you down on the grounds of him being transphobic is a dude you're better off not going out with anyway.

NotAnotherAiden has a LOT of helpful posts on dating for gay transmen.

I'm in a relationship with a gay man.

I've had plenty of other gay men interested in me as well, both knowing that I'm trans beforehand or after getting to know me.

Oh and, I think it depends. My brother is gay and he has told me he'd never date a trans guy because of the genitals issue (even post op he claims he can't get into). But he has seen trans men who he thinks are wicked hot, so I have a feeling this is related to something he's going through personally lol.

Quote from: birkin on June 24, 2014, 08:12:52 PM
Oh and, I think it depends. My brother is gay and he has told me he'd never date a trans guy because of the genitals issue (even post op he claims he can't get into). But he has seen trans men who he thinks are wicked hot, so I have a feeling this is related to something he's going through personally lol.

As he keeps seeing/meeting trans men who he finds hot and especially if he starts to get to know them and realize he likes them, I have a feeling he's going to get over that. I think a lot of us merely like certain genitals by association, e.g. "That's what's attached to what I like so I like that." When it finally sinks in that "that's not (necessarily) what's attached to what I like" then he may have a moment of self-realization. I don't think sexual orientation initially has much at all to do with that. At least it didn't for me and I'm sure I'm not that unusual.

I've gotten more nastiness from gay cismen than from anyone else. They will date transmen, but I think we're in a phase right now where our existence is believed to be up for debate, and there are no checks on in-group abuse. I am primarily attracted to gay men and always have been but I avoid them unless I'm feeling super confident.

Just like any other person really. Some will date us and some won't. Re: Dating a co-worker.... Not a great idea. In fact it may be against company policy depending on where you work.

I've dated several cis gay men and two of my closest friends are both gay, knew me before I came out and we're closer now than before. Dating either one would be like dating my brother though so hah.

People are people no matter their sexual orientation (or gender identity) so it's really hard to say whether a whole group (gay cis men) would be willing to date another group (gay trans men). Some will and some won't. Also remember there are bi, pan, omni and several more sexual identifying men who will date trans men. 

Regarding the co-worker thing, it's not a ''serious'' job, it's a store, so we work like once a week, and almost never have the same shift.
And I'm moving to another city in 2 months, so it wouldn't work anyway... 

But thanks, for answers. I think it really depends, and I'm not sure he even knows I like guys too. But I don't want to write on fb that I'm ''interested'' in men and women, because I can't stand straight guys, who might see me as a ''vagina'', and therefore will try and hit on me.. (Not that a straight guy would find me attractive either lol. Maybe I'm safe)

I'm always surprised when I read questions like this because I have so many gay trans friends who date cis gay men, have steady relationships, have casual sex hookups and so on.

I know gay trans men men who use dating sites, go to sex clubs and bath houses or dark rooms. I know trans men with long term gay cis partners and husbands.

Like in all populations, some gay men are transphobic or just general idiots, and it is best to avoid them.

Others don't want to have a partner who has certain physical characteristics, and that's not transphobic (though the way he communicates it might be transphobic/insensitive). But it's completely ok if someone likes large penises that can ejaculate sperm. They have to fight for being allowed to like penis and some went to prison for it, so I think it's disrespectful to call that want alone transphobic. Rejection is not transphobia.
Sometimes rejection is not even about the junk but rather about social behavior or general insecurity (often on both sides).

But only a certain part of gay men is really strongly into penises. Others are fine with other junk too. Several gay tops have told a friend of mine that ->-bleeped-<-ing a man vaginally is a lot better than ->-bleeped-<-ing him anally, for anatomical reasons.
And many (more than 50% I think) are not into ->-bleeped-<-ing at all, they prefer ->-bleeped-<-s or handjobs.

Others just don't care, and are mainly into the man, not the junk.
We discussed this at a group last year that was attended by many cis gay men, and those who had dated trans men said that the body texture changes so much (smell, taste, skin) that in combination with male looks, they just saw the man and didn't care if he was trans.

All in all I've always found that gay men are the most open to me being trans. Over the years, only about 5 gay men have reacted negatively when I outet myself (out of more than 100), and one friend who dates online got rejected only by 3 men out of 60. And even they were polite.

If you want advise for dating gay men you can check out NotAnotherAiden's websites and Gaytransguys tumblr.
Both websites say that the major point when dating gay men is to be confident and go for what you want because gay men don't woo you like straight men or lesbians do. If you wait for that- you can wait long ;-) Gay men are much easier to date than lesbians or straight men or women once you've got the hang of it.

Quote from: Sebryn on June 24, 2014, 11:13:21 PM
I've dated several cis gay men and two of my closest friends are both gay, knew me before I came out and we're closer now than before. Dating either one would be like dating my brother though so hah.

This is something I've never quite gotten myself. I've had really close friends who I later developed quite a crush on over time. Often I wasn't attracted to them initially. Getting to know them is what made them become more physically attractive to me, or rather, maybe it made me care less about them not fitting what I would call my usual type.

On that note, I've followed some trans men on their YouTube channels for a year or more in some cases, enough to watch the transformation from looking female and not passing to passing really well and actually being quite attractive as a guy. It was enough to trigger a little conversation between the angel on one shoulder and the devil on another since I feel so completely gay and not at all bisexual. The little devil is saying "No way man! Off limits! Have you already forgotten that he was a GIRL just a little while ago?" and the little angel is going "OMG, so hot! Drop your hang-ups, man!" but then the little angel speaks up again and says "Nevermind what I said. You're twice his age, you dirty old man. You need more hang-ups."

It's been something of a lesson in gender for me and how similar men and women are in many ways. It reminds me that at the core, men and women really are very similar and a little chemical shift in one direction or the other can make all the difference, watching someone transform gradually like that and realize that it's the exact same person and yet he seems so different. I'm still gay though. I often wish I was bisexual. I'm jealous of those folks.

Quote from: staypositive1 on June 25, 2014, 04:43:24 AM
Regarding the co-worker thing, it's not a ''serious'' job, it's a store, so we work like once a week, and almost never have the same shift.

That really is different. The point with dating a coworker is if things go sour, you're stuck seeing them regularly, and that's a LOT more problematic if one of you is in a position of power over the other. If it's a somewhat disposable job and you can get another one like it fairly easily, then the risk is obviously not comparable.