Quote from: Allyda on June 25, 2014, 10:43:51 PM
Well, it's your thread Steph. I'm just trying to be respectful for others who may want to post to your original topic. I don't think you have to worry about that being it's your thread, lol!

I enjoyed your interest.

Ally

I've got another story about two Navajo Indians I met in Santa Fe some time.

Quote from: stephaniec on June 25, 2014, 10:51:03 PM
I've got another story about two Navajo Indians I met in Santa Fe some time.

I'd love to hear it. Pm  me if you want.

Ally

I've covered the incidents in the past a few times here so I won't bore you again,wanting to start school as a girl,taking old clothes from the stuff going to jumble sale,wanting to be the girl on the back of an older boy's BSA,hating boy's haircuts etc.
I was a few weeks past my 21 st birthday and was working on my Triumph,it was a very cold winter so cold I did 30 minutes on,15 minutes off.My Dad was complaining about the mess I'd made so I used old newspapers to stop oil getting on the garage floor.We didn't usually get a seedy newspaper but there was a special offer Mum wanted so it mean't buying a weeks worth.There was a transexual life story in it and when i read it it was like a bucket of icy water was thrown over me.The experiences were so similair that I was now able to join the dots and realise what made me different and this feeling was never going away wasn't a phase and one day I'd have to deal with it.
I wish I'd sought help but I was so sure I'd be an ugly,hairy monster I became a caricature of a man,bikes,muscle cars,booze,weed,speed,girls(and a few guys).In reality very few people were fooled.

I rely a lot on dictation as I have had strokes and seizures typing is hard but so many of your stories are so accurate if only we did not have the religious jerks perhaps it would have been easier for all of us

Sorry for spelling grammar

In childhood I was always more interested in playing with girls and my male friends sisters than with males. It was at the age of 8 that I became aware of the differences between male and female and began questioning why I was the way I was.  I had never really fit in with my peers and for that reason stacked with fear of judgement from my family I had kept my feelings to myself.  It had taken me the next four years to build up the courage to grow my hair long at the age of twelve.  It was also at this point that I learned through the internet that other people felt the same way as I did and that I wasn't just crazy.  I would cross dress throughout my teens when no one was home.  Having been a competitive swimmer ages 7-19, once my manlihood started being more manly I began tucking it all back as best I could before races as there would just be so many people watching me and standing on a starting block in a speedo leaves little to the imagination.  I was a bit of a late bloomer, and always the smallest in my grade, but when my body started developing the way it did in contrast to the females in my grade, it found myself anorexic ages 14-19 on top of being a competitive athlete.  In high school I was a bit of an oddball.  Most of my friends were female, but still afraid of judgement and so very content that I actually had friends I continued to keep my feelings to myself.  I came out to a few close friends and my parents when I was 19.  My mother, naturally worried about me, went to see our family doctor to educate herself and gain some piece of mind.  I'm really thankful for this, as it was her speaking with out physician that got me lined up so see the one therapist in the province who deals with and specializes in trans patients.  I had seen him when I was 21, however the way it worked out he retired before I could receive my letter for the endo.  At this point they were unsure if he would be replaced as there was no one else in the practice.  I became discouraged, gave away all my worldly belongings, became highly involved in political activism, and spent a little over a year travelling the country with my K9 companion.  When I returned home I spent 9 months working and seeing the new gender therapist here.  She hadn't specialized in gender therapy in the past but had stepped in when she was needed.  I feel as though there is a lot she could be more knowledgeable about but I had a really great experience with her. It's unfortunate I stepped away when I did, but am incredibly grateful I took the time to find myself.

In retrospect I've known my entire life I was born a little girl and at the same time was young and confused and just wanted acceptance so I found it by being who the people around me wanted me to be.

When I was a child, I played with both boys and girls. I remember one time when I wanted to follow some girlfriends down into a finished basement to play that they didn't want me to follow because I was a boy and they were going to play with dolls or something. I felt rejected. Then later puberty kicked in and I learned what my sexual role was supposed to be. My gut reaction was horror and envy like I was cheated out of something. I felt like I was given the wrong gender. I envied girls. I was attracted to girls but I wanted to also be one of them. That feeling never went away. I went on to envy my girlfriends. I am okay as a guy but I am pretty sure I'd be happier as a woman.

I started stealing and wearing. my sisters clothes since I was like 5 (and I still do to this day, only I don't need to return them.) Around early middle school I started to gain the urge to be a girl, though I didn't think it possible, so I tried to live as a boy. Though I'm not sure if it contributes, I've always wanted long hair and I've always kept my nails long. I learned of srs around early high school, but all I knew is that it was expensive, so I never considered it. After I started to feel depressed in January of this year, Ruby, an online friend of mine, set me up to talk with one of hers, a girl named Blair. Blair was mtf and informed me on the basics and whatever else I asked about from then on. She became like a big sis to be. I also studied a lot on my own but mostly from youtube. I came out to my mom in April then my dad the next week,  that period was pretty much hell, my sister found out next week, she was cool though. The week after that I read a letter I named "My Final Effort" to my mom and it helped to understand. Currently I'm in the therapy stage, but I'll hopefully be starting hrt soon.