Quote from: Carrie Liz on June 20, 2014, 12:04:14 PM
So if I'm understanding the experience of most, basically it seems that most of the regrets are coming from people who were generally okay with what they had beforehand, but were looking to do it because of social expectations to do it, or just because the individual was seeking to look or feel more womanly, and the surgery didn't live up to their expectations. I still don't think I've seen any regrets posted from people whose former anatomy was a constant source of dysphoria, and something that actively bothered them.

Is that about right? Or did I miss something? Or am I oversimplifying it?

I was indifferent about my genitals before SRS. I also really had essentially no experience or understanding of (anatomically) female genitals before I had surgery either. Didn't really even think how much it would change things with respect to urination and cleanliness and so on.

God damn I want to die

Quote from: RoxanneN on June 20, 2014, 01:28:02 PM
God damn I want to die

Sorry, I didn't mean to trigger anything. I just feel like doubts are something that everyone probably has going into such a life-changing decision, so I'm just making an effort to learn every possible variable before going into it... weighing the pros from those who loved it and the cons from those who regret it.

I hope it's okay... I'm just a curious person who's very grateful that you're willing to open up about this.

I've read all of your posts about the struggles you've endured, and I'm really sorry that anyone has to go through that kind of struggle.

*hugs,* for what it's worth.

Alright, so it looks like I'm going in as a science experiment 

Dysphoria about penis: small to moderate (don't like looking at it if I don't have to.)
Sexuality of new vagina: moderate to large (of course I want to have sex with it, i'm not a eunich.)
Body Image: For the most part happy.
Peer Pressure: None
Still wanting to get SRS after reading all these posts: Definately

Sorry about those with bad experiences but I'm going to do as I've always done and hope for the best. Again sorry, but I'm more optimist than pessimist and mere force of will has allowed me to carry on the past 17 years.  Ah, the arrogance of youth ^_^

Quote from: Carrie Liz on June 20, 2014, 02:27:31 PM
Sorry, I didn't mean to trigger anything. I just feel like doubts are something that everyone probably has going into such a life-changing decision, so I'm just making an effort to learn every possible variable before going into it... weighing the pros from those who loved it and the cons from those who regret it.

I hope it's okay... I'm just a curious person who's very grateful that you're willing to open up about this.

I've read all of your posts about the struggles you've endured, and I'm really sorry that anyone has to go through that kind of struggle.

*hugs,* for what it's worth.

You didn't trigger anything. I've felt this way for a long time. Every day it hurts.

*hugs, if you'll have a crying Amazon*

*hugs* *hugs* *some more hugs* Just because! Some of the most friendly people I know are built like Amazons.  Just please don't crush me 

Quote from: Madison (kiara jamie) on April 20, 2014, 10:14:10 PM
i find the only reason i would have any regret in having my GRS, is that i am starting to really like the idea of having my own biological child and its still possible to stop my hrt and try to get a sperm sample before i have GRS, but its not a guarantee that i can get one since i might be permanently sterile and it would just be a big waste of my time and emotions of having to detransition,

I feel your pain, that's the only thing that is keeping me from starting HRT, even though my dyphoria is growing a lot lately, I don't have money to store my sperm, but I really want my biological cildren in the future, that's really one of the hardest decision I have to make...

If you want to, you can get eximined by a dotor and ask if you are already permanent sterile, if you aren't you might be able to detransition and get a sperm sample, I know of people who stopped HRT for 2 or 3 months and we're able to do so.

Quote from: Jennifer.Alexandria on June 20, 2014, 02:51:51 PM
*hugs* *hugs* *some more hugs* Just because! Some of the most friendly people I know are built like Amazons.  Just please don't crush me 

*hugs*. Don't worry you'd hurt me now I'm still WIA.

About the orgams, I really don't understand how you can regret this, like really everybody knows about the complication, and even if you doctors didn't tell you about the complication, you could have just made a research yourself! This is only your fault, I hope you'll be able to change your mistake and live your life as you want to! But still, what did you was very immature.

Quote from: Emily29 on June 20, 2014, 03:00:57 PM
About the orgams, I really don't understand how you can regret this, like really everybody knows about the complication, and even if you doctors didn't tell you about the complication, you could have just made a research yourself! This is only your fault, I hope you'll be able to change your mistake and live your life as you want to! But still, what did you was very immature.

Please don't make blanket comments like this.  Some people don't have researching skills, or were lied and/or taken advantage of, or the data was not available or had limited availability at the time. This is just mean and hurtfull.

Quote from: Emily29 on June 20, 2014, 03:00:57 PM
About the orgams, I really don't understand how you can regret this, like really everybody knows about the complication, and even if you doctors didn't tell you about the complication, you could have just made a research yourself! This is only your fault, I hope you'll be able to change your mistake and live your life as you want to! But still, what did you was very immature.

For my part, it wasn't that I simply didn't know, it was that I had multiple professionals - medical and mental health - repeatedly, on a basis of roughly monthly, insisting to me that the risk of the complication was effectively non-existent with modern methods and asserting the information I had to the contrary was wrong and outdated (generally saying so in response to my attempt to have a frank discussion about the possibilities of SRS based on the information I had found.)

Still want to die. Don't have the means to do it at hand. Keep thinking of jumping from a high place though. Don't want to live in a world where this is my burden. Only hanging on for Miro's response.

No no no. Jumping's awefully messy. Plus you'ld want to hit terminal velocity I'm assuming. So then there's all that time where you'ld have to think about it. Could land wrong end up with just broken limbs. Definately jumping won't do 

Just curious, but have you tried hypnosis? Small posability it may take.

Quote from: Jennifer.Alexandria on June 20, 2014, 07:14:02 PM
No no no. Jumping's awefully messy. Plus you'ld want to hit terminal velocity I'm assuming. So then there's all that time where you'ld have to think about it. Could land wrong end up with just broken limbs. Definately jumping won't do 

Just curious, but have you tried hypnosis? Small posability it may take.

No I'm not very open to suggestion. Too book smart for my own good. Not sure what it would accomplish either?

Also absolutely do not want to take meds. Have been convinced at various times by docs "just try it out, you don't have to continue" or when in Serbia was given antidepressants after this last failed surgery and they just made me exhausted. And I mean wake up after 10 hours then fall back asleep 2 hours later. Not cool. Was p-ed at that.

The problem is the body, not the mind.

No regrets from any of the surgeries (I had BA and Orchi three years ago and SRS 6 months ago), all were a major positive step for me and finally I feel like I have my life somewhat sorted out. This past 6 months is the first time in many years where I haven't been suicidal or elf harmed at any point, I felt like I was getting pretty close to the last straw before my operation in January.

As others have said transition and surgeries don't fix everything for you, and I wouldn't say I don't have problems (I'm still bipolar) but I can definitely say I have no regrets. I had a huge problem with my prior anatomy (cried during the operation consult!) so this outcome isn't a huge surprise.

Sorry to be one of those gross positive, life affirming responses, I hate those people...

Quote from: RoxanneN on June 20, 2014, 07:29:02 PM
No I'm not very open to suggestion. Too book smart for my own good. Not sure what it would accomplish either?

Also absolutely do not want to take meds. Have been convinced at various times by docs "just try it out, you don't have to continue" or when in Serbia was given antidepressants after this last failed surgery and they just made me exhausted. And I mean wake up after 10 hours then fall back asleep 2 hours later. Not cool. Was p-ed at that.

The problem is the body, not the mind.

There's lots of different types though, some can be uppers? Most take about 6 weeks before they stop kicking the crap out of you too.

Sorry, I know I don't know you or your situation, just talking as somebody who has tried a lot of meds and had their fill of psychology.

Quote from: cruise4burgers on June 26, 2014, 10:36:53 AM
There's lots of different types though, some can be uppers? Most take about 6 weeks before they stop kicking the crap out of you too.

Sorry, I know I don't know you or your situation, just talking as somebody who has tried a lot of meds and had their fills of psychology.

Again the problem is the body, not the mind. The whole fact of even giving me meds is a f-ing insult. Fix my body don't break my brain.

I read your post about crying during your surgical consult. I certainly was neither happy nor sad during mine really (was more glad to get my BAS done and get transition over with) but I've cried. And cried. And cried. And cried about my genitals now. Choking up right now.

I didn't really feel much  during my pre/post surgery timeframe, but before I was devoted to fixing this.

After? It's there, and kinda ugly. If it stayed ugly/painful I might regret it, but I know it'll get prettier/less painful and I won't regret it.

Also, when I put my mind to it everything down there already feels really tingly/soft, like I can almost imagine what a man'll feel like down there - and it feels darn good.

Nothing wrong with positive stories, only when (as I have encountered in some spaces) there is hostility or prohibition on anything but positive stories about SRS and similar. It's the strangest thing in those spaces: one can struggle years after the fact with the loss of jobs, family, friends, and/or marriage and it's okay, but regret something like SRS and struggle with even the first few months or year afterwards and there's anger about it. I've been told "you might scare others from having SRS!"

I feel certain that I won't regret BA and FFS because I very much am uncomfortable with my body in ways that I seek to address with those procedures, so they're right for me and I need them. And I think that's a big part of the problem - the view that how can a trans woman not need the same treatments as others, etc.

Quote from: Agent_J on June 26, 2014, 01:38:15 PM
Nothing wrong with positive stories, only when (as I have encountered in some spaces) there is hostility or prohibition on anything but positive stories about SRS and similar. It's the strangest thing in those spaces: one can struggle years after the fact with the loss of jobs, family, friends, and/or marriage and it's okay, but regret something like SRS and struggle with even the first few months or year afterwards and there's anger about it. I've been told "you might scare others from having SRS!"

I feel certain that I won't regret BA and FFS because I very much am uncomfortable with my body in ways that I seek to address with those procedures, so they're right for me and I need them. And I think that's a big part of the problem - the view that how can a trans woman not need the same treatments as others, etc.

Need a like button.

I've tended to stay away from the trans* community for the most part because the infighting is ridiculous. I do understand the political motivation of wanting to censor viewpoints and I've been guilty of it recently (the trans/->-bleeped-<- debate) but I don't believe that's the way to move forward.

Quote from: RoxanneN on June 26, 2014, 12:20:55 PM
Again the problem is the body, not the mind. The whole fact of even giving me meds is a f-ing insult. Fix my body don't break my brain.

I read your post about crying during your surgical consult. I certainly was neither happy nor sad during mine really (was more glad to get my BAS done and get transition over with) but I've cried. And cried. And cried. And cried about my genitals now. Choking up right now.

Wasn't trying to insult you, I get that the body is the problem, just suggesting there are different tools to cope and that not all psychopharmacology is the same. (I.e they're not all just zombie makers).